Regarding DDs twunt of a father
He has put no effort in with DD and just likes to scream at me.
As I refused to drive DD around the country today he hasn't seen her but he says he isn't missing anything. I'm just a bitch but his maintainence wouldn't even get me to and from what her wants!
He wants her all weekend next weekend . Am I being unreasonable to say no?
DD doesn't know him, yet he says she doesn't know me.
He's never changed a nappy and he isn't very good with her and to be frank I don't trust him.
I'm so upset on Dd's behalf. She doesn't deserve this and he doesn't realise you don't get these days back.
His time off is precious apparently, he wants it to himself sometimes. I don't ever get time off but apparently this is what I wanted.
AIBU to be sad for DD?
AIBU to stop him seeing DD until he steps up?
AIBU for being so angry 
AIBU?
Regarding contact
Pickles77 · 25/11/2012 15:23
Yes, I get the family envy. And in the back of my mind I can't help but wonder how many months/years until he does a runner 
I think when you have been treated so badly through something that is meant to be such an emotional and happy time of any woman's life, it is going to take a lot to have a balanced view on it for other people. I say balanced, but secretly believe I am right (see?) 
I let him back after he initially left and endured 6 months of his crap. He was never happy and tried to spoil everything. He insulted my dad more than once, tried to spoil friendships, got so drunk he damaged a lot of my property and all the while emotionally abused me into thinking I was useless, boring and stupid. I hit rock bottom trying to keep it together, make that family. All it did was prolong the agony and make me weaker and sadder than I have ever been before. I don't have my mum any more, but I like to think she would have talked sense into me long before I let him back in my home to live with us.
Cherish what you have and don't risk your sanity or happiness for this man.
Let him stomp and fume. You don't need a father figure like that for your precious DD.
I think we all get jealous of something. I go 
everytime there's one of those "my MIL comes into my house and does all the cooking / cleaning and wants to look after my child all the time" threads. My MIL was fab, but died before we had children. We don't really have any support from family. There's always something.
Hope BabyPickles is a bit better this morning. It's horrid when they're ill at that age. They look at you with the sad face, expecting you to be able to make it all better!
It's normal to feel at times. I am happy for my sister that she is expecting her first baby in two months and happy for my brother, who has bought his first property with his girlfriend recently. But I am also a bit , as 7 weeks before I found out he was leaving me for an O.W., I was talking about trying for another baby and seeing if we could finally get a mortgage... It's only human, pickles.
Very normal Pickles, of your ex and new g/friend? and 
because of situation?
If yes to any of the above believe me he will not have changed over night with a new g/friend. I detest my ex but somewhere deep way down inside I become thinking of 'what we could have had' and occasionally 'did have'.
In reality he is an abuser, abusing his new g/friends, all her and his latest child are in care because of him.
Believe me it sounds as though you are better off out of this relationship, you will greave for him I did and still do, I was with my dcs erm... sperm donor for over 15 years, so I have a few memories, nice ones, but together we were awful and I am happier now than I was anytime I was with him, and so are my dc, you will be one day too, promise. It does get easier in time, have you thought about counselling?
Final is scary, but it also means a new start.
Had 2 glasses of 
tonight (and I never drink alone!) because I had a letter from Court re our tribunal next week - his 'evidence' from his father. Very spiteful stuff, saying I am mentally troubled 
poisonous, and have been harassing his son . Also I have tried to make more out of our relationship than there was an took advantage of ex! Been through a lot of 
today. Have decided to go to docs to ask for counselling myself on Monday as I have managed, just, without but this is just too much. I feel hunted, hated and he is making me doubt myself all over again.
Sorry, didn't mean to hijack your post, but these men sound all the same. They pop up angry, make you feel crap, blame you for everything and think you should do their bidding whenever it suits them. The fact I have never even met ex's dad (lives abroad) makes it worse as he is clearly going on what his son is saying. At least you know your ex's mum is decent and may help.
I wish he had never made us go through all of this and would just be a decent human being and pay for his child. There it is though, you WANT them to do the right thing, but they never cease to amaze you at how far they will go to be the opposite!
Don't fall for his Nice Twat persona Pickles!
Remember how he's treated you and Mini Pickle.
Stay strong. 
Dear Pickles, skimmed your thread so not sure totally of where you are at. But do talk to HV as well as GP, see if there are baby groups near you - even the smily happy sorts (NCT) might be able to point you in direction of more support for yourself.
Try Gingerbread or other single parents sites. Also, please, please find out if a local WA centre or similar near you and also Freedom Programme.
I was with abusive ex when my DS was tiny, it was hell and isolated and all sorts of crap. But now I've got lots of little bits of different support and it's brilliant.
You and mini pickle are doing fine, give yourself a star or note down one good thing you achieved each day. Sounds stupid, but it can work - anything from did the washing up or managed to wash the clothes and hang them up in the morning or had a lovely cup of coffee. Concentrate on the good stuff. Keep posting, the power of MN is with you. 
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