AIBU in thinking that the IPOAT hall has transported to another dimension

[Minimammoth]

Where has it gone? Just as I was about to start sprucing it up for the jubilee and start tatting the bunting?

Antoine? Have we been introduced quite?

Antoine Careme, chef to Napoleon and our own portly Prinny!

Antoine. He wishes the kiss the hands of the bee-yoo-tiful laydees.

I am orange for leukaemia awareness month, though the name-change is lacking inspiration.

Napoleon

Dear, dear Georgie

Sorry I have been absent so long ladies, the Forsyth-Smeyde boys are still one week away from returning to school and I am having to support the governess with tisanes of gin. I will return anon.

By the way, the Pirates have returned to the cove and have given over our share of the cargo - I have dropped the barrels off in the distillery herb drying shed for Fids. The very small, tightly stoppered bottles are in the medicinal cabinet. I shall empty my drawers of the slightly warm doubloons before I dash off.

Why thank you, Miss Sybil. I have affixed a new padlock to the distillery herb-drying shed as Watkins kept helping himself to our tisanes. For his lumbago, he says, or to give it its proper medical name, hypochondria.

I sent him to tidy up the haha and found this. Those tisanes have an ill effect on him.

I am returned from the land of Druids. I have learned new rituals in the land of mists, poetry and song. < no they do not involve sheep>. I am in sore need of a hot tisane and a large brandy. < slightly disturbed at Miss Sybil's warm doubloons>

Why the whalebone and lacing, Hully? Are you in battle mode, perchance? Shall I fetch a bodkin?

Ah'm in fighting fettle. I need flagons of maidenjuice and a quiver of bodkins

You're here! And all seems safe

not seen you in an age (apart from in that watering hole)

Oh yes. The Meeting where Charles Kingsley was preaching to us and I was overwhelmed with enthusiasm

I have seen an odd pamphlet and accompanying harangue talk by a pamphleteer of possibly lupine origin. She had most peculiar ideas about the Mazurka and Galop and I shall not be inviting her to our ball.

I don't believe she attends balls. I believe she sends her lower nethers in her stead.

Are we allowed to say nethers?

I believe we are if our nethers answer back.

I shall just concentrate on practising the Quadrille.

Never say nethers.

I shall go to Hullys thread and report you for saying nethers.

You should probably also report me for singing 'Never say nethers again, never, never say nethers again...'

You are beginning to whinney. Are nethers related to whithers? Wither the nethers?

Are nethers related to Tethers? Whither Tethers nethers, that's what I want to know.

I suspect Trevor. Wither Trevor's tethers nethers, either Eve or never Trevor's nethers.

Poor old Trevor's withered nethers, never tethered, ever feathered.