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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Toddlers and ear piercing

140 replies

nellyjelly · 28/04/2013 07:24

AIBU to think this is just wrong?

In a shop today and a mother was literally holding her 2 year old down while the piercer put the earrings in. One ear already done and child screaming, so she knew what was coming on the second ear.

Bloody barbaric. I don't mind pierced ears and when my DD is old enough to make the choice she can have it done. But a baby? How come it is even legal?

OP posts:

Sirzy · 28/04/2013 07:31

Personally I think doing it on a child that age is even worse than doing it on a small baby (which I hate anyway!)

I would be quite happy to see a law put in place that you have to be over 8 (or even 10) before any piercing can take place.

Original poster

nellyjelly · 28/04/2013 07:31

Hmmmmm just did a little search on MN and can see this topic has ended badly before. Apologies for starting it up again but really was just so shocked yesterday to see what happened.

OP posts:

EggsMichelle · 28/04/2013 07:35

I'm with you on it being disgusting, plus the infection rate must be high with all the finger sucking and fiddling little ones do (piercings are so itchy when they are healing)

BumpingFuglies · 28/04/2013 07:36

I think it's awful.

TidyDancer · 28/04/2013 07:37

Yes it is awful. My rule is not before secondary school.

BlackholesAndRevelations · 28/04/2013 07:42

Why is hard hat needed?

I agree op; I think toddlers look horrendous with their ears pierced, let alone the pain they've been forced to endure.

IvanaCake · 28/04/2013 07:46

I agree completely. It's assault...I just wish the law would recognise it as such.

It looks awful too.

HollyBerryBush · 28/04/2013 07:46

I think the Yoruban pratice of face cutting for babies is much worse, fortunately it's rare that we see a child with it these days.

I don't like any piercing, anywhere. ikk

Toadinthehole · 28/04/2013 07:51

I am astounded that anyone would do this.

It probably is a form of assault: I expect no-one has really considered whether or not it is because until recently no one would have considered piercing a toddler's ear.

chattychattyboomba · 28/04/2013 07:56

It's often a cultural thing. My DH is 7th Day Adventist and he would be absolutely disgusted if I were to pierce DD's ears... Along with his family. Mine would be less shocked but i don't like it either. That being said it was the done thing 30 years ago for little girls (i had mine done when i was 3). My cleaner (Jamaican) is always suggesting i pierce my 2 y/olds ears as she is not blessed with long hair and often gets mistaken for a boy. I just smile and say 'no, i would rather not'

Sirzy · 28/04/2013 07:56

I know people who had ears pierced as toddlers 30 years ago.

I know one person who had ears pierced as a baby because she looked like a boy and she is in her late 20s now

It's not a new thing.

IHateSafeStyle · 28/04/2013 07:58

I had mine done as a baby (of the 70s), when I had a second lot done as a teen I kept feeling like their was blood running down my ear was strange and mentioned it to mum who told me mine had bleed when I them done as a baby.

toffeelolly · 28/04/2013 08:40

My little dd had her's done when she was 3 1/2 . From around the age if 3 asked could she have earring's, got her little toy clipon's . But wanted earring's like mine. So told her it would nip a little or maybe even sore, she still wanted earring's, so after thinking it through she got them done, both ear's were done at the same time they took there time with her, she loved picking her 9ct gold earring's when the earring's went in she never made a sound or moved, just a great big smile, and said mummy told you i was going to be brave. She could not wait to see her ear's. Was told to keep cleaning and turning her earring's and not to remove them for 6 months.Never had any ear infection's ( which what i was more worried about) . When she started school she was the only one in the class with earring' then in p3 this year a few more got them done. I found when you get them done younger they do not fiddle about with them the same. My brother's dd is in p5 got her's done 6 months ago and has changed her earring's about 3 times . So glad i got my dd done, and i would not have got them done when she was a baby.

SoulTrain · 28/04/2013 08:45

It's horrendous, why anyone would inflict pain on their child, to my mind, is barbaric.

Sirzy · 28/04/2013 08:48

I don't understand the "they asked so I let them" way of thinking. My 3 year old asks for lots of things but there is such a word as NO!

Umlauf · 28/04/2013 08:48

It could be a cultural thing. In Spain all baby girls have it done and they think its cruel to do it when the child is old enough to have a concept of what's happening. Its also seen as quite chavvy not to have it done.

I'm living in Spain and expecting in September and struggling over what to do with my baby. I don't like it personally but don't want it to be something my child is bullied over...

toffeelolly · 28/04/2013 08:54

Well all i say to that your children your choice my children my choice . And by the way my dd does not get everything she wants.

Itchywoolyjumper · 28/04/2013 09:04

There was a fight when I was at primary school when we were about 9 or 10 where one girl pulled an other's earring. She didn't tear the ear but I can still hear the shriek of pain from her victim. It was a long time and a lot of nursing down the line before I saw an other person as distressed as that.
Pretty much on the basis of that I disagree with piercing children's ears.

Original poster

nellyjelly · 28/04/2013 09:13

Do people really think 'my kids my choice' is a good mantra? Surely there should be some basic level of what is acceptable or not? Not just in relation to this matter but in general. It is a trite thing to say......if anything goes in child rearing, where do we draw the line?

Sorry just hate that 'my choice' argument that gets trotted out on MN.

OP posts:

goldenlula · 28/04/2013 09:20

I had mine done at about 2, so would have been 1979 ish so it is not a new thing. Dd will not be having hers done until she is older, but that is not because I have any horrific memories or anything, I will just wait until she wants them to be done.

Toadinthehole · 28/04/2013 09:22

It is wrong to say "you're not allowed to critique my choice".

MrBloomsBloomers · 28/04/2013 09:22

My kids my choice? Phew! Ill tell that to social services when they come round about me keeping dd in a cage and feeding her dog food

nametakenagain · 28/04/2013 09:40

Yes! Nelly and MrBloom, I completely agree. Parents are not always the best judges of should happen to their children.'My kids, my choice' is treating children like property.

Beckamaw · 28/04/2013 09:48

Can it only be abuse if it is not done for 'cultural reasons'?
In that case, where do you stand on female genital mutilation?

pigsDOfly · 28/04/2013 09:51

Horrible. Also think there should be an age limit.

When I was at school (eons ago) earrings were not allowed, even in senior school, for the very reason that Itchy mentioned.

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