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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Which toilets a F to M transgender student should use

191 replies

WongaDotMom · 18/10/2012 17:27

DH teaches at an FE college. One of his new students this year is transgender (female to male)
All staff and students are aware of his transgender status. (Not sure about any ops or medications, will ask DH when he gets home)

The student wishes to use the male toilets. Staff had a meeting regarding this issue, trying to avoid any issues with the male students using the toilets at the same time, and decided that the student should NOT use the male toilets, but allocated him use of the disabled toilet instead.

He was offended by this suggestion, as he does not have a disability, and is taking a stance by walking the 10 minute journey to public toilets in town where he can use the male facilities without discrimination.

I think the college should allow him use of the male facilities, DH disagrees, so I am putting it out for the MN jury to decide.

Who is BU?

OP posts:
iMum · 18/10/2012 17:29

male

tnh id have no qualms using the mens loo in an emergency

GeordieCherry · 18/10/2012 17:29

He identifies as male so should be allowed to use the male toilets. He's right, he doesn't have a disability. Hope it works out soon

threesocksonathreeleggedwitch · 18/10/2012 17:30

well I don't think he should use the disabled toilets as he isn't disabled.
so I suppose the male ones imo so yanbu

cakeandcava · 18/10/2012 17:30

The college is being VVU. I agree with you -the student should be allowed to use the male toilets -he identifies as male, he is male. What exactly is their problem?

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles · 18/10/2012 17:31

The one which makes him feel most comfortable.

Sirzy · 18/10/2012 17:31

I think if he is living as a male then he should be able to use the male facilities.

I was uncomfortable when a Male to female transgender colleague was getting changed in the communal changing room when I was at work once but that was MY problem not hers (in my defence I was only young, now it wouldn't bother me at all)

squoosh · 18/10/2012 17:31

He should be able to use the male toilets. Presumably no surgery has yet taken place so still needs to use a cubicle to pee. I don't see why anyone else would be offended.

We have unisex toilets where I work and it works just fine.

ordinarygull · 18/10/2012 17:32

I had a friend who was pre op male to female, and when we went out she always went in the ladies, although she told me that strictly speaking she was by law still male and should have used the gents.

I think the college should allow him use of the gents - if he's pre op he'll be in a cubicle anyway, not using the urinals I imagine!

Not really something that people need to get bothered about is it?

chrisrobin · 18/10/2012 17:32

He should be allowed to use the Male toilet. I can't really see why the college would have a problem with it tbh.

IneedAsockamnesty · 18/10/2012 17:36

im pretty sure that if he is living as a man then he is legally protected and as such has the legal right to use male facilities such as loo's.

kim147 · 18/10/2012 17:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ZombTEE · 18/10/2012 17:42

Male toilets. He is a man.

This shouldn't even be an issue in 2012. It makes me ill that there's even a question about it.

Pickles101 · 18/10/2012 17:43

Agree with everyone else, he should be allowed to use the mens loos.

Petsinmyputridpudenda · 18/10/2012 17:44

Male. And it really shouldn't be a meeting worthy issue in this day and age Hmm

FolkGhoul · 18/10/2012 17:44

Male toilets FFS!

Blimey, they had a meeting about this?!

MrsTerryPratchett · 18/10/2012 17:45

Whichever ones he chooses. In this case male.

Why we don't have unisex toilets, I'll never know. Wherever they've had them, it's worked for me.

WelshMaenad · 18/10/2012 17:47

I don't blame him for making a stand. The college are being VVVU and discriminatory,

xkcdfangirl · 18/10/2012 17:47

From a discrimination legisation point of view, this is exactly equivalent to making a gay male student use the disabled loos because straight men didn't feel comfortable sharing the facilities with him. It is sickeningly offensive and he is quite right to be objecting - he should be sueing the bastards.

Petsinmyputridpudenda · 18/10/2012 17:48

Indeed welsh, I would of been screaming discrimination and encouraging him to sue if I knew him. Poor guy

SelfRighteousPrissyPants · 18/10/2012 17:49

I knew someone who was F-M and used the womens as he didn't want to make people uncomfortable but but was supposed to use the mens as you have to live like a man pre-op.

DunderMifflin · 18/10/2012 17:49

Male - you'd think a college would be more forward thinking about this! On what grounds are the men objecting?

Hesterton · 18/10/2012 17:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JasperStreet · 18/10/2012 17:51

Poor thing, I hope the issue gets resolved soon. He should use whichever toilets he wants.

shewhowines · 18/10/2012 17:54

male

McHappyPants2012 · 18/10/2012 18:00

Males toilet.

I couldn't give a damn about unisex toilets, when you need to go you need to go. However a lot of people may feel uncomfortable with public unisex toilets

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