Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To be deeply puzzled by competitive anti- feminism.......

679 replies

seeker · 21/09/2012 09:13

"I'm not a feminist"

"oh, I'm so much less of a feminist than you are"

"I'm so not a femynyst I don't even know how to spell it"

OP posts:
LydiasMiletus · 21/09/2012 09:15

I can safely say I haven't come across this. Even though I consider myself a humanist and not feminist.
However I am sure you, seeker, have loads of examples that fit your agenda.

Petsinmypudenda · 21/09/2012 09:15

I'm way less of a feminist than you, I have no pubic hair.

butisthismyname · 21/09/2012 09:16

Well I'm so not a feminist that when my car didn't start I cried and said to the nice man 'can you mend my baby?' Blush

WorraLiberty · 21/09/2012 09:16

Is it groundhog day?

butisthismyname · 21/09/2012 09:16

and I keep saying things like 'shall we get a man in?' [double blush]

aldiwhore · 21/09/2012 09:18

Then there's the other side of the coin.

I have found that you're damned by some whatever you refer to yourself as and much as I don't like the expression "this is why I am not a feminist", equally I loathe the expression "You cannot think like that".

If I say I consider myself a feminist, as a woman who cares about being treated fairly and with equal value to men there are always people further along with their reading and academic knowledge ready to tell me that I can't possibly be if I don't agree with their perhaps more extreme views.

There are many feminists on this forum who are academically up on their knowledge and buzz words who sometimes I wish to distance myself from, just like a middle of the road Christian would distance themselves from Puritans.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 21/09/2012 09:22

Why do you care, seeker? I'm puzzled (although not too much, really), why you seem to look for an excuse to tear up other women for what they think?

There's a feminist board here where I'm sure you have a captive audience. The constant posting on AIBU has me in mind of those zombie films, you know - where the zombies could feed off the others but they don't want to - they want 'fresh meat' all the time. Grin

DameSaggarmakersbottomknocker · 21/09/2012 09:27

I share the same opinion as aldiwhore. There may be competitive anti-feminism but equally there are others who feel it necessary to bare their feminist 'credentials' for want of a better word, in order to put other women down. Which is pretty counter-productive.

Original poster
seeker · 21/09/2012 09:27

Eh?

OP posts:
worldgonecrazy · 21/09/2012 09:28

If I say I consider myself a feminist, as a woman who cares about being treated fairly and with equal value to men there are always people further along with their reading and academic knowledge ready to tell me that I can't possibly be if I don't agree with their perhaps more extreme views.

I am really uncomfortable with this statement. It implies that those of us who consider ourselves feminist in that we think that women and men should be treated fairly and with equal value, are not really feminists simply because we either aren't intelligent enough, or are not motivated enough, to read more feminist literature, and that if we would/could only read more, we would become more extremist in our views.

Maybe I just think that the extremist feminists are wrong and have no wish to become like them? Maybe even if I did read the same literature I would come to a different conclusion to theirs?

Original poster
seeker · 21/09/2012 09:28

"Why do you care, seeker? I'm puzzled (although not too much, really), why you seem to look for an excuse to tear up other women for what they think?"

If you can be arsed, I'd really like an example of where I've done this.

OP posts:
FreudiansGoldSlipper · 21/09/2012 09:30

coz it makes them look more girly and cute who can not want to love a cute woman

really you may not want to call yourself a feminist but to not want equality is worrying and i do not think many woman do not want equal pay, to have control over her own body, to be treated with respect but i am sure some are going to argue with me this is what feminisim movement had to fight for and these are the rewards we women have in 2012 (well not quite but getting there not one else was fighting for us)

MelodyPondering · 21/09/2012 09:35

Because sometimes its embarrassing what some feminists can pick up and get upset about.

It honestly truly baffles me.

I see myself as a feminist. But one that doesn't constantly look for something to be sexist.

aldiwhore · 21/09/2012 09:36

True worldgonecrazy I think I was trying to explain how I feel personally... how I feel I am perceived in the middle of a debate with those who like their catchphrases.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 21/09/2012 09:38

Ok, my bad, Seeker.

When I said 'you' I committed the cardinal sin of lumping you in with other posters who want nothing more than to provoke an argument and look down on posters who perceive 'feminism' in different ways to their own much-discussed viewpoints. Wrong of me and I'm sorry for that.

There was the other thread here the other day - and then yours, which is also provocative, no? People are competitive and for some - it's a thrill to race to the bottom, emerging triumphant. This subject goes around and around with posters explaining and defending themselves till they're blue in the face and then it drops off the page, having not achieved much more than ruffled feathers from some and bad feelings from others.

What's the point? Didn't the wise MNHQ agree some time ago that 'feminism is +/- 100 shades of pink', so as to stop all the harranguing?

mnistooaddictive · 21/09/2012 09:49

Blimey seeker, you seem to have posted something very reasonable and been attacked as if you had stated something controversial! Too many women think it is 'unsexy' to be seen as a feminist. I really don't get it either.

mrscumberbatch · 21/09/2012 09:50

I find it interesting that modern women purport to be anti-feminist.

I reckon most of the time they just haven't bothered to find out what it actually means.

You'd need to not think much of yourself to be anti-feminism. Sad.

mrscumberbatch · 21/09/2012 09:52

Also for the OP bashers, it's a very valid point. Regardless of your opinion.

It's reminiscent of competitive tiredness and competitive illness. Why bother?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 21/09/2012 09:54

lobs in a large, wooden spoon... Wink

crashdollGOLD · 21/09/2012 09:54

I care about women's rights. I care about gender equality. I do not make it the centre of my universe or attack people for their own opinions on the matter.

Tuttutitlookslikerain · 21/09/2012 09:55

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Original poster
seeker · 21/09/2012 09:56

Well, just this one, actually!

OP posts:
Original poster
seeker · 21/09/2012 09:57

And why do you want people not to ask questions? Oh, and why swear?

OP posts:
FreudiansGoldSlipper · 21/09/2012 09:58

i agree it is seen as unsexy by many, sadly that is more important than celebrating how far the movement has come this is the society we live in :(

i worked in a very male dominated environment i would get comments like you do not look like a feminist and and have seen so many women desperate to show that they were not. i said it loud and proud and sadly many cannot get passed the dungaree wearing dyke man hating hairy women with apparent extreme views that certain areas of the press like to present as the whole of the feminist movement

Kayano · 21/09/2012 10:16

Have you actually made this up?
I've never seen this.

I've seen people say 'I want equality but am reluctant to have an -sit title'

Or 'I support equal rights but am reluctant to describe myself as feminist because x, y and z'