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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Toddlers and ear piercing

140 replies

nellyjelly · 28/04/2013 07:24

AIBU to think this is just wrong?

In a shop today and a mother was literally holding her 2 year old down while the piercer put the earrings in. One ear already done and child screaming, so she knew what was coming on the second ear.

Bloody barbaric. I don't mind pierced ears and when my DD is old enough to make the choice she can have it done. But a baby? How come it is even legal?

OP posts:
SirBoobAlot · 28/04/2013 13:34

Teach them Italian then, Velvet, don't hurt your child for no reason.

catgirl1976 · 28/04/2013 13:36

Coal mining is a tradition in my famil, a link to my Welsh heritage

I have no desire to send DS down a pit

ToysRLuv · 28/04/2013 13:36

Velvet: Tradition does not equal good. And in Italy there are so many other wonderful traditions you can uphold without (sexist) mutilation.

Beckamaw · 28/04/2013 13:36

Velvetspoon : not one single poster has said it is 'like FMG'.
In fact, I have never seen that stated on any of the ear piercing bunfights.

It is simply a measured point of note to any individual who blindly accepts 'assault by Claire's Accessories' for cultural reasons.
Some people don't seem to accept that cultures get shit wrong sometimes.

However, you knew all that. No need to intentionally misread posts.

VelvetSpoon · 28/04/2013 13:38

We do speak Italian. We have lots of other family traditions which we also observe.

It's a moot point anyway wrt ear piercing because as said above I don't have a daughter (and am unlikely to have more children).

LtEveDallas · 28/04/2013 13:39

I just don't "get" piercings on little girls, I really don't .

They serve no purpose do they? I mean, other than to 'look pretty'. But why do little girls need to look pretty? Look pretty to who, exactly? Aren't all little girls pretty without metal in their ears?

I get it with older children / adults. Earrings become a fashion accessory, you can coordinate with your jewellery, outfits, hair styles etc. Surely that doesn't apply with little children?

Original poster
nellyjelly · 28/04/2013 13:39

Just because something is culturally the norm doesn't mean it is right or it should continue.

OP posts:
ToysRLuv · 28/04/2013 13:44

Velvet: On a more positive note, I think I can see where you are coming from, having a similar background, but rejecting one tradition is not rejecting the culture (or family). I know you want to feel closer to your heritage, and I don't blame you for it, but I'm sure there are a few Italians who don't pierce their daughters' ears either. And they are no lesser Italians - or are they?

TidyDancer · 28/04/2013 13:47

The cultural argument just does not hold up. Lots of things that were done for cultural reasons have since been rejected and time and tradition has moved on. I can understand perhaps why some parents may be misguided by heritage though, so I get the attitude if not the actual following through of the act, which remains wrong.

Therefore leaving that aside, what valid reason does anyone have for doing this? It's unjustifiable and a poor choice to make for a young child who simply can't make that decision themselves.

WMittens · 28/04/2013 14:50

toffeelolly

Assault . Are you for real just because a child has earrings it is assault. get real what a insult.

Go and look up the definition, then get back to us.

likeitorlumpit · 28/04/2013 15:01

i saw a 9 week old having hers done. i was getting a haircut. she was sat in her mums lap next to me. fast asleep. until they did it. that woke her up poor thing. bloody cruel. should wait until they are old enough to say if they want them done. her mum never had hers done made me sick.

marriedinwhiteagain · 28/04/2013 15:03

Why would any parent think it appropriate to make a hole in their baby/infant in order to insert a piece of metal mined by another human for the sake of beauty or prettiness. When a child is old enough to decide they want a permanent hole artificially made in a part of their body they can make a reasoned decision. I have pierced ears; dd's were pierced when she had her first period as a grown up thing to do to mark a significant rite of passage.

