Which toilets a F to M transgender student should use

[WongaDotMom]

DH teaches at an FE college. One of his new students this year is transgender (female to male)
All staff and students are aware of his transgender status. (Not sure about any ops or medications, will ask DH when he gets home)

The student wishes to use the male toilets. Staff had a meeting regarding this issue, trying to avoid any issues with the male students using the toilets at the same time, and decided that the student should NOT use the male toilets, but allocated him use of the disabled toilet instead.

He was offended by this suggestion, as he does not have a disability, and is taking a stance by walking the 10 minute journey to public toilets in town where he can use the male facilities without discrimination.

I think the college should allow him use of the male facilities, DH disagrees, so I am putting it out for the MN jury to decide.

Who is BU?

Er, yes Kim. Of course.

I think a male to female trans person would course less issues as the female loos are completely private. In my 28 years as a woman I have never seen so much as a boobies in the female loos where ad I accidentally walked into the men's loos (in a foreign country so I couldn't read the sign) and saw lots of penises (not that I was looking)

Sorry but what is FWR?

FWIW - I've got no problem who uses the same loos as me

And no I wouldn't have any issue if it was the other way round. Why on earth should it matter?

This is utterly fucking ridiculous that this even became an issue to begin with.

He is male. He uses the male toilets. End of debate. That's all that needed to be said.

Plus I think you'll find teenagers (etc) are a lot more tolerant and nonchalant than these so-called adults are giving them credit for.

I think he should use the disabled toilets and every time he does a siren should go off with a warning voice that says "Danger! There is a transsexual in this toilet!", and the building evacuated until he's finished.

The college is being very illegal.

Gobsmacked that this is even an issue. Male, obviously.

I've just been on transgender training through my work and agree with what's been said about the legal side of it, it is against the law to insist he has to use the disabled toilets. Also for the person who asked, it makes no odds at all if they are pre/post or not planning surgery, the fact that they are living as a man is enough.
Also, if they were planning a surgical procedure or even hormone treatments, agreeing to use the disabled toilets may affect their treatment. People who want gender reassignment surgery have to live as a 'traditional' man or woman. Men are questioned if they choose to have longish hair, piercings are frowned on and woman are expected to wear full make up and dresses or skirts every day, no slobbing about in trackies if you want people to think you 'deserve' to be a woman. Any action that you take which could be construed as you not being committed to the gender reassignment can be used to to prevent the treatment by the 'specialists'. Agreeing not to use the male toilets may well be considered in this way.

He should be using the male toilet, he is self-identifying as a male.

However, in an FE College, there are probably a number of toilets on different floors - surely 1 or more of these could be designated as "unisex", he is probably not the only transgendered, or asexual, or crossdressing student on campus!

Male - without a doubt!

Male. The college are being vvv unreasonable and discriminatory. He should be allowed to use whichever males him feel more comfortable, not what makes everyone else more comfortable.

If I was him I would sue. It is discrimination.

whatsinitfor you "People who want gender reassignment surgery have to live as a 'traditional' man or woman. Men are questioned if they choose to have longish hair, piercings are frowned on and woman are expected to wear full make up and dresses or skirts every day, no slobbing about in trackies if you want people to think you 'deserve' to be a woman. Any action that you take which could be construed as you not being committed to the gender reassignment can be used to to prevent the treatment by the 'specialists'."

That's not exactly true - it might have been true 20 years ago but gender identity clinics are a lot more aware these days. MTFs can even wear jeans, tops and flats. They don't even have to wear full make up.

whatsforyou - exactly what I was going to say (but much better put!).

It makes not a jot of difference if the person is undergoing medical treatment or not. Permanent and sustained change - I believe this is the phrase.

Also, unless the college had express permission to discuss this at a meeting, they are also breaking the law here as well.

This has been very badly handled indeed.

woman are expected to wear full make up and dresses or skirts every day I don't see why they would, most women don't. However, I have only worked recently with two F - M men so I may be out of the loop. Can't say that anyone cared or noticed where they went to the toilet. I am struggling to remember if I ever noticed. We certainly didn't have a meeting about their wee wee

Male loos,

I think that the collage may need to get legal advice as I don't think they have made the right decision legally, the student may have a case against them.

As for using the disability loo, well that is totally out of order, both to the people who have no other choice to use the disabled loo and to this individual who has had this been offered as their only option.

were there any adults at this meeting?

It maybe depends on where you are enimmead. The training I was on was only a couple of weeks ago and there was experiences from people who had undergone gender reassignment and hormone treatment and there experiences were quite recent. There was one young man who was maybe in his twenties who said he had to choose between getting his hormones and cutting his hair, or keeping his 'rock star' locks and going without treatment.
I suppose it depends what specialist you have, some will be more 'clued up' and some still behaving like its the eighties.

He should use the male toilets. He is not disabled, he is transgender FFS. If anyone attacks or otherwise threatens him while using the male toilets that's a crime and should be reported as such, not pandered to.