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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think is this is not embarrassing?

155 replies

D0oinMeCleanin · 03/02/2013 16:56

Ignoring all the background because I can't move until we 'win' a council house, so I can't just leave.

Both dds at a party, which I assume was planned for weeks. I was told about it yesterday. I was at work at teatime, essay writing, dog walking and dryer fixing at lunchtime.

Dd2's only pair of tights that match her dress have a hole in the crotch, only the crotch. |I only noticed this hole when I was getting her dressed. Her dress covers the crotch. She has clean knickers on, the same colour as the tights. Had she had other tights I would have gave her them, but she doesn't, so she wore the holey ones. There are no holes in the leg, only the crotch. She is 6 so she is not inclined to go around with her skirt above her head.

She has told DH about the rip on the way to the party. He is 'mortified' and 'feels like he can't go now' I am 'not a proper a mother' and 'want our children to be scruffy' his family will 'all be talking about us'

AIBU to think he needs to get a fucking grip and stop allowing our children to be near his family if they'd honestly make dd2 feel bad about a hole in some tights (which they wouldn't)?

OP posts:
MrsDeVere · 03/02/2013 19:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
D0oinMeCleanin · 03/02/2013 19:30

The house and everything in it is in his name Soloman and he is welcome to it. I'm not going to be accused of stealing his inheritance. I can do better on my own.

I've asked him to leave and rent the house to us while we look for somewhere else but the answer is always "Why should I?"

OP posts:
Original poster
D0oinMeCleanin · 03/02/2013 19:45

Sorry you got bullied MrsDV Sad

Like your children mine have drawers bursting with clothes. We can't shut dd2's, but she wanted to wear this particular dress and shoes and only has one pair of tights that remotely match, the dress is green, the shoes black and all her other tights are pink, red or grey school tights. I could have made her wear her playsuit, or shorts and leggings set, or her glittery top with her black leggins or a multitude of other 'fancy' outfits, but she wanted to wear this dress and I really didn't think a hole that no one will see would be an issue.

OP posts:
mrsbunnylove · 03/02/2013 19:48

could be worse. dad was taking mum, me and daughter out for lunch one sunday (years ago) when the conversation turned to the washing not drying and it transpired that of three generations of women in the family, not one of us had a pair of knickers on...

Original poster
D0oinMeCleanin · 03/02/2013 19:48

Would it be unreasonable to text his sister and ask her to send them home? He's switched his phone off and they were meant to be at my mums at 7pm so they could be in bed by 8pm.

OP posts:
Flisspaps · 03/02/2013 19:53

Perfectly reasonable. Failing that, pack an overnight bag and go to your mum's now. With your wine.

MyHeadWasInTheSandNowNot · 03/02/2013 19:54

I'd just start dripping gloucose into his mouth in the night and sugar into everything he eats...

KenLeeeeeee · 03/02/2013 20:11

D0oin please forgive the stalkerishness, but I've just had a read of some of your previous threads about this total wankbadgercuntmuffin your husband, and I honestly don't know what I want to do first - scoop you, the kids, your cat & dog up into a huge hug & give you all a lovely house away from this foul man, or grab you by the shoulders & shake you silly for not leaving months, if not years ago.

He is truly hideous & his behaviour is appalling. He absolutely should be embarrassed, not by a hole in a pair of tights but by his own mindnumbing twattery.

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest his armpits.

FannyFifer · 03/02/2013 20:34

Did they come home?

Original poster
D0oinMeCleanin · 03/02/2013 20:37

Yes, just in time to be too late to go.

Dd1 is now sobbing "But I didn't do anything wrong" in bed Sad

Apparently she has been asking to come home for ages and didn't want to go in the first place. He has succeeded in ruining everyone's night but his. Just what he wanted no doubt.

OP posts:
Flisspaps · 03/02/2013 20:44

Utter, utter prick. Poor DD Sad

IneedAsockamnesty · 03/02/2013 20:53

I would surgest that your DH has very little self respect and esteem as he obviously cares far to much about what other people think about him to the extent that he's willing to be nasty.

Sounds like he's either a wanker or needs a bit of therapy

Flisspaps · 03/02/2013 20:58

Actually, I think he's a hypocrite.

He was whinging about what other people would think about DD having a hole in her tights, yet doesn't care what other people think about him forcing his DD to stay at an event she didn't want to be at, ignoring her pleas to leave to go to another pre-arranged thing and then making her so upset that she's crying?

ShellyBoobs · 03/02/2013 20:59

Bloody hell DOoin. I don't know what else to say. Sad

My OH just asked why I've got a tear in my eye.

idshagphilspencer · 03/02/2013 21:04

OP you know what people will say about your OH before you post I'm sure. You had a thread just before Christmas and several before that. Is this the childhood you want for your DC's?

TheSecondComing · 03/02/2013 21:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IneedAsockamnesty · 03/02/2013 21:11

I've just read the last few pages, I haven't searched for your other threads so forgive me if I'm off the mark but those who have certainly think you have good cause for concern.

There does not have to be physical violence or threats of violence to get a temp occupation order so he has to leave until you get housed elsewhere it sounds like there is a lot of bullying going on of you and your kids, you could get legal advice and ask directly about forcing him to go obviously he gets to co,e back and keep his house after you have moved.

idshagphilspencer · 03/02/2013 21:12

Why do you let this situation persist OP?

Original poster
D0oinMeCleanin · 03/02/2013 21:21

TSC I am on the waiting list for a council house. I cannot just magic up a house from nowhere. I am not willing to kill my dog and force dd2 to give up her cat for the sake of waiting for a house.

I will look into the occupation order. I had never heard of that before.

OP posts:
idshagphilspencer · 03/02/2013 21:23

ah well so long as the dog and the cat are alright that's ok then.....

KatyTheCleaningLady · 03/02/2013 21:29

I'd set a fucking cat and dog on FIRE before I'd let my children suffer emotional abuse.

According to what other people on this thread are saying, you have a long history of posting threads about what a cunt your husband is but not actually doing anything about it.

I'm sorry, at some point, you become part of the problem.

Original poster
D0oinMeCleanin · 03/02/2013 21:29

So what would you do idshag? Bearing in mind you have no access to any substantial amount of money?

What would you do with the cat and dog?

Where should I go and how do I get there, if not for the council house option?

OP posts:
Original poster
D0oinMeCleanin · 03/02/2013 21:29

I AM ON A WAITING LIST TO BE REHOUSED.

If that is not doing something then fuck knows what is! FGS.

OP posts:
SolomanDaisy · 03/02/2013 21:32

It's not for the sake of waiting for a house, it's at the sacrifice of your children's happiness and future mental health.

KatyTheCleaningLady · 03/02/2013 21:33

Why not call Women's Aid? They may be able to help you.

As for the animals, perhaps there is someone who can keep them for you for a while. Or, you may be able to take them with you. But sitting and waiting for a council house to come up isn't doing anything.

(Why would they give you a house? As far as they're concerned, you already have a home. This is something Women's Aid can probably help you with.)