Personally I think pierced ears on babies/infants/small children are inappropriate and if I'm totally honest every time I see it I think the child is from a common background. One of two of dd's contemporaries had their ears pierced from about age 10. The child needs to be old enough to have a reasoned say about anything permanent and non health related.

edwardsmum11 · 28/04/2013 15:03

I don't agree with it... wouldn't put holes anywhere in my son tbh.

Andro · 28/04/2013 15:04

The rule in this house is no piercings until you are old enough to sign for them yourself. I don't particularly like seeing toddlers (and especially babies) with pierced ears...and the spikes on the back of the earrings used with piercing guns look potentially very uncomfortable.

sallievp · 28/04/2013 15:07

Here in India every baby has it done as part of a ceremony around their first birthday.

For those parents who do it, I feel like holding them down and piercing them and seeing how they like it!!
also, why stop at earrings?? I think my baby would look nice with a tattoo or navel piercing.

Andro · 28/04/2013 15:09

VelvetSpoon - I hear you on the Italian heritage, I was the only girl on that side of my family not to have pierced ears as a baby.

usualsuspect · 28/04/2013 15:10

I can understand why people don't like to see babies with pierced ears for all sorts of reasons except the it looks chavvy one.

That's not a reason imo. That's people being snobs.

usualsuspect · 28/04/2013 15:11

Oh and I have no problem with older children having pierced ears.

5madthings · 28/04/2013 15:34

I dont like piercings on toddlers. My dd is 28mths and my vague plan at the moment is that if she wants to she can have her ears pierced during the summer holidays between leaving primary and starting high school.

Not too fussed if mine opt for piercings as teens as i did the same myself and they are old enough to look after them etc.

It seems unecessary on little children.

I am lol at easily who had her ears pierced age three as i was getting mine done and she had a massive tantrum so my mum figured as dad was going to be annoyed at me having mine done she would just get us both our ears pierced and get the trauma and my dads fury out the way in one go! I was eight? Anyway dad didnt even notice at first as our hair covered them up. I think it was also very common in the country we lived in at the time (not uk) for girls tp have their ears pierced at a young age. Incidentally my mum.had to wait till she was 16 and yet let us have them done early. Not sure of her logic.

DrCoconut · 28/04/2013 15:38

I don't have a problem with earrings on children. I was 2 when I had mine done. All the women in our family have pierced ears and its no big deal. I wanted to be like mummy and knew it would be sore. We went to an Italian jeweller who did ear piercing regularly on children and had a good reputation. I had no problems and still don't. I'm a complete wuss now and am really glad my mum had them done when I was young. Lets face it most girls will want earrings and having it done while they are fully under parental control actually lessens the chance of infection due to neglect. I see many east European children and Italian, Spanish etc with little ear studs and they look pretty.

soverylucky · 28/04/2013 15:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland · 28/04/2013 15:48

I had mine done when I was a newborn. I'm Latina and girls had/have their ears pierced as babies before they are christened. My godparents, my dad's older brother and his wife, gave me a pair of gold stud earrings for a christening gift.

CruCru · 28/04/2013 16:07

It isn't something I would choose to do and I think it looks a bit funny on very young children. However, I don't much like lots of things on young children:

  • dressed all in pink
  • very long (like bum length) hair
  • uggs (not very supportive)
  • ballet shoes (not very supportive)
  • etc

I'm not sure which of these are considered okay or not by MN.

expatinscotland · 28/04/2013 16:16

My girls had/have very long hair. They like it. If I asked if they wanted to cut it they would protest. Had no idea that was faux pas. Hmm

My elder daughter gravitated towards frilly skirts, dresses and clothes from the time she was a little above a toddler. So I put them on her. My younger one wants to wear trousers and nothing pink. So I put them on her.

Sirzy · 28/04/2013 16:21

The difference is that ear piercing is permanent or leaves a permanent scar. Clothes and hair can be easily changed and are highly unlikely to leave any permenant damage.

Unsupportive shoes on young children are frowned upon because they can cause lasting damage.

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