Toddlers and ear piercing

[nellyjelly]

AIBU to think this is just wrong?

In a shop today and a mother was literally holding her 2 year old down while the piercer put the earrings in. One ear already done and child screaming, so she knew what was coming on the second ear.

Bloody barbaric. I don't mind pierced ears and when my DD is old enough to make the choice she can have it done. But a baby? How come it is even legal?

[nellyjelly]

Btw just realised I said today. Saw it yesterday. Well known accessories shop for young kids.

[WMittens]

It's assault...I just wish the law would recognise it as such.

You know, on some subjects that sort of statement would be a sensationalist exaggeration, however in this context it is 100% correct.

[MrBloomsBloomers]

They wouldn't pierce an adult against their will. Its another one of those situations where a child is treated like they aren't a human with feelings just because of their age. Kind of like smacking an adult versus smacking a child. Its not right.

[Sirzy]

What I don't understand is why society on the whole is quite accepting of ear piercing on babies and toddlers but not naval piercing or nose piercing which would rightly be judged as very wrong - why are ears deemed alright to stick a hole in when the child can't provide informed consent?

[SirBoobAlot]

Poor little girl. Can't believe they went ahead with it if she was screaming so much. I'd complain to head office.

I hate piercings on young children. Hate them. They look ridiculous, firstly, and secondly - it's their body. Theirs, not yours. And a three year old is capable of choosing what sandwich to have / what colour hat to wear / what activity they want to do, but not to understand the fact that they will be in pain, and then they will have a scar for the rest of their lives if they decide to stop wearing the earrings.

Vile.

[TidyDancer]

"Cultural reasons" is not an excuse. And neither is that a child asked for it at the age of three.

I judge parents who allow it too young and I'm not sorry for that. It's disgusting.

[SauvignonBlanche]

YANBU OP, that sounds awful.

[Sickofthesnow]

My oldest DD (9) asked since she was about 3 and got a resounding "NO!" from not only myself, but my dad who told me he would disown me

I finally caved and let her have them done for her 9th birthday last year, because I thought over the years the idea would wear off as would the novelty.

Because she was still so adamant she wanted them I let her get them. Warned her it would be sore, warned her if she didn't keep them clean they could get infected and be sorer - but she was still up for it.

She sat still, got them done, has kept them clean ever since and always follows good hygiene when changing them. She learnt very quickly how to change them herself, as she would have to do it for PE at school.

She has admitted though, that she realises why I wouldn't allow her to get them done when she was younger. And my dad has finally gotten over the rage lol!

I don't like the idea of toddlers and babies having ears pierced. I do understand though that in some cultures it's a "done thing". And I would never slate different cultures, but I do personally believe there is no advantage to causing unnecessary pain in young babies and children

[toffeelolly]

I think we alway's judge parent's yes my dd wanted them done at 3 1/2 it was not a rush decision it was some thing my dd wanted for quite a while, if she had not got them done then, she would likely have got them done later. She was taught from a early age how to clean and look after her ear"s. And now if she is asked what she wants birthdays, christmas's it's alway's earring's. Now looking back my worry was infection and if they had i would have felt so guilty, but looking into into it and making sure they were cleaned well we went ahead and also wearing good gold or silver earrings , studs only. But i do class myself as a good parent, it does not class you as a bad parent just because your child has earring. Not right when parents get babies done or a child who has to be held down , it's not right. But what is the right age when is right when a child is 3 or 9.

[Sirzy]

The right age is when they can make an infomed decision, a 3 year old cant do that.

[ageofgrandillusion]

It's assault, plain and simple.

[TidyDancer]

It's not three, toffeelolly. And I do certainly judge anyone for making that decision when a child is three. Your DD was not old enough to make an intelligent considered choice in the matter and that you felt it necessary to add decoration to her in a way that would permanently scar her is quite sad.

[Beckamaw]

Parmaviolette - at one point did I trivialise FGM?
I think it's fucking vile.
I also think holding a child down and forcing holes through any part of their anatomy is fucking vile.

I'm sick of the 'cultural reasons' card being played for child abuse in any form.
I like to think that education and common sense should always trump 'cultural reasons'.

[Whatalotofpiffle]

It's horrible. I don't think you should be able up pierced a child's ears unholy the child asks to have it done. I asked when I was 5 then refused the second one, so still was not ready for the reality of pain!

My dd is 2 and I wouldn't dream of doing it to her.

I think legislation would be difficult to sort as surely it would make more sense to make it 16 in line with other rights? But this doesn't really make sense as young teens are perfectly capable of deciding

[Whatalotofpiffle]

Toffeelolly, your story is entirely different and handled well

[toffeelolly]

At what age is right . They are still children till they are 16 right. Well all who are quick to judge over this what do you all think when your children get injections or heel prick tests.

[TheYoniWayisGerard]

It's disgusting and tacky. Most other piercings have a minimum age attached to them, iirc, 14 for navel, 16/18 for tongue at many places, so why are ears game for any age?

[catgirl1976]

YANBU

I hate it

[SerotoninCanEatTomorrow]

I certainly judge people who get their toddlers ears pierced. It's chavvy and common to look at - like accessorising a purse! Another accoutrement of the 'mothers' who treat having children as a fashion accessory to go with their Burberry or whatever.

It's assault, pure and simple. It's vile and anyone who puts their child through unnecessary pain is an abuser. No parent in their right mind would assume that a toddler can make an informed decision - anecdotes are not the plural of data - I say no to mine when he wants chocolate for breakfast so I would say no if he wanted to do something that is guaranteed to cause him pain.

If the toddler wanted a 'pretty drawing' on their body, would you take them down to a tattoo parlour?!

[catgirl1976]

toffee

I think injections and heel prick tests are done for medical reasons

There is a bit of a difference isn't there

[SerotoninCanEatTomorrow]

Toffeelolly injections are NECESSARY fashion accessories aren't

[Sirzy]

You aren't seriously comparing it to needed medial procedures are you?

At 3 a child can not understand it will hurt, they can no understand how to care for them, their peers can't understand not to rip them out when playing.

From the age of 8 or 9 most children have much better understanding so from then on if a child wants if then perhaps consider it and discuss it

[TidyDancer]

You can't compare medical procedures to decorative piercing! That's the most ridiculous comparison!

There is no real set age that will ever be settled on, but only a special few will ever agree that a three year old can make an informed decision and actually let them go ahead with it.

[EasilyBored]

My child can get whatever piercing or tattoos he wants.

When he's 18 and not living under my roof.

It's totally and utterly unnecessary. It looks chavy, it's painful, toddlers don't need any help injuring themselves, and it's a massive choking hazard.

If people are going to do it, just be honest. You did it because you think it looks nice. If you are ok putting holes in your child for sake of fashion, then that's for you to think on. It's grim.