AIBU in thinking that the IPOAT hall has transported to another dimension

[Minimammoth]

Where has it gone? Just as I was about to start sprucing it up for the jubilee and start tatting the bunting?

Poor dear Charles, he does look so swarthy with all that walnut juice..and Mistress Hully has proved less than ept with her butchering of the lovelocks...

He is still so handsome, he shall still catch any maid's eye. Also his being so tall I fear we shall find no fitting servant's garments.

Shall we tatt in haste - and in secret? The villages are full of spies.

That was a timely warning, Madame, I managed to get His Majesty to a nearby hall which has a priest hole. I needs must lie with him in the tiny space there as he is, as we know, large.

Thus I am rather achey this morning and riding will be a travail. But I suffer all gladly for Our Sovereign Lord.

Poor Charles is nearly dead, he has been cramped in that hole for a month with nowt but a flagon of herbal tincture and a lychee posset.

Come dear King, let us haul you into the light and massage the cramp from your poor royal legs.

Isn't Minette one of those hand held Hoover thingies? < just wandering by from the lost planet Mammothea> wanders off again.

Poor Charles is dead! Thankfully I am way ahead of my time cryogenically and have put his head in the ice house. How pretty his ringlets look with a light dusting of frost.

That will be nice when we go to the fridge for our midnight snack.
Did the dribble freeze nicely?

I wiped the royal saliva on my lace kerchief out of respect, Mini dear. I think the ice house should be out of bounds to all but me for the present. I am after all the cryogenic expert

I have put the snack possets in Fid's herb shed. Next to the marjoram junket.

Are you developing a little fetish perchance Madam Hully? We shall turn a blind eye, we are very broad minded at the Hall. Just leave the protective clothing in the shed, it is easier to sleep without it. Those gloves may give the wrong impression.

Is there any chance we can extract some phosphorus from the royal urine?

I have been practising on the stable boys and have achieved the odd spectacular conflagration.

His body is a tad warm and soft, but you could have at the bladder and see if it retains any royal urine?

I am far too busy monitoring yon head.

Ah fabulous...I shall fetch my phosphorous extracting apron (with tatted lace edging) immediately!

Might I be told the ingredients of the snack possets? I recall the time the stable lads broke into the distillery herb-drying shed and subsequently spent hours running backwards around the grounds shouting about flying horses.

Am loathe to endure all that witchcraft nonsense from the vicar again.

I believe there are tansy and elderflower possets and juniper and mushroom.

The juniper and mushroom is most popular with Lady Fanciful-Mae's tatting circle I am given to understand.

Excellent, I am most pleased to hear about the juniper and mushrooms. I shall store those most carefully as they are highly prized.

They are volatile, I believe, take great care with their handling and do not lift the muslin atop them, even the fumes can ignite a maiden's fancy.

Perhaps we should consider mummification. I am sure Entropy is well capable of removing the brains with her magimix.

Although cook might get to hear of it and become over excited, and we all know what that means.

We never did find the mannydeppy creatures Entropy created, did we?

I can only hope that we shortly after left on one of our voyages so Cook had time to dispose of the remains.

I am quite interested in mummification. If we rejoined the head to the body we could disguise the join with a cravat.

I wonder about filling him with some sort of engine and getting him up and about again?

I have extracted the royal urine and am cooking it up as we speak. You may certainly have the rest of the royal person returned for your enterprise.

We can't go wasting good offal. Honey/cook can whistle up a novel pâté served with a nice ch. ch chianti.