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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

standing in a car parking space

116 replies

carlyjamesb · 21/10/2012 17:51

Hi all, i was a member here ages and ages ago and haven't got a clue what my details were so had to join again. Just wanted a rant and a bit of tlc and some input really.
Anyway, we were out today. Had to pop into boots and tesco for some last minute urgent stuff, nappies, milk, etc. The car park was pretty full and then a space suddenly became available. So, I got out of the car and stood there whilst my sister tried to reverse in. A car was righ behind her so she had to wait for him to reverse too. All the while Im stood there. Then before she has a chance to reverse in, the driver from the other side drives straight in, knowing full well that I'm stood there and just continues driving into me. Edging forward even though I'm there. I stood in shock and was shoved a lttle but he still continued until I was out of the way. Now, I'm asian and he was a white guy with his mrs - probably middle aged. He just got out of the car and went to the shop. His mrs just sat there and then piped up 'well you can't really stand there in a spot'. I said my sister's right behind you.
I think I was in shock more than anything, the mood I'm in now I could've battered him. Argghhhh! Now, I bet that he would't have done that if it was a strapping 6 foot guy.
I don't know bt U feel really upset. I've never really experienced racism before. Never really. And then this. And honestly, I started to think 'all white people are the same', until i pulled myself together and started to rationalise it. Still upset by it and bloody annoyed wth myself for not having caused a scene there and then or called the police. After all, driving into someone and actually pushing me.
What would you have done? Think?

OP posts:
CaroleService · 21/10/2012 17:53

Why was it racist? Am I missing something?

He shouldn't have driven into you though.

StillIRise · 21/10/2012 17:54

YABU. Its simply not the done thing to jump out and nab spaces for someone further back in the queue.

Sparklingbrook · 21/10/2012 17:55

This has nothing to do with anything other than the driver being a dangerous arse. If the car touched you you should report to the police.

StillIRise · 21/10/2012 17:55

Its got fuck all to do with racism.

Excrpt your racist comment.

BadgersBottom · 21/10/2012 17:56

He was very unreasonable but how do you get racism from this issue?can you explain?

FannyFifer · 21/10/2012 17:56

How on earth is this racist?

Floggingmolly · 21/10/2012 17:56

I said my sister's right behind you
I'm confused. The driver was in front of your sisters car and you wanted him to make way for her?

HeinousHecate · 21/10/2012 17:56

Are you suggesting that the reason he parked in the space while you were standing there was because you are not white and he was?

Really?

You don't think that he's just an arse and would have done the same to anyone?

I would suggest that your gender has more to do with it than your ethnicity. I bet if you were a bloke, he wouldn't have done it.

And yes, you should have called the police if you were injured.

I assume you were standing there in order to guide your sister into the space and not to save it while she drove round to it?

McHappyPants2012 · 21/10/2012 17:58

My husband would of blocked the space, you can not reserve a parking spot when there are people waiting.

Infact I would say you are the racist one for thinking all white people are the same

sooperdooper · 21/10/2012 17:59

The car drove in from the other side - he wasn't behind her sister

It wasn't racist, just rude and he shouldn't have driven towards you

StillIRise · 21/10/2012 17:59

Sister had to reverse back. Person behind sister would have had to reverse back too. Therefore you missed the space.

Pixieonthemoor · 21/10/2012 17:59

Oh get over yourself. This has nothing to do with racism and everything to do with the fact that (rightly or wrongly) they thought you were unfairly bagging a parking space.

ledkr · 21/10/2012 17:59

Eh? What on earth did that have to do with race?

chipsandmushypeas · 21/10/2012 18:00

You can't do that, I would've told you to do one too.

Also, it wasn't racist.

Sparklingbrook · 21/10/2012 18:01

I am a bit confused now. Were you standing in the space saving it or just jumped out to guide your sister while she reversed in?

But all the same he was an arse.

IslaValargeone · 21/10/2012 18:02

Is this a case of the pot calling the kettle black?

