To not want my DC to participate in nativity?

[Spru]

I asked school to excuse DC from nativity (due to religious reasons - we do not depict jesus/mary/joseph.) They were absolutely fine with it. Happened to mention this to work colleagues - and they basically told me that I wasn't willing to integrate!

I was a bit shocked that they saw it like this despite the fact that I explained why. I didn't realise that this decision was perceived as a lack of willingness to integrate - in a country which I have been born and brought up in.

I had to bite my tongue for the sake of peace!

So...MN jury... AIBU to exclude DC from nativity for religious reasons (note: DC is not excluded from other christmas activities at school). Am I just not integrating well into the society that I was born and brought up in?

TIA



(please be gentle)

[Brycie]

And I don't know if my faith would prohibit diwali or holi or doing the bits you do in various temples, a strict person might say so, in the "no other God" way, but I would think they were being a bit ridiculous too. It's generally quite an Anglican tendency to be rather flexible and tolerant though. This woman has the right to do whatever she wants; I think it's slightly ridiculous in a wry sort of way to make such a big deal out of it. I suppose that's why I think it's attention-seeking, the whole thing at work, the big old thread. It seems a bit over excitable.

[Brycie]

But why is being involved in the act prohibited? Soem Muslims think you can't depict human form, even though the rule is I think it's only Mohammed you can't depict. So it's very this way that way. Jihad is supposed to mean peace isn't it? But people interpret it differently. So yes she's free to interpret however she wants, but I would think that interpretation is a bit over-excitable.

[Sirzy]

She isn't making a big deal though, she is happy, the school is happy and more importantly her son is happy. She only asked the question because other people not involved in the scenario questioned her choice so she wanted to judge opinion.

I am not overly religious (I do attend church regularly though) but I certainly wouldn't feel comfy taking part in a religious ceremony of another faith. I respect other faiths and would join in celebrationary aspects if invited to do so but I wouldn't take part in a ceremony.

[Jinsei]

So she "has the right to do whatever she wants" but she is being ridiculous if she wants to do something of which you don't approve.

[Brycie]

Yes, I don't see the contradiction with that. People have the right to walk down the street in onesies though I don't approve and think it's ridiculous.

back atcha

[Brycie]

I don't really see why the school would be unhappy to be honest. Why do they care? Some mum coming up and saying I don't want my kid to be in the Nativity because of XYZ - what are they going to do - give him detention? Probably just relieved it's not another pushy going for Mary or Joseph.

[Jinsei]

Fair enough, you have a point. I think it's ridiculous when people are so narrow-minded and judgemental about other people's beliefs, but I suppose people have the right to be that way. :)

[Brycie]

Well when you see someone narrow minded and judgemental you go right ahead and think they're ridiculous

[IsaXMASbelleRinging]

We are not Hindu but I didn't stop my DC joining in at school with the Divali party they had a couple of weeks ago.

[Jinsei]

Oh, believe me, brycie, I do.

Isa, have you actually read the thread?

[Sirzy]

And the op wouldn't stop her child taking part in a Christmas party (or so it seems from what has been posted)

Yet again people are spectacularly missing the point!

[Brycie]

I'm afraid you don't here Jinsei: sorry to disappoint you although I think I'm beginning to.

[AmandaCooper]

OP mentally cross out every responses from those who haven't grasped what your talking about.

I haven't read all 25 pages. Perhaps by now you have sought opinions from others in your religious community about the compromise of your DC taking on the role of shepherd or inn keeper, I would see this as a good opportunity to develop my understanding of my faith. You also have a great opportunity to discuss your religion's beliefs about idolatry and images with your DC in a context they will understand. If you are not comfortable with them taking part, then have the courage of your convictions and pull them out. I can't imagine anyone but the professionally offended will care.

[Brycie]

Well that's a bit silly too and just confirms that all she wants is attention, affirmation and validation and not really opinions at all.

[Brycie]

I mean if it's that important to you why do you need validation?

[Brycie]

Maybe I didn't mean ridiculous. Op I don't think it's ridiculous really, I've found the right word now - I think it's a bit pompous. But that's not a criminal offence either

[ljny]

How is it pompous for a family to follow their religious beliefs?

Inconvenient, obviously, for the op and her children.

But hardly pompous!

[Brycie]

I don't know, maybe it's just the wording of it all, starting a thread on this particular board.

[Jinsei]

Or maybe you just don't get where she's coming from.

[Brycie]

I asked someone about this and they said, yes, she's within her rights to do this, fair enough. So I said that's your official answer? What's your unofficial answer? And the unofficial answer was an eye roll. Which sort of sums it up for me.

[RiaUnderTheMistletoe]

I think playing a non-prophet part would be like a vegetarian cooking meat but not eating it. Some vegetarians would be OK with it, I personally wouldn't. Some Muslims would be OK with supporting roles, the OP wouldn't. No big deal.

[GrrrArghZzzzYaayforall8nights]

Brycie - No I would not join in another group's celebration purely by living in that area, I would only join if I was directly invited by a person belonging to the group and ensured that it would cause no undue problems for them. The people that the celebration is important to should have first call and consideration.

Personally, I cringe when schools/groups do it without the people they're talking about's involvement - I have seen many traditions butchered and disgraced by people thinking 'it's just a party with extra bits' and end up with something that has no real ties to the original (and in more than a few cases, downright offensive to the people they're meant to be 'honouring'.)

The idea that people should just join in without regard and consideration for the group is ridiculous and thoughtless. That mindset is why the Mayan holy sites in Mexico are currently filled with pompous rich tourists and people looking for profit by ignorance, meaning the actual Mayans themselves are stuck in fields and parking lots.

It's incredibly pompous to believe that we should involve ourselves with everything just because we are here.

[Brycie]

Weissdorn - I KNOW isn't it AWFUL. Perhaps you should go on the religion boards and see what people say to Christians there. I think you might actually drop down in a dead faint.

Grrargh: yes I'm not actually suggesting gate-crashing someone's bar mitzvah. Sorry if I gave that impression.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

Grr have you been to Morocco? I like their theory. Look at the outside of mosques (and they are beautiful and many) but don't come in if you aren't Muslim. Keeps the places special for those for whom they are special.

My theory is that the OP is reasonable (and seasonable) because she is 'fitting in' where it is OK for her to do so (Secret Santa), not trying to change other people's traditions (not asking the school to ban Nativity) and keeping her traditions where she feels she must (not having her DC portray the prophets). I really fail to see how she could be more reasonable and still keep her integrity.