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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

standing in a car parking space

116 replies

carlyjamesb · 21/10/2012 17:51

Hi all, i was a member here ages and ages ago and haven't got a clue what my details were so had to join again. Just wanted a rant and a bit of tlc and some input really.
Anyway, we were out today. Had to pop into boots and tesco for some last minute urgent stuff, nappies, milk, etc. The car park was pretty full and then a space suddenly became available. So, I got out of the car and stood there whilst my sister tried to reverse in. A car was righ behind her so she had to wait for him to reverse too. All the while Im stood there. Then before she has a chance to reverse in, the driver from the other side drives straight in, knowing full well that I'm stood there and just continues driving into me. Edging forward even though I'm there. I stood in shock and was shoved a lttle but he still continued until I was out of the way. Now, I'm asian and he was a white guy with his mrs - probably middle aged. He just got out of the car and went to the shop. His mrs just sat there and then piped up 'well you can't really stand there in a spot'. I said my sister's right behind you.
I think I was in shock more than anything, the mood I'm in now I could've battered him. Argghhhh! Now, I bet that he would't have done that if it was a strapping 6 foot guy.
I don't know bt U feel really upset. I've never really experienced racism before. Never really. And then this. And honestly, I started to think 'all white people are the same', until i pulled myself together and started to rationalise it. Still upset by it and bloody annoyed wth myself for not having caused a scene there and then or called the police. After all, driving into someone and actually pushing me.
What would you have done? Think?

OP posts:

Original poster

carlyjamesb · 21/10/2012 18:07

Yes, you know what. Thanks everyone. I think I had the victim mentality going on there. I'm glad I logged on to here. It was probably that he was sme idiot who thought stupid girl and get in there first.
I guess I was looking at it from my own perspective and knew I wouldn't do that.
That's what i like about this place. You're all cows at time rotfl but you say it how it is

OP posts:

KateSpade · 21/10/2012 18:07

I hate it when people play the race card!

Attitudes like yours are what's wrong with the world!

Original poster

carlyjamesb · 21/10/2012 18:07

BTW what does YABU mean?

OP posts:

zookeeper · 21/10/2012 18:08

but aren't you the racist one??

Floggingmolly · 21/10/2012 18:08

I'm still confused. If you were guiding your sister into the space, and the driver came in from the other side - why did you tell him "My sister's just behind you"? It does sound like you we're trying to bag the space he was first in line for?

BeingBooyhoo · 21/10/2012 18:08

nope, still dont get how it was racist. you appear to be though.

McHappyPants2012 · 21/10/2012 18:09

Perhaps your sister needs to learn to park, I don't mean it to sound nasty but someone with a licence should be able to park the car without the need for someone guiding them in 'incase she hits something'

StillIRise · 21/10/2012 18:09

Let that be a lesson to you for attempting to escape the mn clutches.

lunar1 · 21/10/2012 18:10

You are coming across as very racist, if you were white posting this as against any other group you would be called racist and the thread probably pulled.

HeinousHecate · 21/10/2012 18:10

It means You Are Being Unreasonable.

Brace yourself though, for the posts carving bits off you. People who haven't read your post where you accept you have been totally unreasonable.

Original poster

carlyjamesb · 21/10/2012 18:11

Oh goodness where was playing the race card? I'd hardly be on here if I was playing the race card, I'd be in some mosque or temple smewhere lol.
Get a grip. I'm the first to say I'm more British than my 'culture'. I have loyalty to a country that's been my home all my life.
In all honesty though I think a big part of me did automatically think it was because I was coloured. Thanks for all those who pointed out that its jsut the laws of parking and not personal. I think I'm just having a few down times lately.

OP posts:

IslaValargeone · 21/10/2012 18:14

If you were playing the race card you'd be in a mosque or temple? Eh?

BeingBooyhoo · 21/10/2012 18:15

saying you think he did it because you are asian and he is white when there is absoloutely no evidence of that is playing the race card. i'm really confused as to how you cant see this.

CelineMcBean · 21/10/2012 18:15

BeingBooyhoo · 21/10/2012 18:16

and being british is nothing to do with race. it's your nationality.

JustFabulous · 21/10/2012 18:17

"I had an automatic response, but it's true, everyone has the same reaction."

No, not everyone would have assumed a person of the opposite colour was being racist .

PMSL at "What does YABU mean?" when you have posted in AIBU and you are an old member.

I think you are being the racist one here, OP.

You have changed your mind about the wife I see.

Original poster

carlyjamesb · 21/10/2012 18:18

Funnily enough, it helps me feel alot better knowing that I was being YABU (unreasonable)! I'm actually laughing now. So thanks to you all.
And not that it's a big deal, but believe me, I'm the last person to be racist.
But damn, it's scary though how I automatically jumped to that conclusion.
And for the record, if some white girl had been mugged by a black guy, I'd think it was normal for her to be temporarily pissed off with black people. Read the word temporarily - its when people continue to be irrational, without someone to say, no you're wrong, that it becomes a problem. Anyay, muppet driver, hope his car gets scratched.
Wow, I didnt realise thats what it was like with parking spaces. Glad I dont drive anymore.

OP posts:

BeingBooyhoo · 21/10/2012 18:18

and mosques and temples are buildings for people belonging to certain religions to worship in, not for people of certain races to go and be asian/white/black/mixed race in.

beitou · 21/10/2012 18:20

Yes you are a bigot with a sense of entitlement to parking spaces. As you are so British why not join the BNP.

BeingBooyhoo · 21/10/2012 18:20

" if some white girl had been mugged by a black guy, I'd think it was normal for her to be temporarily pissed off with black people."

so if a black person gets mugged by a black person do they then become temporarily pissed off with all black people?

you are an idiot.

Original poster

carlyjamesb · 21/10/2012 18:21

Islavalargeone I don't go to the mosque or temples. I was saying it tongue in cheek. As in joke.

Just Fabulous - no the wife seemed annoyed with the guy and was telling him not to drive in. But then she said, what you all said, that that's what you do in a car park. It makes sense now when I know those are the unwritten rules, thanks to you all.

OP posts:

HeinousHecate · 21/10/2012 18:21

Would you? What about a white person mugged by a white person. Would you expect them to temporarily be pissed off with white people?

See I don't think it's ever reasonable or understandable to be pissed off with everyone from any group because of the actions of one person who happens to be a member of that group.

I once got a mouthful of abuse off a blonde woman. I didn't hate blonde people as a result of that. Even for a bit. Just her.

In all honesty and without having a go at you, I really think you need to challenge yourself on this. It's not rational or reasonable.

IslaValargeone · 21/10/2012 18:23

No love, you completely missed the point about playing the race card.
The Mosque comment was nonsense.

BeingBooyhoo · 21/10/2012 18:25

a child kicked my cat once so i hated all children for about 6 months

a woman on crutches swore at me in the post office once so i hated all people on crutches for a bit

a gay person crashed into my garden wall once so i hated all gay people until my wall was fixed.

Original poster

carlyjamesb · 21/10/2012 18:26

beityou - why would join the BNP? Kinda illogical jump?

Beingbooyhoo, I think we can agree to disagree. I think everyone's entitled to their opinions, I may think racists are wrong but I still think they're entitled to their opinions. I'm struggling to understand how I am an idiot? An idiot would be someone who fails to listen or understand. No? I've realised that I was wrong to think it was a racist thing. How am I an idiot? And yes, if I was assaulted by a white person or a black person or a chinese person or an alien I would at that point be unreasonable. I'm pretty sure you're not so tolerant of every single person on this planet.

OP posts:

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