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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be gagging for a no-strings-attached one night stand?

1002 replies

Celibacyisnotforme · 15/05/2011 20:37

Excuse the pun... Grin

Name changed for obvious reasons... and it's not even Friday but here goes!

It's been three months since soon-to-be-XH was unceremoniously kicked out and our decree nisi has just been approved. This sounds like a short time to be moving on BUT the last time we were intimate was before DD was born - two and a half years ago!! I cannot tell you how lonely and miserable it was to be locked in a marriage with no love or sex... no friendship either - only violence, but that's another story that I've posted about on here before.

So I've been unintentionally celibate for a looooooong time and now that I'm finally free all I want is some SEX! It has been too long since I felt the warmth of another body and I am completely smitten with the idea of some affection. I do NOT want to get into a relationship of any sort - I am so happy being an independant woman, with just DD and myself to think about - none of that Wifework for me! All I want is dinner for two, loads of wine, candles and a good hard pounding from a throbbing member... is that too much to ask?

Any ideas on how to go about getting this will be greatly appreciated... Grin

[note to self - must stop reading Mills & Boon]

OP posts:
Psammead · 24/05/2011 17:43

Oh that'd only give him ideas Wink

He'd love that! Grin

NorfolkNChance · 24/05/2011 18:03

My boobs are enough to knock anyone off their feet with their 34L ampleness [wunk]

hairfullofsnakes · 24/05/2011 19:43

This looky likey thing is fun, it's great to picture what some of you look like. Me? I have been told by a few different people that I ook a bit like Salma Hayeck but I can't see it as she is gorgeous and I don't look gorgeous :(

indecisiveforever · 24/05/2011 19:44

wow, she IS gorgeous, lucky you!
Envy

hairfullofsnakes · 24/05/2011 19:55

ha ha, but I don't think I really look like her, maybe a tiny tiny bit, very similar hair and maybe eyes. I'd love her body from the film From Dusk till Dawn!

AnyFucker · 24/05/2011 19:56

that wasn't her body, daftie Grin

AnyFucker · 24/05/2011 19:57

I was the body double for that film Wink

FellatioNelson · 24/05/2011 20:19

AF you can't look like Princess Diana and Selma Hyack Hmm Make your mind up. You are clearly a big fat oafing LIAR.

AnyFucker · 24/05/2011 20:22

sssh, Ginster might come back and he is sooooo avin' it Wink

Jackin · 24/05/2011 20:23

wish I looked like someoneSad Mind you could be worse, "You look like that bloke of crimewatch" etc etc

hairfullofsnakes · 24/05/2011 20:34

what's better though, a good body or pretty face? we saw a girl at a wedding who my dh referred to as a BOBFOC

BODY OFF BAYWATCH
FACE OFF CRIMEWATCH

Her body was amazing but she was a real ugly fucker! Wink

MotherMucca · 24/05/2011 20:41

Oh, I have only just read all of this, I have clearly been missing out.

And yes, OP is veh similar to hedgie, but I care not a jot.

ThatVikRinA22 · 24/05/2011 20:43

oh bloody hell....i go and do some housewifey stuff and what happens? op floounces. Bugger. i was actually looking forward to the update, i was enjoying shagging a handsome stranger vicariously through the op....its not something i consider i would ever do personally....it was doing my DH some good i can tell you....op do come back....if i told my DH where my new found burst of morning energy had come from im sure he would want a read aswell! (i am easily pleased! just as well....)

TechLovingDad · 24/05/2011 21:07

Has this calmed down now?

Thingumy · 24/05/2011 21:09

You back again tech?

Bromide not working I see.

ThatVikRinA22 · 24/05/2011 21:19

im calm. Grin so is DH....

this thread really did me the power of good!

TechLovingDad · 24/05/2011 21:20

I think I'm immune to bromide. Sad

Thingumy · 24/05/2011 21:21
TitsalinaBumSquash · 24/05/2011 21:23

This thread is pure filth I am quite frankly disappointed that I wasn't involved in all of you! Wink

TechLovingDad · 24/05/2011 21:24

wow cheers titsalina, that's helped no end

TitsalinaBumSquash · 24/05/2011 21:26

I helped?!

I love being 'helpful' - so who else needs ravaging helping?

Psammead · 24/05/2011 21:29

What a welcome back! Just got back from our Chinese - was loverly!

Now we are not so patiently waiting for the babysitter to finish the movie so we can retire upstairs.

Jackin · 24/05/2011 21:29

gulp! (runs scared to wife)

Thingumy · 24/05/2011 21:30

Ooh I love a bit of mock lesbo action me...

Psammead · 24/05/2011 21:33

I'd mock you anytime Wink

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