WitchesTit · 21/10/2012 18:02

I get it. Your sis was reversing into the space and the car behind was forwarding into the same space. But you were standing in it to help your sis reverse.

It's the law of the busy car park I'm afraid, it's happened to most people where someone has gone past the space to reverse and the car behind hasn't understood and thinks they can forward into it.

You reckon these people were racist because they tried to get into the space while you were standing there. I wasn't there so I couldn't witness if they had looks of sheer hatred and determination to mow down an innocent Asian on their faces....but I suspect they just wanted a space.

Viewofthehills · 21/10/2012 18:03

What makes you think this is racist?

It is very pushy,aggressive, possibly assault, certainly size-ist, but not racist as I think he would probably just as easily done this to anyone smaller than him.

And you think you thinking 'all white people are the same', isn't racist?

Personally I think once you have driven past a space it is tough, you have missed it. Annoying, but that's how it is. So I think you were wrong to stand in the space.

However, he sound awful, so you have my sympathy for that.

KenandDeirdre · 21/10/2012 18:03

Why on earth would you immediately assume this was racism?!! Yes the guy was a complete dangerous idiot - but who hasn't come across people like this? My husband is a strapping 6 foot white guy but he has also been on the receiving end of reckless driving from time to time. Show me someone who hasn't! Sorry - YABU to automatically assume it was racism. Get a grip of yourself. YANBU to be annoyed with him for driving into you. Of course this was a ridiculous thing to do.

However, not a great idea to stand in the middle of a parking space in a busy area!!

BellaVita · 21/10/2012 18:03

YABU.

Original poster
carlyjamesb · 21/10/2012 18:03

She was coming into the space, reversing the car. But went forward to do so. The driver behind her saw her reverse lights come on so he reverse back to allow her in. This driver was on the other side, saw the gap before my sister had a chance to reverse in and went in. I didn;t get out and nab a space. It was there and I was waiting for her to reverse in, help her so she didn't hit anything.
I guess, the racist thing comes in because automatically he was white and I was asian. I've had arguments with people of all nationalities in my life at some point, but this was just alot different. It just felt it. But perhaps I'm wrong. His mrs did apologise and she came across as much different to him.
Yes sparklingbrook, I think I'm more pissed off with myself for not calling the police than anything.
StillIrise, how d you know that it has nothing to do with racism?
I had an automatic response, but it's true, everyone has the same reaction.

OP posts:
waltermittymissus · 21/10/2012 18:04

Driving his car into you is a bit extreme but I'm confused, where was he coming from?

Also, I don't appreciate your racist remark about all white people being the same.

If I said 'I'm not surprised you stood in that space, all Asians are the same: completely inconsiderate' it wouldn't be very pleasant would it?

I don't know where you get off throwing around your racism because some arsehole carried on in a car park!

eurowitch · 21/10/2012 18:05

There was no racism. He shouldn't have nudged you with the car (stupid and dangerous) but you were completely unreasonable to have stood in the space to try to reserve it.

FAOD, this comment would apply whether you were black, white , purple or sky blue pink.

HeinousHecate · 21/10/2012 18:06

In fairness, you do have to drive past a spot in order to reverse into it.

I always reverse into parking spots. This involves slowing down, indicating, moving past the spot, putting my reverse lights on and going backwards into it.

I would be mightily pissed off if when in the middle of that, some plank swept in.

But there is nothing in the OP that suggests it is in any way reasonable to believe that the person did this because of the colour of the person standing in the spot. That's honestly verging on paranoid.

Flisspaps · 21/10/2012 18:07

Why does your sister need you to guide her into the space anyway, surely if she's able to drive, she should be able to reverse the car into a space without a guide? What would she do if you weren't there?

YABU anyway, this is nothing to do with racism, when it comes to parking spaces it's ultimately which car gets into the space quicker, not who has someone in the space to bagsy guide them into it.