To not want my DC to participate in nativity?

[Spru]

I asked school to excuse DC from nativity (due to religious reasons - we do not depict jesus/mary/joseph.) They were absolutely fine with it. Happened to mention this to work colleagues - and they basically told me that I wasn't willing to integrate!

I was a bit shocked that they saw it like this despite the fact that I explained why. I didn't realise that this decision was perceived as a lack of willingness to integrate - in a country which I have been born and brought up in.

I had to bite my tongue for the sake of peace!

So...MN jury... AIBU to exclude DC from nativity for religious reasons (note: DC is not excluded from other christmas activities at school). Am I just not integrating well into the society that I was born and brought up in?

TIA

(please be gentle)

I get that Jinsei. I was thinking around the issue ITMS.

but would it really be such a bad thing if her son was in the play. Is it the idea that he is worshipping another God.

I am trying to understand this from a christian point of view.

I am in no way 'having a go' or accusing the OP of anything. She ASKED for opinions and I am asking what I think is a fair question. I have never said the OP has been anything but polite and pleasant, why on earth would I? What I can't understand is why people are getting so het up - or was everyone just supposed to back up the OP and not venture an opinion. In the event she is not being obliged to do anything she feels is against her religious beliefs and has said that the school has been very accommodating, so it is not as though she is being persecuted or made to feel bad, so I guess she is genuinely inviting views so don't understany why people are getting so indignant on her behalf.

No, it isn't the idea of him worshipping another god that is problematic.

The issue is that Jesus is a prophet in Islam. Many Muslims believe that it is wrong/disrespectful to depict the prophets in pictures or in drama etc. The OP would therefore be equally concerned about letting her dc perform in a play about Mohammed. A play about Ram and Sita, on the other hand, would probably be fine because Islam does not recognise them as having any religious significance.

If Islam did not view Jesus as a significant figure who was worthy of respect, there would be no issue with the dc participating in the nativity. The OP is merely showing respect for Jesus as dictated by the rules of her faith.

chatty, I don't think the OP or anyone else has a problem with people disagreeing with the OP's stance, but it is frustrating that so many people appear to have missed the point, and their comments are therefore based on a huge misunderstanding of the issues!

I am a conservative evangelical Christian.

I don't see the problem with the OP's stance. She believes that you shouldn't represent the prophets in Islam. Jesus, Mary and Joseph are seen as prophets therefore, even though I don't agree with her stance, I can see her logic.

There is nothing inconsistent about thinking this and also 'celebrating' aspects of Christmas.

thanks Jinsei :)

Chatty: I think telling someone it 'works both ways' and "perhaps she could go along with the diversity and join in a little more? " to someone who joins in every other aspect of Christmas is having a go. You are saying, in effect, that she is NOT going along with diversity, or making inay two- way concessions.

Of course you can offer an opinion, but in what way is she not going along with diversity when she joins in every other Christmas custom, but observes her religious belief that representing Jesus (a prophet) by acting os not allowed?

so it is not as though she is being persecuted or made to feel bad - yes she is - she has been told she is not making an effort to "integrate" by her work colleagues which is a ludicrous thing to say to someone born and living in this country.

I would be extremely cross if someone told me that as an atheist not allowing DS to pray is not integrating into society. You do not need to do what the majority do in order to be a part of our society these days, do you? Surely we've moved past that!

As a vegetarian, I wonder if I should "integrate" more by eating turkey at Christmas? It may be at odds with my morals and values, but if it is so important to conform...? And after all, it's only a dead bird.

absolutely Jinsei. Start chomping.

It's only a turkey at that Jinsei barely more sentient than a sprout. Munch away.

I think some of us feel that the scary vitriol might be just a smooch because of how people feel about Islam, rather than how they feel about the Nativity or Christmas. Could this be the case?

I agree MrsTP. The vitriol isn't just about the nativity. :(

I'd better go and place an order for that Turkey!

I've been told not eating people's lives food is rude jinsei. I apparently offering a vegetarian meat is just being hospitable, though

but would it really be such a bad thing if her son was in the play. Is it the idea that he is worshipping another God.

that is like saying it is only a bacon roll, it is about portraying phrophets it isn't allowed, it really isn't difficult honestly

if the OP son went into say musical theatre he couldn't play jesus in jesus christ superstar thats the gist of the whole thing ,

Since OP's DC won't be bothered at the moment-never having experienced a school production and therefore having no idea of the excitement engendered at the end-perhaps she can come back and tell us how he felt when the whole rest of the school watched and how he felt when all the parents and rest of the audience turned up. I would be interested to know what he was doing instead and who he was with.

Nativities are usually in the evening aren't they? Why would the OP's dc be there?

Not at the age he is-he needs to be in bed-even if it is they will have performances in the afternoon.

I think that people like OP ought to have an up to date understanding of how they work before they says that their DC 'isn't bothered' when the DC has no idea until later!

DC currently either does arts and craft or helps with a different class during rehearsals - happily, i may add! When it comes to nativity, I am sure the teachers will have found something else to keep him busy with.

Our schools do a great job of making kids feel comfortable and feel included.

You have said it yourself, DC has never been involved in a nativity, so it is not something that he is bothered about. Just like he is not bothered about the rest of the class having haribo sweets and he quite happily hands his over to a friend or hands them to me when i pick him up from school.

DC has been raised to feel secure and comfortable about the 'differences' and in fact a proud moment for me was when DC was doing some colouring with the rest of the class and he could choose a christmas theme picture to colour. He declined the picture of A nativity scene and said that he does not want to colour mary and jesus as he is muslim and 'we dont colour jesus'. Teacher told me that he then happily took the picture of santa claus to colour.

Note: i was not aware of the picture thing: DC did it off his own back.

And now i await messages telling me that i must be putting fear in him as a child would otherwise never give up his haribos!

Muslims don't have to eat Haribos? I'm converting.

OP, my little proud moment recently was when my dd forbid me from buying haribos and made me get chocolate buttons instead "because they're not halal and the Muslim children can't share them."