to be gagging for a no-strings-attached one night stand?

[Celibacyisnotforme]

Excuse the pun...

Name changed for obvious reasons... and it's not even Friday but here goes!

It's been three months since soon-to-be-XH was unceremoniously kicked out and our decree nisi has just been approved. This sounds like a short time to be moving on BUT the last time we were intimate was before DD was born - two and a half years ago!! I cannot tell you how lonely and miserable it was to be locked in a marriage with no love or sex... no friendship either - only violence, but that's another story that I've posted about on here before.

So I've been unintentionally celibate for a looooooong time and now that I'm finally free all I want is some SEX! It has been too long since I felt the warmth of another body and I am completely smitten with the idea of some affection. I do NOT want to get into a relationship of any sort - I am so happy being an independant woman, with just DD and myself to think about - none of that Wifework for me! All I want is dinner for two, loads of wine, candles and a good hard pounding from a throbbing member... is that too much to ask?

Any ideas on how to go about getting this will be greatly appreciated...

[note to self - must stop reading Mills & Boon]

I don't think you're a troll, OP, I'm just jealous.

mils n boon id love it if there were wild red deer in our local park.

I second hairfullofsnakes, psammed, you're something of a looker.

Now watch me get booted off

Ooh, I am turn-worthy, fab!

I mean, yes, I am Sarah's biatch. And Buppy's.

God only knows what DH would make of this thread. It's our anniversary today, too.

Oh blimey now I really am blushing.

You're spending your anniversary flirting with other women? You naughty girl, you'll make this thread proud.

I'm off to look for the old doggers ladies - maybe they'll explain what lesbians do.

WWWY you need Matt in year 11. He explained it to me in the back of a bus. His knowledge was extensive.

It was one of the most cringeworthily embarassing conversations of my life.

I am actually a bit of a prude.

Okay right you are then.

well I certainly had it down as a wind up. but I have explained what a massive sceptic I am.

If it's all true, then good for you. If you're really Geoff from Stains you're a very naughty man.

The OP is a deer, deer lady.

oh shit, name checked again < sidles back into thread >

I just want it acknowledged that I, yes I, am responsible for the cute nickname applied to Ginster. Pasties are gooood, especially the meat'n'two veg variety, you cannot deny it

celibacy, find your sense of humour again, please

I am, as I'm sure you are aware, very very glad you dumped your old tosser. if MN helped you to do that, bloody fabulous

But if we want to say you are talking porkies with your tale of Bambi's, sun-dappled woods and come faces, then we will. If you know it to be true, what does it matter what us plonkers say ? We don't know you

Like I said yesterday, this is a great thread. Roll with it, don't spit the dummy out, chuck x

oh, and nobody has really said you are a troll (just a lovely writer of fiction) and no-one has called your morals into question, so get off your high deer horse

Is the dummy the only thing she spat?

We regularly see deer in our parks round here

NNC....so do we, but not anywhere near "courting couples" with tongues down each other's throats and come faces

I also want it known I am a plonker, and happy to be one

God i really need to quit my job, this thread is getting more exciting by the minute!

Celibacy please don't go, I REALLY want to hear more...

Oh, and loving Gsters blind date questions - I've always loved a tall man (being 5 ft 2 helps mind you, all men are tall to me...)

< squeezes back >

boob to boob, nice

sorry, I'll get me coat

this thread is infecting me with it's naughtiness

I am 5'9 and a half. Very few men are tall to me.

This thread has turned us all at one point or another!

I am 5'8". Just tall enough to be a supermodel.

Just wide enough to be five supermodels

I'm 6'2 and built like a fat git rugby player.

AF are you Any Plonker now?

boob to boob action is always a plus.

Steady there, TLD!

Btw since no bugger has bothered to answer my qu in chat - has anyone seen pirates of the carib 4, and is it any good?

mmm 6'2"
Gives me neck ache :)

No boob to boob action here though, you're all too tall, be more like bood to belly button

sarah, I am 5ft 10, we would < ahem > fit very nicely

this is where you are going wrong, you need some lady action