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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be gagging for a no-strings-attached one night stand?

1002 replies

Celibacyisnotforme · 15/05/2011 20:37

Excuse the pun... Grin

Name changed for obvious reasons... and it's not even Friday but here goes!

It's been three months since soon-to-be-XH was unceremoniously kicked out and our decree nisi has just been approved. This sounds like a short time to be moving on BUT the last time we were intimate was before DD was born - two and a half years ago!! I cannot tell you how lonely and miserable it was to be locked in a marriage with no love or sex... no friendship either - only violence, but that's another story that I've posted about on here before.

So I've been unintentionally celibate for a looooooong time and now that I'm finally free all I want is some SEX! It has been too long since I felt the warmth of another body and I am completely smitten with the idea of some affection. I do NOT want to get into a relationship of any sort - I am so happy being an independant woman, with just DD and myself to think about - none of that Wifework for me! All I want is dinner for two, loads of wine, candles and a good hard pounding from a throbbing member... is that too much to ask?

Any ideas on how to go about getting this will be greatly appreciated... Grin

[note to self - must stop reading Mills & Boon]

OP posts:
SarahStratton · 24/05/2011 13:21

I don't know Psam. Your profile pic, well it's just your generic profile pic tbh. But if you're about 43, and from Essex, then very possibly Grin

TechLovingDad · 24/05/2011 13:21

It'll turn out that he has a tiny cock and she was rubbing a truncheon he had stuffed down his kecks.

Psammead · 24/05/2011 13:21

Vicar Grin

Psammead · 24/05/2011 13:23

About 43?

You got that from my profile pic?

Shock

I am not about 43.

Psammead · 24/05/2011 13:24

It says my age on my profile!!

SarahStratton · 24/05/2011 13:25

I am 43 you daft sand fairy Grin

Psammead · 24/05/2011 13:28

I am 30.

I guess you don't know me. And I am not from Essex either.

There's nothing wrong with being 43, I just didn't think my profile pic loked that age.

ThatVikRinA22 · 24/05/2011 13:28

tld....he didnt send her a pic of his throbbing member did he... highly suspicious....

maybe he is worried about false advertising?

Thingumy · 24/05/2011 13:29

OP will have a good gauge of his cock size what with all the teenagery pant fumbling from yesterday.

FellatioNelson · 24/05/2011 13:30

Psammead don't panic - you look about 12 in that photo.

Psammead · 24/05/2011 13:35

I see your finger slipped and you meant 22. That's alright then!

Sarah, I guess it's a questiin which baffles many teens in that case!

BabyYoureAFirework · 24/05/2011 13:40

Her finger slipped? Just like the guy in the woods.... Shock Wink

Celibacyisnotforme · 24/05/2011 13:52

Look here. I'm getting cross now...

I have, in the past four years, had nothing but support from MN and you've got me through some really terrible times...
I posted during most of the 56 hours I was in labour...
you gave me breasfeeding advice at 2 and 3 and 4 in the morning...
you helped me through the darkest days of my PND...
And some of you - on this thread! Sarah & AF I'm looking at you! - helped me to leave my husband when his behaviour turned violent and nasty towards my DD. Sad

I do not deserve to be called a Troll or an advertising ply - I am not. If you didn't want to hear what I had to say you should have hidden the thread - I'd heard about the dark side of MN but never experienced the true "nest of vipers" until now. You've hurt me and I won't be back to tell you the rest. Your loss.

OP posts:
OldLadyKnowsNothing · 24/05/2011 13:53

Don't go, Celibacyisnotforme, I'm not joking when I say I believe you.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 24/05/2011 13:54

Some people just can't bear to think of women being happily sexual outwith a conventional relationship. You go for it! Grin

SarahStratton · 24/05/2011 13:55

I'm glad I helped you Celeb :)

BabyYoureAFirework · 24/05/2011 13:56

I believe you! Most people are just taking the piss. Don't go Sad

SarahStratton · 24/05/2011 13:58

And I'm sorry if my bantering upset you, I was only having a laugh :(

Thingumy · 24/05/2011 14:02

May I suggest you don't post in AIBU next time,after 4 years of mnetting you should know the score on this board.

luvvinlife · 24/05/2011 14:05

2/10 for flouncing.

I might go for a walk in the local park and stroke some of the wild red deer that cavort and frolic amongst random members of the public.

Psammead · 24/05/2011 14:12

Wait, no! I believe you!

I couldn't do what you are doing, but I don't think you are a troll. People get called troll for a lot less, mind you.

GetOrfMoiCase · 24/05/2011 14:16

Oh, we are only taking the piss a bit.

You KNOW what this place is like after 4 years, esp on AIBU

Please don't be hurt, i am sorry if you are upset but don't take it to heart.

hairfullofsnakes · 24/05/2011 14:17

psaamead you are gorgeous! i may turn... Wink

SarahStratton · 24/05/2011 14:24

Psammead is mine and Buppy's

itsnicetobenice · 24/05/2011 14:32

aw thats not fair i have just found this thread and loved it then i get to the last page of this --mils n boons- and you go and flounce tsk.

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