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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think all men are basically pervs?

390 replies

mrsluvvaluvva · 01/03/2012 13:49

Hi there

Felt compelled to ask this as just lately I have really been seeing men in a different light when in social settings. Perhaps I am just getting old and grumpy or reading something that isn't there.

I have been to a few parties recently and have been really conscious of men eyeing up very young almost tartily dressed teenagers. These girls were dressed very glamorously but waay too old for their age. I saw a couple of girls probably aged 16/17 and a couple over 18's, but not by much.

What I found worrying was middle aged men blatently eyeing them up and more worrying men in my group of friends/family. Men old enough to be their dad's. Not necessarily gawping but craftily staring when they could. Now I'm talking not just about a pretty girl but proper tarted up, hot pants the lot.

It made me feel quite sick to see middle aged men perving like this, so am I being unreasonable here to think even nice guys are secret pervs and although they may not be happy with their daughters dressed up like that, they will happily ogle others?

OP posts:
Honeydragon · 03/03/2012 22:37

Steve and his large rod

Morloth · 03/03/2012 22:38

Vampires without the blood and sex, what was the point?

And werewolves with no body hair? I mean really.

LovedayPan · 03/03/2012 23:00

Twilight isn't designed for adults, yes? Is this news just in? Surely not.

Honeydragon · 03/03/2012 23:03

Lord of The Rings and The Hobbit were written for children too, not middle aged men with distinct traits of nerdiness Grin

Honeydragon · 03/03/2012 23:04

I find Beaker from the Muppets quite sexy, where do we stand on puppets?

LovedayPan · 03/03/2012 23:06

yes HD, a sort of friend of mine who is male and a bit middle-aged has a thing about the LotR films. Less so the books. I do wonder about him at times....

SarahStratton · 03/03/2012 23:11

The line is firmly drawn quite a bit before Fingerbobs, Honey.

Morloth · 03/03/2012 23:12

No I agree Loveday Twilight is for the kiddies and a 13-21 year old getting all gushy over them makes sense but 30+ and it starts to get a little creepy, however I wouldn't extrapolate from that that all women enjoy perving on teenage boys.

LOTR is like a smorgasboard. Including Liv Tyler, her I would make a break from straightness for!

Honeydragon · 03/03/2012 23:22

not sexy

sexy

LovedayPan · 03/03/2012 23:27

yep. Gingers get so little airtime re sexiness.

thecook · 04/03/2012 05:21

Itsonlyaquestion and Morloth. I am sorry for my comments. However, I have found huge amounts of married men to have paid working girls over my 19 year career. Of course not all married men pay working girls (not whores by the way). I have seen plenty of single men pay too. But certain incidents stick in my mind. Like the time an English man approached a working friend of mine. On a Sunday morning in Bayswater. He asked for business. At the time he had a baby in a sling round him! He told my mate 'She is sleeping, have you got a place? I have £120 I just want a blow job. I ain't chatting shit neither. So IMO watch your husband!!!!
.. By the way my friend declined the transaction. And working girl not whore please!!!!

thecook · 04/03/2012 05:24

Itsonlyaquestion and Morloth. I am sorry for my comments. However, I have found huge amounts of married men to have paid working girls over my 19 year career. Of course not all married men pay working girls (not whores by the way). I have seen plenty of single men pay too. But certain incidents stick in my mind. Like the time an English man approached a working friend of mine. On a Sunday morning in Bayswater. He asked for business. At the time he had a baby in a sling round him! He told my mate 'She is sleeping, have you got a place? I have £120 I just want a blow job. I ain't chatting shit neither. So IMO watch your husband!!!!
.. By the way my friend declined the transaction. And working girl not whore please!!!!

Morloth · 04/03/2012 06:18

I don't need to 'watch' my husband. He is a grown adult not a possession.

How would 'watching' him help? If he wants to cheat/be a scumbag then no amount of surveillance is going to help.

You work in an industry which attracts creeps. Of course your view is going to be coloured by that.

Horrible anecdotes don't make it any more true. Guy with baby in sling looking for random blowjob is not representative of the entire male population of the planet.

Latara · 04/03/2012 07:49

I grew up watching Buffy.. she was much cooler than soppy Bella in Twilight. Plus she had Angel & Spike to choose from.. Real men (er, vampires). But grown up & properly sexy.

Morloth · 04/03/2012 07:58

Though David Boraenze now appears to have no body hair.

I liked Spike better before he became good. He seemed to enjoy himself so much, then he just turned into a whiny little bitch like Angel.

LovedayPan · 04/03/2012 09:14

not sexy

not sexy

Honeydragon · 04/03/2012 09:36

Do not getme started on this (frankly weird) Cumberbatch obsession sweeping the boards. That is perverted.

LovedayPan · 04/03/2012 09:54

agree Hd - no-one fussed about him with his natural ginger hair. All a bit juvenile and absurd.[judgey]

Archemedes · 04/03/2012 10:04

I second the poster who said you shouldnt have to watch.

Latara · 05/03/2012 02:16

Honeydragon - Nooo; my teenage Buffy memories are now ruined by the wrongness that is Muppet Angel! :-D

bytext · 29/10/2012 12:14

I am 62 attractive with reasonable figure and 2 years into a relationship with a 63 year old man. Hes ok looking, not my normal type but I thought I'd look outside the box this time and go more for a kind personality.
OMG how wrong was I!!!!
He ogles females (never overweight women, he derides these) any age from 13 upwards - if I challenge him he will say I was looking at: number plate, her boots "aren't they old fashioned , she looks like, I thought you'd look good in that, wow I had a car like that etc, look at the top of that building".
Anything to distract me from seeing his leering looks, it happens when hes driving, we are shopping, we sightseeing everywhere - his eyes become glazed he is disconnected to the point he becomes motionless and deaf ( well to my comments).
The latest episode on hols when he was so engrossed with the legs of a not very attractive 50 something woman he didn't hear me ask fopr another drink 3 times. I flounced off, we have returned to the uk but contact been very limited.
He says he would have been better if he had committed a murder and I am being unreasonable, AM I?

OneMoreChap · 29/10/2012 12:27

At 15 pages tl;dr Grin

No, all men aren't perves.
Some are, some aren't.

Mores of society seem to be changing with a variance in body image becomeing less acceptable. [Body hair, shape, etc.]

I suspect driven by porn and the fashion industry.

ISTR Lenny Henry said he knew he was getting older when he saw scantily glad women going to gigs and thought "They must be freezing" rather than "PHWOOAR!"

I've never seen the "fascination" with women dressed as schoolgirls either, which is allegedly a male fantasy.

I'll occasionally look at an attractive woman, and pass comment to DW; as I would an attractive man [e.g. I think Christian in Eastenders looked good - until "that hair"; I also notice what newcasters wear [as in that necklace doesn't look right]

FunBagFreddie · 29/10/2012 12:41

Of course men like to look at pretty young women, especially ones that are scantily clad. They all do it, without exception. Decent blokes just have the good sense and respect to not do it openly infront of their DP/DW. Grin

If they are being blatant and making the young women feel uncomfortable, or if they are leching over underage girls, then they are pervs and deserve a kick in the knackers.