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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be gagging for a no-strings-attached one night stand?

1002 replies

Celibacyisnotforme · 15/05/2011 20:37

Excuse the pun... Grin

Name changed for obvious reasons... and it's not even Friday but here goes!

It's been three months since soon-to-be-XH was unceremoniously kicked out and our decree nisi has just been approved. This sounds like a short time to be moving on BUT the last time we were intimate was before DD was born - two and a half years ago!! I cannot tell you how lonely and miserable it was to be locked in a marriage with no love or sex... no friendship either - only violence, but that's another story that I've posted about on here before.

So I've been unintentionally celibate for a looooooong time and now that I'm finally free all I want is some SEX! It has been too long since I felt the warmth of another body and I am completely smitten with the idea of some affection. I do NOT want to get into a relationship of any sort - I am so happy being an independant woman, with just DD and myself to think about - none of that Wifework for me! All I want is dinner for two, loads of wine, candles and a good hard pounding from a throbbing member... is that too much to ask?

Any ideas on how to go about getting this will be greatly appreciated... Grin

[note to self - must stop reading Mills & Boon]

OP posts:
cannydoit · 19/05/2011 17:04

i have that one and i love it, its so flattering. ask a silly question but what is aff? i met my guys on plenty of fish which is a free one. i came back on expecting all the juicy details i thought it was last night, have we seen a pic of him yet, just so we can all live totally vicariously threw you lol.

goodegg · 19/05/2011 17:19

I have the bra and suspender knicks of that Ann Summers set in light turquoise, tres sexy.

Original poster
Celibacyisnotforme · 19/05/2011 19:11

Cannydoit - AFF is adultfriendfinder.com - it's loads of fun... Grin

OP posts:
JanMorrow · 20/05/2011 12:17

I for one can't wait to hear the filthy details, haha

cannydoit · 20/05/2011 12:32

ahhhhhhhhhh i seeeeeee so its a find a shag . com. excellent so i know were to go if it all goes tits up with new man hahahahaahahahaha. one day to go how are those nerves coming?

cuteboots · 20/05/2011 12:32

Cant wait to read the filthy feedback! You go girl!! HA HA

Original poster
Celibacyisnotforme · 20/05/2011 18:28

Oh god. oh god. in one days time I could be having sex with a guy I met on the internet. And I was always such a good Catholic convent girl!! Nervous? Me? What do you think? Aaargh!

That's better.. just had to get it out... Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
Celibacyisnotforme · 20/05/2011 19:07

AND I've just read the end-of-the-world thread - so if the world ends at 11pm tomorrow night none of you will be getting the juicy details! Mwa ha haaaa....

(although it's pretty clear that I'll be one of the ones left behind - because I am a naughty girl.... )

OP posts:
Original poster
Celibacyisnotforme · 20/05/2011 19:35

UPDATE - Saturday's shagathon is OFF... Sad

It appears that we're after different things, Calvin & I... he has been sending increasingly extreme emails and describing stuff that I am not comfortable with at all - so I've pulled the plug... thank God I found out before I got there! I didn't even know some of that stuff existed!! Yeurgh! Angry

Good news though - I have a picnic scheduled on Monday afternoon with Bachelor Number Two... tune in next week for further episodes... Grin

OP posts:
thelittlefriend · 20/05/2011 19:38

oh no, I'm going to have to change my sat night plans too now. I was ready just to stay tuned for your updates all night!!

Good luck next week though Wink

Original poster
Celibacyisnotforme · 20/05/2011 19:43

I know... I'm simultaneously gutted and relieved... but really, if you heard some of the things he was into, you'd be shocked! Shock

I think I'm going to email all the other contenders and ask them what their kinkiest fantasy is, just to make sure we're all on the same page... don't need any nasty surprises...

Anyone want to join me in a Wine? Drown my sorrows? Grin

OP posts:
thelittlefriend · 20/05/2011 19:57

already having one. cheers! Wine

BabyYoureAFirework · 20/05/2011 21:31

You know we need to know what those things are that he's into, don't you OP Grin

BabyYoureAFirework · 20/05/2011 21:32

Nice use of italics there Hmm

TheOriginalFAB · 20/05/2011 21:34

I am not sure asking someone what their kinkiest fantasy is is the way to go!

cees · 20/05/2011 22:10

Loving this thread, shame your man didn't work out but please do spill what he was into
Pretty please Grin

lucykate · 20/05/2011 22:23

it's a shame but good for you pulling out once the alarm bells rang.

Original poster
Celibacyisnotforme · 20/05/2011 22:26

Well, nosey parkers lovely ladies, he said he wanted to try fisting and that I should pee on him in the shower... not what I had in mind for my first sexual experience in 2.5 years! Yuck! [prude emoticon] Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
Celibacyisnotforme · 20/05/2011 22:27

Is that normal? I mean, I know I pushed a 6lb baby out of that hole but that doesn't mean I want a whole fist up there... ...

And peeing? Seriously?

OP posts:
BabyYoureAFirework · 20/05/2011 22:28

Hahaha!! I can't believe he was so upfront about what he wanted! No class. Sorry for you OP - good luck with the next one though, shall be following this thread with interest Grin

TheSecondComing · 20/05/2011 22:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PigletJohn · 20/05/2011 23:02

I suppose if you ask a question you won't like the answer to, you have to expect an answer you won't like Hmm

ShellyBoobs · 20/05/2011 23:11

OH and I use swingingheaven.com. It's free to an extent, but the best bit is the chatrooms (for getting to know potential playmates) which isn't free unfortunately. Without wishing to sound patronising to anyone, swinging isn't all about throwing your keys in the fruit bowl and taking pot-luck at big parties; most of the people meet 1-2-1 (or some other combination). It might be that swingingheaven is worth a look for you, OP? Grin

We've met couples and singles from there and again, like on AFF, there are plenty of men to choose from but we've found it relatively easy to find sane ones through having lengthy chats and through recommendations from other members.

Hope you find some naughty-but-nice men to play with, if you keep trying OP! Wine

Original poster
Celibacyisnotforme · 21/05/2011 06:02

TSC - what do you mean? I can assure you this is as real as it gets... it's taught me that I need to "interview" each possibility well before the bed stage - so now I'm chatting to five different men to try narrow down the field a bit more. So far, only one more nasty surprise - one was still married and looking for sex in his office while his wife was at work - he's been blocked so we're down to 4!

Had a lovely chat with Bachelor Number Two last night - he's much more of a "normal" type guy (if there is such a thing?) and we seem to connect on more than just a sexual level. His suggestion of a picnic in a park to meet in public is so sweet... so the sitter's booked for Monday afternoon and I'm off to buy strawberries and Brie today... Grin

Hope everyone has a lovely day!

OP posts:
hairfullofsnakes · 21/05/2011 06:24

Good luck with finding throbbing members op! So funny!

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