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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Toddlers and ear piercing

140 replies

nellyjelly · 28/04/2013 07:24

AIBU to think this is just wrong?

In a shop today and a mother was literally holding her 2 year old down while the piercer put the earrings in. One ear already done and child screaming, so she knew what was coming on the second ear.

Bloody barbaric. I don't mind pierced ears and when my DD is old enough to make the choice she can have it done. But a baby? How come it is even legal?

OP posts:
SerotoninCanEatTomorrow · 28/04/2013 12:52

TidyDancer - I actually LOL'd at the phrase 'special few' - so carefully put!

VelvetSpoon · 28/04/2013 12:53

As ever with these threads, the hysterical 'its like FGM' gets trotted out. Which frankly is a fucking insult to the victims of FGM who are horrifically and permanently scarred, and suffer countless health problems and are often in constant pain. Quite unlike ear piercing, it is not a procedure any girl or woman chooses to have done, at any age.

Ear piercing is not a big deal, not terribly painful and doesn't look chavvy. Every girl in the Italian side of my family (apart from me due to childhood health reasons, I had mine done a few years later in infants school) had their ears pierced before 6 months of age, going back to the late 19th century and probably beyond that. This is not a new thing and I really can't whip myself into a frenzy over it, or condemn people that do it, because I don't think it's wrong. And if you care for the ears properly, and wear the right earrings there is no real risk of infection or ripped earlobes (the only people I know who have suffered infections are those whose ears were pierced as teenagers/adults)

EasilyBored · 28/04/2013 12:54

Meant to add, I don't really have a problem worn people letting their 9 it 10 year olds have it done, as they are old enough to understand how to look after them, and to be responsible for them. I just hate it on babies and toddlers.

SauvignonBlanche · 28/04/2013 12:56

"all who are quick to judge over this what do you all think when your children get injections or heel prick tests."

Fucking hell! Is this for real? Shock

BMW6 · 28/04/2013 12:59

Yuck. Totally Chavvy.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 28/04/2013 13:01

toffeelolly Sun 28-Apr-13 12:39:05
At what age is right . They are still children till they are 16 right. Well all who are quick to judge over this what do you all think when your children get injections or heel prick tests

Um, they're a necessity. You can hardly compare the two. It's not like heel pricks or jabs are done on the whim of a parent. We do them because your child is ill, not for fun.

I think earrings on babies and toddlers is chavvy. At least wait until they're old enough to decide if they actually want it done. Plus it's a choking hazard.

TiggyD · 28/04/2013 13:01

Putting holes in people without their consent is assault, and children cannot give informed consent. Throw those parents in jail along with the circumcisers.

Pigsmummy · 28/04/2013 13:04

It's awful, I know someone whose baby DD is very ill and has had to endure lots of medical treatments, injections etc etc and what do they do? Get her ears pierced because they think that she loos like a boy? At 5 months old. Poor child.

TidyDancer · 28/04/2013 13:04

Why thank you, Serotonin! Grin

toffeelolly · 28/04/2013 13:10

Well said velvet, agree with you there. My dd's ears are far from tacky they are well cared for she has been taught to care for them, do not really care who judge's me. I know u am a good parent. I really cannot belive what some of you can come out with, you are all quick to judge. But for those who are quick to judge who i am sure are not so perfect. If you say children of 3 should not have earrings how can you say if they are 8 or 9 maybe they are still children. so all of you who think it not rigbt for 3 or 4 year old do you not think the age limit should be 16. You get into a debate how is it so wrong for a3 year and not maybe a 8 or 9 year old.

MrBloomsBloomers · 28/04/2013 13:13

For someone who doesn't care who judges you, you're very quick to get defensive about it. Someone who really didnt care wouldn't be arsed about defending their ability as a parent to strangers on the Internet.

toffeelolly · 28/04/2013 13:16

Assault . Are you for real just because a child has earrings it is assault. get real what a insult.

ToysRLuv · 28/04/2013 13:16

My DM and aunt were raised in Greece where it was the cultural norm to pierce little girls' ears (even all the dolls have earrings). Luckily my DGPs were educated and sensible, and never had it done to my mum or aunt. They were the only ones in the town, but my DGF has always been very much of the "never mind what aaalll other are doing - let them jump over cliffs if they want" school of thought.

During the sixties my DM was also the only girl/woman in the town to (horror of horrors!) cycle around in trousers. In RED trousers nonetheless. Caused much tutting in the community, but I'm glad DGPs were such a feminist inspiration. Smile

TidyDancer · 28/04/2013 13:19

toffeelolly, saying a toddler's pierced ears are tacky is an objective statement. I don't think it was directed solely at your DD.

People are judging you because you did a silly thing. They are not wrong and I am more than happy to be one of them.

Every time this thread comes up, I always hope that it reaches someone who would consider dong this, and it changes their mind.

gordyslovesheep · 28/04/2013 13:20

part of being a parent is saying no to stuff they want

DD1 wanted her ears done from age 3 - I said no, she was 10 when I relented - she is still not allowed high heels, a mobile phone or make up for school though - because she wants something isn't a good enough reason to give in

VelvetSpoon · 28/04/2013 13:26

my DGPs were educated and sensible what an unpleasantly supercilious remark - intended to imply, I presume, that people who do pierce a child's ears are chavvy thickos? Hmm.

It amuses me the way these threads descend into this 'I would never do XYZ so that makes me much better/cleverer/socially superior' etc.

FWIW, I am extremely well educated, and if I had a daughter, I would have hers ears pierced as a baby. And I couldn't care less if I was judged for it.

toffeelolly · 28/04/2013 13:27

Yes bloomers you are right do not care who judges me . And will not get into a debate when you all think you are great parents.

Sirzy · 28/04/2013 13:28

Why velvet? Why do you feel the need to put holes in a babies ears?

TidyDancer · 28/04/2013 13:28

No one has said you are a bad parent, just that you made a bad choice. There is a difference.

ToysRLuv · 28/04/2013 13:29

Velvet: Yes, you got it. Maybe a little more education or sense needed here, then? Smile

ToysRLuv · 28/04/2013 13:30

And you seem to care - a lot.

SirBoobAlot · 28/04/2013 13:31

My DS is three. I say yes to him a lot; I stop and ask myself why I'm going to say no if it's my immediate reaction.

I'd say no if he was asking for something that would alter his body, because he isn't old enough yet to understand the long term consequences. It's quite simple.

And it is assault. It's the same as circumcision as far as I'm concerned. Permanently changing your child's body for materialistic reasons.

catgirl1976 · 28/04/2013 13:31

Toffee, it's still wrong at 8 or 9 IMO

VelvetSpoon · 28/04/2013 13:32

For me, it's a tradition of several centuries within my family, a link to our Italian heritage which I want to continue.

And wrt saying it's a bad choice, that's a matter of opinion, not fact.

MrBloomsBloomers · 28/04/2013 13:34

No, Toffee. My point was you actually do care. Otherwise you wouldn't be so defensive over the issue.

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