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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be gagging for a no-strings-attached one night stand?

1002 replies

Celibacyisnotforme · 15/05/2011 20:37

Excuse the pun... Grin

Name changed for obvious reasons... and it's not even Friday but here goes!

It's been three months since soon-to-be-XH was unceremoniously kicked out and our decree nisi has just been approved. This sounds like a short time to be moving on BUT the last time we were intimate was before DD was born - two and a half years ago!! I cannot tell you how lonely and miserable it was to be locked in a marriage with no love or sex... no friendship either - only violence, but that's another story that I've posted about on here before.

So I've been unintentionally celibate for a looooooong time and now that I'm finally free all I want is some SEX! It has been too long since I felt the warmth of another body and I am completely smitten with the idea of some affection. I do NOT want to get into a relationship of any sort - I am so happy being an independant woman, with just DD and myself to think about - none of that Wifework for me! All I want is dinner for two, loads of wine, candles and a good hard pounding from a throbbing member... is that too much to ask?

Any ideas on how to go about getting this will be greatly appreciated... Grin

[note to self - must stop reading Mills & Boon]

OP posts:
SarahStratton · 23/05/2011 17:13

I think she is BrianandhisBalls a bit of a fibber. Not that I'm not enjoying this particular fibbiness Grin

Psammead · 23/05/2011 17:17

indecisive just read the next 'worst towns' thread. It usually gets a few mentions Grin

cannydoit · 23/05/2011 17:17

or the worms have already started to sniff around...do worms sniff???

KatieScarlett2833 · 23/05/2011 17:18

Marking place due to enforced post-vasectomy-no-sex till he's firing blanks need for vicarious sex sagas.

ScarlettWalking · 23/05/2011 17:33

hmm wonder how it went

Celibacyisnotforme · 23/05/2011 18:24

GrinGrinGrinGrinGrinGrinGrin

OP posts:
Celibacyisnotforme · 23/05/2011 18:25

Not murdered... but pretty breathless all the same... GrinGrinGrin

So who wants the nasty? In lurid details or a precis version?

OP posts:
SarahStratton · 23/05/2011 18:26

Lurid details please.

KatieScarlett how long between the snip and blank firing please?

Celibacyisnotforme · 23/05/2011 18:30

Right - just typing up the tasty version.. will post shortly...

OP posts:
Gster · 23/05/2011 18:33

She's alive ! Hoorah

KatieScarlett2833 · 23/05/2011 18:34

Sarah Hi sweetie! Snip was end of January, first "sample" due to be sent in a fortnight for testing, then second sample 2 weeks later, yes, I am counting..........

cannydoit · 23/05/2011 18:34

hurrah for not dead celibacy

cannydoit · 23/05/2011 18:35

cant you just use condoms?

KatieScarlett2833 · 23/05/2011 18:38

Like your user name he cannydoit with a condom on any more, have a drawer full going spare including the flavoured ones.....

KatieScarlett2833 · 23/05/2011 18:39

...and a worn out rabbit....

SarahStratton · 23/05/2011 18:42

Shock it takes that long? Hmmm

Celibacyisnotforme · 23/05/2011 18:44

What an incredible afternoon! I got there early and waited in the car - to see if I could check him out before he got there, you know, and run away if he was minging and when I thought I saw him coming I went to the spot we'd chosen. It's called the Wishing Tree and is a huge oak in a lovely sundappled clearing... very pretty spot. As I rounded the bend at the last corner I see that he is already there - the other chap wasn't him at all! He was holding an orange Gerbera and had the most enormous smile on his face when he saw me...

First impressions - MUCH taller than I was expecting, at least 6'1 if not more, wearing a dark pair of jeans and a grey polo shirt. His body was amazing - long and lean, all muscles and sinews - his hair is a sort of browny-ginger and he has gingery stubble! He gave me a huge hug and a kiss on the lips when I reached him - Ladies, and gents, it was LUST at first sight... Yum yum!

We spread the blanket down in the clearing and it was the perfect afternoon... a slight breeze, sunny, warm, birds chirping, a red deer eating some grass - just surreal. I'd brought some strawberries, grapes and chocolate and he opened the wine... we sat cross-legged facing each other and kissed... and kissed some more... and kissed some more... then talked a bit, then kissed some more. I haven't been kissed that that since I was a teenager!! It was incredibly sexy because there were dog walkers and ramblers every few minutes, so we couldn't become too intimate - but my God did he make me moan!

We were fully clothed the whole time - I had on the silk dress and found some old lace hold-ups that I didn't mind trashing (thanks, Gster, they went down a treat!Grin) He stroked my legs and fed me strawberries... I ran my hands over his back & stomach under his shirt (so firm!! Wow!), kissing all the while - we ended up panting with our hands down each other's pants like a couple of teenagers... he kissed me so much I have stubble rash on my chin and am grinning like a Cheshire Cat!

We were there for three hours. It went by so quickly I cannot believe it... We stroked each other's faces, staring into each others eyes, describing all the things we would be doing to each other if there didn't happen to be a granny and a poodle twenty feet away... Aaaaah it was so much fun!

He walked me to the car, stopping to kiss me every few feet... he has told me ten times today how beautiful I am, how sexy, how he loves my hair, the way I kiss, the way I smell, how we fit together, the way I laugh, the way my eyes scrunch up when I'm coming... Grin

We have scheduled Round Two this weekend - XH is taking DD for the entire day - so my new lover is coming down from 8am till 4pm and we are going to shag in every room in my house... Yippeeeee!!! GrinGrinGrin

Who's a happy bunny now? MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE......

OP posts:
Celibacyisnotforme · 23/05/2011 18:45

PS phooey to all you doubters... I'm having the best fun of my life! No trolls here!

OP posts:
KatieScarlett2833 · 23/05/2011 18:46
Envy
SarahStratton · 23/05/2011 18:46

Wow!

But, he is coming to your house? Are you sure about that - wouldn't it be better to go to an hotel until you really know him?

[fuddy duddy emoticon]

mumnotmachine · 23/05/2011 18:47

Woohoo- sounds like you are gonna have several goes at a throbbing member!!!!

Sounds like you had a fab time- hope you have a fanny-tastic time on the weekend!!!

Thingumy · 23/05/2011 18:48

Hmm

What a fabulous catch,especially seeing as you picked him up on AFF.

As I said hmm.

TheSecondComing · 23/05/2011 18:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PigletJohn · 23/05/2011 18:50

but my shirt was blue

and I only kissed two feet, I didn't notice you had a few

wordsonascreen · 23/05/2011 18:52

Wow what a wonderful story !
Its literally unbelievable !

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