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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think all men are basically pervs?

390 replies

mrsluvvaluvva · 01/03/2012 13:49

Hi there

Felt compelled to ask this as just lately I have really been seeing men in a different light when in social settings. Perhaps I am just getting old and grumpy or reading something that isn't there.

I have been to a few parties recently and have been really conscious of men eyeing up very young almost tartily dressed teenagers. These girls were dressed very glamorously but waay too old for their age. I saw a couple of girls probably aged 16/17 and a couple over 18's, but not by much.

What I found worrying was middle aged men blatently eyeing them up and more worrying men in my group of friends/family. Men old enough to be their dad's. Not necessarily gawping but craftily staring when they could. Now I'm talking not just about a pretty girl but proper tarted up, hot pants the lot.

It made me feel quite sick to see middle aged men perving like this, so am I being unreasonable here to think even nice guys are secret pervs and although they may not be happy with their daughters dressed up like that, they will happily ogle others?

OP posts:
Pagwatch · 01/03/2012 15:44

PoleNCock

Hullygully · 01/03/2012 15:44

Who shall we have for the breastulence?

Mumsyblouse · 01/03/2012 15:46

Mayor- that's what I'm getting at, an admiring glance is fine, drooling and dribbling and staring at breasts is not. Why is this so hard to understand? Do women really perve at young men in a similar way?

I agree that a 22 year old is different than a 16 year old, but the professors have to make do with the age group they are presented with. If there were any 16 year olds, I'm sure they would leer at them too (not all professors I hasten to add).

That young women get an erotic charge from attracting attention is in no doubt, but that doesn't mean it's fine for 50 year old men to leer at them. And what if the girl just wanted to get dressed up and dance and attract young men like I did at that age?

Trills · 01/03/2012 15:47

GetOrf likes to go commando too...

YankNCock · 01/03/2012 15:47
Pagwatch · 01/03/2012 15:48

Breastulence
Eggypoe and rebeccamumsnet.

LaurieFairyCake · 01/03/2012 15:52

Everyone looks.

Looking isn't perving.

Perving is staring/making comments/touching/inappropriately rubbing their own groin/trying to draw attention to their ENORMOUS BALLS.

So No, I know very few men who perv but I know lots of people who 'look' (including me, very specifically at my best mates son who is now 22 and is hotter than a hot thing)

Hullygully · 01/03/2012 15:55

There was a young woman in a class I took a couple of years ago who would casually disrobe as the lesson progressed, first her cardie, then her shirt, until she was down to a tiny see through vest with a bra clearly visible barely containing her extraordinarily large breasts. She would then toss her long hair back and forth and speak in a drawl.

There wasn't a person in the room (including me) who didn't stare away like we were from stare land.

SunRaysthruClouds · 01/03/2012 15:56

Well I reckon I am pretty representative of all men and yes, I am a perv. I can't walk down the street without my jaw dropped and tongue swinging about and eyes on stalks, with all them girls in next to nothing. It's cos I'm old innit.

I daren't even go to clubs or parties for fear of what might happen.

So no YANBU.

lesley33 · 01/03/2012 15:56

I am a lesbian. I never look at attractive women Hmm

NarkedPuffin · 01/03/2012 15:58

Was the room full of easels Hully?

SuperSlattern · 01/03/2012 15:58

'My DH/DP would never look' Hmm

Yes dear Smile

Id love to join you ladies on the pole. Stretch marks are attractive, right? Grin

Hullygully · 01/03/2012 15:59

No, narked, it was a serious academic affair. Weird, huh?

Original poster
mrsluvvaluvva · 01/03/2012 16:07

The girls in question were absolutely loving the fact that the older men fancied them. My question is, what 'normal' middle aged man would give more than a casual glance at. girl, no matter how attractive she was.

Things have certainly changed over the years as I would have been repulsed at an older man looking at me as a teenager.

OP posts:
Hullygully · 01/03/2012 16:10

Of course they love it. They are begging for it the little tarty hotpanted flibbertigibbets.

Aren't you done yet, love?

lesley33 · 01/03/2012 16:12

Yes stretch marks are very attractive Grin

WorraLiberty · 01/03/2012 16:12

Men old enough to be their dad's. Not necessarily gawping but craftily staring when they could. Now I'm talking not just about a pretty girl but proper tarted up, hot pants the lot

Well you obviously had a good look yourself

Not just at the girls but at the men 'craftily staring' at them.

So what's the difference, or are you just assuming their motives for looking were different to yours because they're men?

PosiePumblechook · 01/03/2012 16:13

My father, 60, just had affair with a 35yr old. Nothing surprises me any more.

mayorquimby · 01/03/2012 16:20

"Everyone looks.

Looking isn't perving.

Perving is staring/making comments/touching/inappropriately rubbing their own groin/trying to draw attention to their ENORMOUS BALLS."

Exactly. If you're friends are standing round mutely gawping OP and making animalistic noises you need to question the company you keep.

" My question is, what 'normal' middle aged man would give more than a casual glance at. girl, no matter how attractive she was."

Not middle aged yet (26) but I'd definitely give a hot 17/18 year old a second look. Chances are I've given 15 or 16 year olds more than a second look without realising how young they are. And I'm willing to bet I will still give second looks and sly glances for the rest of my days.

DinahMoHum · 01/03/2012 16:21

if a woman/girl dresses in those sort of clothes, she will be expecting people to notice and she will most likely get something out of the attention it generates.

It doesnt mean they actually want that woman even if they had the opportunity, necessarily. I guess theres all sorts of reasons for looking.

Tbh im always checking out other women, ive been told off for staring at women before where i havent even realised im doing it, and its not because i want some lesbian session with them either. Sometimes its judging them, sometimes its horrified "omg what is she WEARING" sometimes its wow, she looks amazing, i wish i looked like that

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 01/03/2012 16:21

Yabu, of course.

And I don't always head for the end cross trainer in the which is handily situated next to the weights ( and underneath an air vent thingy )

And I never, ever ogle those luvverly young men whilst I puff and pant like a sweaty, red faced hippo......oh no, not me Wink

mayorquimby · 01/03/2012 16:21

or making...
obviously you can't mutely stare AND make noises

Hullygully · 01/03/2012 16:22

I look at them because I do want smokin lezzy action

Oooo mumma

DebbieD78 · 01/03/2012 16:24

I think I figured this out when I was about 15. I know I had friends of my dads eyeing me up at that age or a bit older. It's just how men are wired.

Original poster
mrsluvvaluvva · 01/03/2012 16:24

You're been ridiculous hullygully

OP posts: