To think all men are basically pervs?

[mrsluvvaluvva]

Hi there

Felt compelled to ask this as just lately I have really been seeing men in a different light when in social settings. Perhaps I am just getting old and grumpy or reading something that isn't there.

I have been to a few parties recently and have been really conscious of men eyeing up very young almost tartily dressed teenagers. These girls were dressed very glamorously but waay too old for their age. I saw a couple of girls probably aged 16/17 and a couple over 18's, but not by much.

What I found worrying was middle aged men blatently eyeing them up and more worrying men in my group of friends/family. Men old enough to be their dad's. Not necessarily gawping but craftily staring when they could. Now I'm talking not just about a pretty girl but proper tarted up, hot pants the lot.

It made me feel quite sick to see middle aged men perving like this, so am I being unreasonable here to think even nice guys are secret pervs and although they may not be happy with their daughters dressed up like that, they will happily ogle others?

"A 16 year old girl in hot pants, hair extensions etc is made up to look much older. Hence the older men eyeing them up.A 16 year old girl in hot pants, hair extensions etc is made up to look much older. Hence the older men eyeing them up."

Erm

I am sure that the men doing the ogling are well aware that they are young.

I am not sure what your point is.

This has been going on since the dawn of time, hotpants and hair extensions or otherwise.

Mrsluvvaluvva

That is so completely inaccurate about teenage boy too.

I was on holiday with my son when he was 15. 6ft tall and a rugby player, he was minding his own business while a couple of 30 something women kept ogling him. One lovely mner got all flustered when she did a 'cor who is that?' about a picture of him. Young men can look older too.

But I assumed the women on holiday were a bit stupid and inappropriate. I didn't think basically all women were.

OP you are Peter Stringfellow and I claim my £5!

I'll say nothing of the older female receptionist who STARES at my DH's cycling shorts when he arrives in the morning, before getting changed into his work clothes.

Because that would mean that ALL older women are pervs.

much eyerolling

From my reading it seems both Narked

OP, I'm in awe of your powers of extrasensory perception - to know what all these men you have observed are thinking.

Or you could just be insecure about your own looks and masking that insecurity behind the snidey and snooty veneer which you have employed here. Free will and all of that. A person may dress how s/he pleases and it is not against the law to look (yes lewd staring is disrespectful but not against the law). However you are perfectly within you rights to be judgy of both the men and girls but YABU.

My DH got trapped in a understairs cupboard by one of his parents friends when he was 17 and at a party. He wasn't wearing hot pants though. He is still terrified of her 22 years later. She was definitely perving, not just looking.

My DH turns into from Blackadder when he wears cycling shorts.

I think many men are secret pervs.

In fact i am surprised at some of these responses, particularly as they are always threads on mumsnet discussing how girls are becoming increasingly sexualised. Would you all really be ok if your dh and his friends were eyeing up a teenage girl who was provactively dressed??

I tend to think most men may claim to fancy women of their own age, normal sized, for want of a better word, not too 'tarted' up. However, I think they say this for the dw's benefit.

In reality what they really do prefer if young, slim very glammed up women and usually much younger.

But most women don't want to belive that of their dh.

Yes of course most men look. What I found uncomfortable though is that these social settings were packed full of women dressed up. None of them attracted the same attention as teenage girls. I think this is horrible when the men are way older.

Also, the fact that they are clearly more attracted to GIRLS rather than women in their age group.

This is news to you?

I mean, seriously?

You were a girl once, yes?

Sardinequeen,
I suppose I didn't notice itwhen I was younger and men in my social circle were young too. They were lOoking at girls their own age.

Now I'm older these same men are looking at girls 20 plus years younger!!

I don't think simply looking makes them perverted does it? My dh has commented more than once on a young girl I worked with. She was stunning, you could track where she was in a room at any given time by the thud of male jaws hitting the floor. Dh isn't a "Pwhoaaar gerra load of that " type. He has however given her his highest of all accolades "very charming", which translates as "it's a good job I love you Honeydragon because that girl has reverted me to the state of a stammering 13 year old who would sell his gonads to Satan for just one date with that woman".

I think I'd be more worried it he didn't look tbh

Men will look at tits and arses ALLNTHE TIME
They don't even knownthey are doing it

oh hang on this just in.....

dh has just phoned and I mentioned the op's exact scenario to dh

he laughed and said no way were the oggling, they were judging and probably bitched about the state of them later

I responded

he has somewhat primly informed me that Judgypants are not soley restricted to the ladies

I agree, I too, would be more worried if my dp didnt look.

It's those men who pretend that dont fancy a stunning girl that are the sneaks.

My dp is a decent bloke and would openly admit that a woman has a nice arse etc, but i still wonder how much he actually lets on to me and as much as he tells me he thinks I'm lovely I am not entirely convinced. I am sure he doesn't really find me as as attractive as a 20 year old woman .

Strandedbear,

At one party the one girl was 16. A friend knew her mother. At this particular do some of themen were laughing and commenting at her on the dance floor, until another said 'lay off, you know how old she is'.

Honeydragon, my DH also has a rather large pair of judgypants!

He doesn't like the 'tarted up', skanky clothes, fake tan, hair extensions. Which is not to say he doesn't occasionally look at a (naturally) attractive woman.

yankNcock

See, I don't buy this. That men just look at naturally attractive women.

They just pretend that they don't fancy tartily dressed or page 3 types cos they know it will offend their DW. It's ok to admit that you fancy Kiera Knightly or similar, but not a woman out of Nuts.

Not all men of course, but I bet a lot.

OP, because your definition of 'perve' seems to be any man who looks at all breasts anf female bottoms, then I say "YANBU".

In truth they all do it and any man who primly tries to claim he doesn't is a liar.

But it's the ones who - for example - catch a sneaky feel of my bottom in a crowded shop (Sunday in St Ives) or shout from a white van their lusty appreciation of my chest (yesterday afternoon in St Just) who I would call 'perves'

Pendeen, I am not talking about looking at all women.

Specificially young women, girls really. Totally different, I think

YABU

"All" includes "young".

carmen, have you watched 'Snog Marry Avoid'?

I don't have to believe what DH tells me he finds attractive, I can watch where his eyes go, it's that easy.