to be gagging for a no-strings-attached one night stand?

[Celibacyisnotforme]

Excuse the pun...

Name changed for obvious reasons... and it's not even Friday but here goes!

It's been three months since soon-to-be-XH was unceremoniously kicked out and our decree nisi has just been approved. This sounds like a short time to be moving on BUT the last time we were intimate was before DD was born - two and a half years ago!! I cannot tell you how lonely and miserable it was to be locked in a marriage with no love or sex... no friendship either - only violence, but that's another story that I've posted about on here before.

So I've been unintentionally celibate for a looooooong time and now that I'm finally free all I want is some SEX! It has been too long since I felt the warmth of another body and I am completely smitten with the idea of some affection. I do NOT want to get into a relationship of any sort - I am so happy being an independant woman, with just DD and myself to think about - none of that Wifework for me! All I want is dinner for two, loads of wine, candles and a good hard pounding from a throbbing member... is that too much to ask?

Any ideas on how to go about getting this will be greatly appreciated...

[note to self - must stop reading Mills & Boon]

Or decolletage even [wunk]

feck

so what did i do wrong there with the link?

those moobs made me go cross eyed

honest, guv

His boob are better than mine!

moobs even... I really should get back to work...pah!

I have had my pic on my profile forever.

I am something of a Nordic deity myself

Think Valkyrie. The type you see in the opera with industrial sized breastplate and wobbly chins

if you go down to the woods today you're in for a big suprise, if you go down to the woods today you better go in disguise (teddy emoticon)

awww no i checked you out earlier psammy you cant fool us you and your lesbian dom lover bup are stunning, enough said.

See them gaily gad about, they love to play and shout they never have any cares!

cos today's the day you likely to get anally fisted and pissed on or murdered.

Blimey cannydoit you seem to have two bald men hiding in your dress. Nice rack!

"cos today's the day you likely to get anally fisted and pissed on or murdered."

Oh no, that just made me do a horrendous snort laugh. Stop making me laugh at BAD THINGS, you evil shitwitch.

I know. I laughed and then shuddered. If the OP is posting for shits andvgiggles, the best thing to do would be to never post again. We'd all feel awful.

Sureyt Celibacy...You mean "no G-strings attached?"

yeah that twould be true we would be coming back everyday going please dont be dead in a ditch celibacy.

Oh I think celibacy died a death a long while back, at least in the town I grew up in.

Bada boom.

Which town is that Psammead? I might have to move...

@ shitwitch

So either her picnic has overflowed or she's buried under the tree.

Marking my place, I wanna hear about this picnic

Im still convinced she aint for real!

me too, she should be back by now (looking at watch worried)

OP said she would be back on after she's sorted dc bed and bath or concocted the next lurid chapter of her story

Possibly not for real.

I have a rather fat friend. Was at his place one day, it was like a complete fat person stereotype, he was surrounded by empty pizza boxes, take aways, crisp packets, sweet wrapers etc etc.

He was working at his computer, in his dressing gown, writing an article on slimming for a woman's magazine under a female sudonym.

I demand a picture of Celabacysnotforme !

Preferably not a crime scene though.