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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think is this is not embarrassing?

155 replies

D0oinMeCleanin · 03/02/2013 16:56

Ignoring all the background because I can't move until we 'win' a council house, so I can't just leave.

Both dds at a party, which I assume was planned for weeks. I was told about it yesterday. I was at work at teatime, essay writing, dog walking and dryer fixing at lunchtime.

Dd2's only pair of tights that match her dress have a hole in the crotch, only the crotch. |I only noticed this hole when I was getting her dressed. Her dress covers the crotch. She has clean knickers on, the same colour as the tights. Had she had other tights I would have gave her them, but she doesn't, so she wore the holey ones. There are no holes in the leg, only the crotch. She is 6 so she is not inclined to go around with her skirt above her head.

She has told DH about the rip on the way to the party. He is 'mortified' and 'feels like he can't go now' I am 'not a proper a mother' and 'want our children to be scruffy' his family will 'all be talking about us'

AIBU to think he needs to get a fucking grip and stop allowing our children to be near his family if they'd honestly make dd2 feel bad about a hole in some tights (which they wouldn't)?

OP posts:
Flisspaps · 03/02/2013 16:58

I'm a grown woman and still wear tights with a hole in the crotch (not bought that way)!

Your DH needs to fuck the fuck off. He must be so wearing.

greenpostit · 03/02/2013 16:58

Yanbu of course he needs to get a grip.

StinkyWicket · 03/02/2013 16:58

YANBU.

Molehillmountain · 03/02/2013 16:59

If he's that mortified, perhaps he could mend them or buy more. I see no problem.

SPsFanjoIsAsComfyAsAOnesie · 03/02/2013 17:01

YANBU

I am 22 and I have tights and legging with holes in the crotch which I still wear Blush They are not on show amd I tend not to flash often Grin

LeftMeInSuspenders · 03/02/2013 17:01

Your DH is being a bit dramatic (and rude)
YANBU

OutragedFromLeeds · 03/02/2013 17:03

YANBU

I have some leggins with a small hole in the leg, I just wear them with the hole at the back, if there are no other clean. No-ones made me feel bad about it yet.

BluelightsAndSirens · 03/02/2013 17:03

Yanbu your DH is being a drama llama.

Original poster
D0oinMeCleanin · 03/02/2013 17:09

None of you have any self respect according to DH Hmm

He's a twat. I just hope he hasn't given dd2 a complex about it. I normally ban them from family parties from his side because his does this all the time. It used to be about the fact that their shoes were not the exact shade of their dress, now both children obsessively collect shoes, especially dd1.

This is their cousins birthday party though, so they had to go.

Even leaving him won't stop this. I can't just stop them seeing him completely. I might just drop them off nekkid and leave him to dress them when he has them Wink

OP posts:
SPsFanjoIsAsComfyAsAOnesie · 03/02/2013 17:11

Id let him dress their selves. Think tutu, wellies, cape, firemans hat and pj top. Grin

Which his head explode

EduCated · 03/02/2013 17:14

As someone currently wearing holey-crotches tights, fuck you Dooin's DH Angry How fucking dare you suggest I have no self respect. Get a fucking grip.

This has made me unreasonably angry.

HoneyDragon · 03/02/2013 17:15

I not have holes in my leggings but only because I d a good sewing session this week as the holes were getting too big to ignore

HoneyDragon · 03/02/2013 17:16

Don't all your dh's trousers and pants have holes in he crotch area? Grin, oh the shame.

ChuffMuffin · 03/02/2013 17:17

This happens to me all the time! I'm 5"10 with a 30" inside leg and no matter what fucking bastard size of tights I buy the crotch NEVER comes up anywhere near my actual crotch. It just seems like the crotch to waist bits are far longer rather than the legs. I spend all day trying to pull the fuckers up in that special classy, dignified loose tights way and they end up ripping. I have midget legs for my height FGS and they still don't fit!

Your DH should be made to wear a pair for a day and see how long it takes for him to rip them.

KatyTheCleaningLady · 03/02/2013 17:17

You're married to a man who says you're not a proper mother??

Sad
jb198 · 03/02/2013 17:19

I often let dd 5 dress herself when the once a month wonder is taking her out. Especially if I know they are going out somewhere. I tell her how cool she looks and then give him the biggest grin when I wave her off.
Makes me chuckle!

maras2 · 03/02/2013 17:20

FFS Doin,how many times do you need to be told to kick his miserable,twatty skanky ass out?I hope that your bid on the house is successful.

Flisspaps · 03/02/2013 17:20

No self respect? Fuck off Hmm

I respect my children enough to not try and make them feel small by picking at unimportant non-issues, and I have enough self respect to know a hole in my tights that NOONE CAN SEE isn't worth getting myself tied up in knots.

Dooin, I don't know how you do it.

Coconutty · 03/02/2013 17:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shesariver · 03/02/2013 17:20

I feel sorry for you, you are married to someone who doesnt respect you and thinks you are not a "proper" Mother - whatever that may mean Hmm

Naysa · 03/02/2013 17:21

Your husband's a massive twat. My tights have a hole in the crotch. So fucking what.

As long as your kids are clean an healthy it's none of anyone else's business.

Coconutty · 03/02/2013 17:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
D0oinMeCleanin · 03/02/2013 17:21

When I was a child my mum made us wear two pairs of knickers with our tights, one under and one over, to stop them falling down Confused

It never worked, the second pair of knickers just fell down with the tights. Maybe I should have made dd2 put extra knickers on?

OP posts:
thebody · 03/02/2013 17:22

What a complete tool he sounds op.

MrsKoala · 03/02/2013 17:23

I purposely cut holes in the crotch of my tights, so what does you dh think of that?!

My family are a bit like this about appearances. Always clutching pearls about a mismatching button or some inconsequential nonsense. It was a relief to grow up and meet normal people who don't care or notice such unforgivable social infractions. My nan was a horrible cold woman who felt she was a good mother Because my dad was 'always clean and matching' the fact she wouldn't hug him in case he messed up her clothes was completely fine tho apparently Confused