to think there should be a written code telling you what you do if you go for a smear?

[2shoes]

Have to book one so got me thinking how bloody awkward they are, no matter how many time s I have had it done, I still am never sure what to do.
I am told to go behind the screen and take my clothes off...........
so you take your jeans and pants of, then what, stand there or hop on bed?
so you hop on bed and try not to fall asleep, what do you do with your legs.....

oh and the fave mn question, do you take your socks off??

the list goes on

socks stay on in winter anyway, show off minx pedicure in summer!
my practice nurse always gives very specific instructions involving me "popping off my bottom things" then "popping up on the bed" and "popping the blanket over me".
Tis all very bizarre since I don't think children need smear test

I keep my socks on, and keep my legs together when on the bed until the nurse is there brandishing the speculum. Then its heels together, up to bottom and 'floppy legs'

I loathe smears. I think I have a keloid scar on my cervix from having a suture to keep DD in place.
My last one involved being naked and in stirrup. thank goodness it was clear, only have to go again in three years.

At my GP's they usually put that paper stuff over the bed then pull an extra bit off and tell you to get undressed, lie on the bed and cover your bits with it.

and I leave my socks on

God i hate smear tests,it's always difficult for the poor nurse as i find it nearly impossible to relax.

I hate it; I have to bribe myself with ice cream and Wotsits.

I wear a long soft skirt and feel less vulnerable than taking trousers off.

I always wear a short, full skirt. Then I take off my leggings and underwear and lie on the bed until the nurse appears with the speculum.

I always take some wet wipes with me too, and use one just before the procedure to make sure everything's tidy!!

I don't understand any of these posts.

Does no one else arrive at the GP's naked from the waist down?

I can't be the only one, surely?

oh Shirley so glad to see its not just me

I'm sure that cuts down your waiting time, Shirley.

Yes, it's weird actually, because when I arrive there's usually a stampede of patients out of the door.

Strange.

I never understand the curtain thing, they always insist on drawing it to let you undress then pull it back once you're changed. I mean, they're going to be having a close up look, I can cope with them seeing me take my knickers off.

Mind you, at one of my tests, the nurse found that the lady before me had left her knickers behind in her rush to get out the door. I wonder if that goes on file "needs reminder to put on underwear" :)

:o

Are you meant to "trim" up first? I am due one and I am...ahem...not that manicured down there at the moment.

I do mine at home with an old lolly stick and a hand mirror. You can post the sample in a jiffy bag. HTH :)

Only if you want to ForMash. Those nurses must see all sorts.

(not licquorice allsorts, because that would be a stupid place to keep sweets)

I had an internal scan yesterday, and the male sonographer didn't actually look at what he was doing! Eyes firmly fixed on the screen as he reached round the sheet thingy. I nearly got the giggles wondering whether I would need to give him directions!!

I don't mind smears too much - and would much rather a medical professional actually be able to see what they were doing!

I keep socks on, and don't even worry about shaving my legs
Can't be bothered to worry about these things. Like Shirley says, my hairy legs must be much less grim than some of the unpleasantness nurses have to contend with.

I remember hearing a story once about a lady who was a bit panicked about being daisyfresh downstairs before her smear so she nipped into the loo and rummaged about in her bag to find a babywipe or something - they were all smushed up in the bottom of her bag but she managed eventually to sort herself out - went into the smear, assumed the position and was mortified when dr politely handed her a postage stamp which had somehow become entangled

A practice nurse I know says that all she really cares about on smears is not having to contend with smelly feet.

must book, must book - had letter a couple of months ago, but holidays, periods and unavailability have got in the way. And now I can't remember when my period is due so it isn't worth ringing up today for next week.

Can you imagine?

Can you imagine the things they must see.

Oh Lord. Like the women who do under carriage waxing. They have to wax actual bumHOLES.

oh god ohgodohgodoph

I keep my socks on!

Lol at 2blessed2bestressed - the nurse always goes on about popping things off and hopping on the bed!

When I started doing smears 10 years ago I made the fatal mistake of saying to a woman "if you can just take your clothes off and lie down on the couch, I'll get everything ready".

I then went back round the curtaind to find her completely starkers. And quite probably a bit cold.

I then amended my spiel - I now say "if you can take off your shoes, trousers and knickers"

And oh I could tell some tales about the things I have seen....