to be gagging for a no-strings-attached one night stand?

[Celibacyisnotforme]

Excuse the pun...

Name changed for obvious reasons... and it's not even Friday but here goes!

It's been three months since soon-to-be-XH was unceremoniously kicked out and our decree nisi has just been approved. This sounds like a short time to be moving on BUT the last time we were intimate was before DD was born - two and a half years ago!! I cannot tell you how lonely and miserable it was to be locked in a marriage with no love or sex... no friendship either - only violence, but that's another story that I've posted about on here before.

So I've been unintentionally celibate for a looooooong time and now that I'm finally free all I want is some SEX! It has been too long since I felt the warmth of another body and I am completely smitten with the idea of some affection. I do NOT want to get into a relationship of any sort - I am so happy being an independant woman, with just DD and myself to think about - none of that Wifework for me! All I want is dinner for two, loads of wine, candles and a good hard pounding from a throbbing member... is that too much to ask?

Any ideas on how to go about getting this will be greatly appreciated...

[note to self - must stop reading Mills & Boon]

boob to belly button, dammit!!

Hands off my Sarah, AF

Boobs off her, too!

I meant woman boob to woman boob, not boob to moob

Saw Pirates on Sunday. If you liked the others it's a good watch, in a not brain taxing way. Jonny Depp for the laydeeeez and Penelope Cruz ( swoon ) for the geeezerz.

Not sure I'd watch it in 3D again though.

I am too old and fat cuddly to be a supermodel. I couldn't hack the subexisting on coffee and fags either. I hate smoking and like my food too much

oo fisticuffs

mud wrestle anyone ?

Penelope Cruz? Oh dear, wonky face, not my cup at all.

I have some oil i can chuck on the wrestlers.

I'm too damn short to be any sort of model :(

Good things in small packages, indecisive.

I am 6 foot, loads of blokes are shortarses to me.

Wallis Petite range model ?

indecisive you could be a bust!

I am not commenting on the mudwrestling.

I am a laydeee

Mind you, I don't really mind short blokes, while you're down there, etc.

BOOM BOOM

DW is 5'7, nice height. I love women of all heights, though.

GetOrf, you can always rest your drink on their head.

Boom boom? Quite.

I do, often. Stand there arms akimbo and poke them in t'eye with my elbow.

I wear platforms as well. I like being tall.

5ft 7 is a nice height

I used to want to be 5ft 7 when I was a self-conscious tall teenager

I like being tall now...it gives me gravitas (when my stupidity threatens to let me down )

GOMC, the sleaze is affecting us all now

< shakes fist at celibacy >

Bet your legs look 10ft long. Ahem, I'd better stop now.

yes, you better stop

before you say they would look great wrapped round your neck

Wish my legs looked 10 foot long...

I do, however, model myself on Kylie..

well they would Moi?

You know, if the papers see this thread they will write stories about smutty housewives again.

And we'll probably all be mentioned.

We need superinjunctions.

Join in with the love in, indecisive. Now is not the time for self deprecation.

Seemingly this thread has become something of a shop window

Oh no, really?

Does my bum look big in it?