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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To put DD in a nursery even though I am SAHM?

129 replies

CJ2010 · 14/04/2011 16:18

It would just be for a couple of sessions a week, not full time. I have a few reasons as to why I want to do this -DD is getting bored at home even though I spend lots of time playing with her, the mum and toddler grps local to me are full up with a waiting list and tbh I don't really want to go to one. I would also like to crack on with my housework and get it all done in one go.

I feel so guilty though. My family are very anti nurseries and I never thought I would end up considering Nursery care, but as I am currently heavily pregnant I could do with a couple of mornings a week to just be able to get on with housework and chores.

Do your DC's enjoy nursery? Do you think they benefit socially from it? DD is 15 months.

OP posts:
grovel · 14/04/2011 16:19

Just do it.

jamaisjedors · 14/04/2011 16:21

It might be a good thing to get your DD used to being cared for by other people if you are going to have another DC.

dolldaggabuzzbuzz · 14/04/2011 16:21

YANBU It will do you both good

MumInBeds · 14/04/2011 16:21

If that is what works best for your family then it is no-one else's business but yours.

Personally I think at that age they don't benefit from it but they don't lose out either.

LaWeasel · 14/04/2011 16:22

I would send DD if we had the money. Not all week - just a few sessions. I think she'd get a lot out of it.

CharlotteBronteSaurus · 14/04/2011 16:23

i don't think there's any harm in it whatsoever. dd1 was in nursery 2 days at 7mo. however i don't believe she actaully benefited from the social aspect until she was 2.5-3.

worraliberty · 14/04/2011 16:24

It all depends on how well she settles or if she becomes anxious without you.

Also, be prepared for her to pick up bugs and colds and perhaps spread them to you and the baby.

FlamingJamie · 14/04/2011 16:24

As long as she doesn't dislike it and you need that time, don't feel guilty.

I can't really comment on nurseries at this age, but I did use a CM one half day/one day a week for my younger DS from when he was 9 months old, whilst the older one was a toddler at playgroup, so I'd get a few hour's respite. He loved it and was in a very loving, family environment. I did feel guilty at first but for me it was that, or cracking up, and THAT would have benefitted no-one. I'm sure if you find a good nursery it would be fine.

Another alternative is a Mother's Help - a friend had one of these when she had 3 DCs under 4 - they can clean or look after the DCs, whatever you prefer

LilQueenie · 14/04/2011 16:24

under the circumstances it would be a good idea for both of you. As for your family its not up to them its your choice.

OliPolly · 14/04/2011 16:25

I do it for my sanity!

Yanbu

melb6j4z0 · 14/04/2011 16:25

i will never regret putting ds1 into nursery, he was about the same age as your dd, he loved it so much he asked to go more often...
ds was much more socially aware after spending time with other children his own age and i got a chance to get everything done and relax.. i was also pregnant with ds2...
ds2 started nursery around the same age i will never look back! dd is booked to start so i can return to work.. she will only be 6mo,
its your choice of course and i dont think your being unreasonable...
if yur family are so anti-nursery why don't you ask the to help you out, dd gets time with gp/aunts etc and you get a well deserved rest... good luck!

Ephiny · 14/04/2011 16:25

Sounds like a good idea, if you can afford it, nothing at all to feel guilty about.

bringmesunshine2009 · 14/04/2011 16:26

OMG do it, esp before number 2 arrives, you got to sort the house, do the nesting and when number 2 comes you may jsut need a little time to REST. If you aren't sufficiently rested, the time you spend with DD won't be as good quality.

DS (17mths) LOVES nursery (a day and a half a week) has made a lovely little friend, they are so cute together and gets entertained all day, is worn out from all the playing so sleeps well, gets to do messy play we don't do so much of at home and active play in the garden (which I can't do as am 9 mths pg).

lljkk · 14/04/2011 16:29

Few sessions a week is perfectly reasonable, especially if you've no other breaks in daytime hours.

YouaretooniceNOT · 14/04/2011 16:33

YANBU!

Go for it. We all need a break.

Original poster
CJ2010 · 14/04/2011 16:42

Thank you for all your lovely messages, greatly appreciated.

I so need a break at the moment, feeling quite ill with pregnancy and feel very absent minded and fed up! Since having my precious DD I have never felt like this before, but I just feel utterly desperate for time on my own. Even DP is getting on my nerves. I have taken to going out in the evening for a drive, once DP is home to care for DD, just to be on my own!!

The Nursery care wont happen just yet, as there is waiting list, but I'm hoping that as I only need a couple of sessions a week and can be flexible with days, I will get a place quicker.

OP posts:
RitaMorgan · 14/04/2011 16:45

My 8 month old does two half day sessions while I'm at home. Wouldn't say he benefits particularly but he's happy to go, is safe and fed good food.

holyShmoley · 14/04/2011 16:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

exhausted2011 · 14/04/2011 16:48

yes, I did it and would recommend it, if it's right for you and your family.
go for it

poopnscoop · 14/04/2011 16:49

I'd say go for it, for sure! Your daughter will love it, and it'll give you a break.

Being able to be flexible is good, as you could fit in on a less popular day at the start, and then would stand in good stead of being allocated another day/s that might suit you best, when they become available (speaking as a CM with a waiting list).

umf · 14/04/2011 16:50

Great idea. Will benefit all of you.

Choose nursery carefully tho. IME independent, non-profit ones are much better than daycare chains.

plupedantic · 14/04/2011 16:51

It saved my relationship with DS!

diddl · 14/04/2011 16:52

I did it.

And sometimes I slept whilst PFB was there.

Why are your family so against it?

FabbyChic · 14/04/2011 16:53

A couple of mornings a week sounds like a good balance, and will give you time to do things at home, and if possible put your feet up when it is all done without the added worry of a child around your feet. Its good to make your children independent of you sometimes.

paddypoopants · 14/04/2011 16:56

I did it when ds was 14 months. It was either that or a cleaner. It saved my sanity.

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