To think all men are basically pervs?

[mrsluvvaluvva]

Hi there

Felt compelled to ask this as just lately I have really been seeing men in a different light when in social settings. Perhaps I am just getting old and grumpy or reading something that isn't there.

I have been to a few parties recently and have been really conscious of men eyeing up very young almost tartily dressed teenagers. These girls were dressed very glamorously but waay too old for their age. I saw a couple of girls probably aged 16/17 and a couple over 18's, but not by much.

What I found worrying was middle aged men blatently eyeing them up and more worrying men in my group of friends/family. Men old enough to be their dad's. Not necessarily gawping but craftily staring when they could. Now I'm talking not just about a pretty girl but proper tarted up, hot pants the lot.

It made me feel quite sick to see middle aged men perving like this, so am I being unreasonable here to think even nice guys are secret pervs and although they may not be happy with their daughters dressed up like that, they will happily ogle others?

yabu and very sexist

Honeydragon, given the comments that come out of my DH's mouth I would second that opinion too.

To prove the point. They have an ongoing office war at his work. His department are considering complaining about inappropriate attire of a certain female colleague...

So if any of you were in a social setting and you dh's and friends looked or commented on a very tartily dressed teenager in a way that suggested that they thought she was attractive, none of you would be offended.

Even if these men had daughters of the same age. That these men weren't ogling attractive women, just one teenage girl. No one would think this wascreepy in 40 and 50 year old men?

I don't know how many adult men or women eye up 16 year olds, OP, but I hope it isn't many.

I am 15 and I love to wear really really tight hot tarty pants and a low cut top with thrust-up brassiere and do really really sexy dancing at family parties where old men are there.

All better now?

At weddings, I like to rub myself all over with cake so the granddads can feel a little twitch in the old trouser snake.

sardine, anyone?

YANBU, I work at a university and lots of the middle-aged and older married men stare at the young girls with their short skirts. Some have affairs with them, many don't however. But the general air of perving at even slightly older females who are attractive is quite overpowering at times. We are not in a night-club and whilst it's ok to notice an attractive young person (as in briefly notice them), it's not ok to stand there mentally undressing them. I have seen some of the senior male professors sitting there staring at the younger PhD females' bodies in meetings, they don't bother to hide it.

And yes, it is worrying, these men have power over these women, both in terms of whether they get their degrees/PhDs and whether they sleep with them. I find it deeply distateful, and if I saw my husband doing any more than casually noticing once a lovely young woman dressed in hotpants, I'd kick his leg. Perving diminshes the young girl being watched in a way that the odd admiring glance does not.

But I disagree that all or most men are pervs, most are not like this. There's a skill in noticing an attractive young person without making them feel like you are perving at them, and most people are polite enough to deploy it.

Thank you mumsy. I was beginning to think I was the only one...

There is a big difference between looking at a PhD student who must be at least 22 and looking at a 16 year old, particularly if you are looking at that 16 year old at a family event.

Hully that's terrible! Etiquette says one should wear a silver lycra bikini to weddings and then do a lap dance for the vicar

At the one particular party I was at men were standing at the edge of dancefloor watching girl gyrate! Not sitting down miles away occasionally glancing.

A lot of them looked mesmerised. Now I know you can't stop people from looking from lOokinneither can you read minds. I'd be amazed though, if a fair number of the men weren't looking in a sexual way.

I find it very difficult to believe that my female friends are all secretly looking at my teenage son and have simply become skilled in hiding the fact. I am going to continue to believe that most adults don't look at teenagers of school age in a sexual way.

These weren't family events btw.

Right, I'm going to collect my forgotten belongings from the bank. You are all creepy and weird.

But speaking as a hot pant tarty clad 15 yr old, I get an erotic charge from old men leering and dribbling at the edge of the family wedding dance floor.

Hully is indeed very hot and tarty ( but perhaps a smidgen over 15).

not in my hot pant head I'm not

would seem I'm a perve then.
I look at attractive women all the time, don't gawp though because it's rude and makes you look a twat.

'At the one particular party I was at men were standing at the edge of dancefloor watching girl gyrate!'

Are you sure you didn't wander into a strip club? Was there a big, unexplained pole in the middle of the dance floor?

Has it occurred to you that you may mix in really weird circles op?

The last time I saw men standing around watching girls gyrate was in a nightclub in about 1980. Hully was great even back then.

Come on Pag, get your hot pants on and we'll make the granddads live again

I think the op felt there were lots of big unexplained poles yankNCock

yanknpole

I can reveal my thighs. We need getorf. She has an admirable bum.