Calling Time on Wine - the next 100 days after the first 100 day reset | Thread 3: Continuing to support and navigate together.

[needastrongone]

As promised, a new thread.

As the title states, this is the third thread. It started for those of us who wanted some support and a safe place to navigate a 100 day alcohol reset. Most of us on the thread wanted more time and space than Dry January to fully reset and maybe reflect more on our relationship with alcohol than one month.

What we also found was the most wonderfully supportive and uplifting set of folk, all with the common intention of being AF from January for 100 days. A few blips along the way for some (including me at the beginning) but for those that have, we’ve tried to understand why they happened and most of us have continued to be AF going forward and managed 100 AF days since January.

We are going for another 100 (we all liked the idea of breaking being AF into chunks of time) and I don’t think it matters one bit if new folk want to climb on board and start from here, we can all offer a friendly and non judgmental place here.

@therockingbird funny I was just lying here thinking it’s 200 tomorrow. Like you, I cannot believe it. Never ever did I expect to get so far.
We may as well do the rest of the year methinks!
Im in!

Boom 💥 look how far we’ve come! Absolutely amazing effort @SwiftyFifty good to have you on board for the next round to 1 year!

Happy 200 days @therockingbird 🎉🎊🎉
I'll be joining you for the next 165.
I'm so proud of everyone of us and grateful for the support here.
This year has been one of the best I've had in a long time.

And to you @SwiftyFifty too, you may not know this but your posts have made me stop, think and not have a drink so thank you x

Morning all day 99 for me !!
Went to a hen do last night, so it was a bit awkward at first and I felt a bit lost sat there while everyone was drinking tons, but also I didn't really know most of the women there so I think I would have felt awkward anyway even if I was drinking!!
I was on tonic water and then had a couple of diet Cokes,
I did feel as if time stood still for a while, and I was getting bored because being with people who are drunk and really loud isn't that funny!
But then I was on the dance floor once the music started and I danced my socks off and I was fine,
Left around 10.30 which was more than enough for me, and I was home, make up off, and in bed for 11.30, it was great!!
I have realized that I don't need a drink to give me the confidence, if anything I think that robbed me of my confidence, it made me question who I was and that I could only have fun when I was drinking. So not true, yes I think drinking makes the night go quicker, but I think if I'd been with people who I knew it wouldn't have been so awkward for me at first!

@therockingbird @SwiftyFifty @Icecreamhelps @DaftPenguin girls you are all doing amazing and it's so good that you have stuck with this journey, such an inspiration to hear all your experiences. Shows us how it's never to late to get started xx

Well done on your hen night @PeacheyPeach I have yet to dance sober so I applaud you!
Thanks for your kind words @Icecreamhelps and ditto, I really relied on this group massively in the early days and still check it every day. All in all I’m happy right now, never navigating hangovers, much improved liver scores, significant weight loss and a love for Pilates. Just need to focus on my dance moves now lol. All this in half a year too. I’m proud of everyone of us on here

Morning @PeacheyPeach sounds like you had a good night! The dance floor is always my go to especially now it means I don't have to speak to people who are drunk and talking nonsense 😅
Congratulations on 99 days that is an amazing achievement your smashing this x

well done on your hennight Peachy.

199 days for me. truly never thought I would be here and feeling so happy. thanks to you all.

Morning Everyone.

Well done @PeacheyPeach on strutting your funky stuff on the dance floor and navigating a sober night at the hen party. And for the 99 days!

I’ll jump on the year train if you’ll have me! This thread and its lovely support has been instrumental in keeping me on track. I’ve loved how similar our journeys and feelings have been and how we are all slowly emerging into a new normal.

We had dinner with friends last night, but they are very light drinkers anyway, literally one good glass of wine with a meal sort and then soft drinks so it wouldn’t have even been a strong test in the early days.

@DaftPenguin I know a few of us have had the ‘is this it?’ sort of conversation in our heads, without the alchohol to escape into. I’m not sure I’ve fully figured this out yet but just take each day as it comes. I do know exactly what you mean though.

@needastrongone great to have you on board with us. I know im
not “ recovered” yet as when I go out with drinkers and they have one or two drinks, I still think in my head well what’s the point why don’t they just have more? I would etc etc.
Not sure if you know what I mean - half of me thinks if you’re going to drink then have loads and I know if I was still drinking, even at this stage, I’d be having more than one. I’m here to admit that what’s that saying about problem drinkers - one is too many and several is not enough. Yep that would still be me now!

Thanks, @SwiftyFifty - I do know what you mean. I had a lot of last year moderating, and got to the stage where even just one or two glasses of wine made me feel like shit the next day and not sleep - I might as well either have had a complete splurge or just not drank at all - I’ve chosen the latter. I’m tired today as we had a lot to eat and a late night but it’s a different tired that I can’t really describe.

Congratulations everyone on your landmark day counts 🎉🙌🏻

This thread is keeping me going at the moment… I’m meeting more resistance from friends and family now that it looks like I’m sticking to it.

@needastrongone and @SwiftyFifty I know exactly what you mean. I notice it even when I’m drinking something AF, the habit to keep sipping is strong! I’m not good at moderating and honestly, a couple of glasses is enough now to make me miserable the following day.

@PeacheyPeach you’ve made it through a bottomless brunch and a hen party now, that’s incredible 🤩

One of the most helpful insights for me was realising I didn't actually want a nice glass of wine with dinner. I just wanted to be the kind of person who wanted a nice glass of wine with dinner but what I actually wanted was a couple of glasses before dinner, 3 nice glasses of wine with dinner and a bottle by myself afterwards. I didn't want to moderate so I was forcing myself to become somebody I really wasn't. Between the choices of all the wine of none of the wine then obviously none of the wine was going to make me happier and healthier.

We went out to dinner last night with friends. One of them had a single glass of wine. the other stuck with water. DH and I had a really nice lemonade mocktail. Another helpful insight I had a while back was that most people don't actually drink that much at all and could actually take it or leave it.

200 days today - hurrah!

@anewyearthisyear yes exactly this. I realise now most people seem to be ok with one or two on a night out and they are done! I would have been horrified at so little and felt short changed and that it was hardly worth going out for. Other friends drink a lot more- at my level before, but never seem to ever have a hangover!

Hey all just checking in on 100 days!!
For those who have done 200 days I salute you and everyone else on their AF journey also we have got this!
@DaftPenguin I can't believe I've gone to these events and got through them couldn't have done it without the support off here xxx
Ive always admired people who would go somewhere and only drink a glass or two but I also would be thinking what's the point of that, i couldn't just have a glass of wine at a restaurant I would have to buy a bottle on the way home to carry on, if I opened a bottle of wine there's no way it would last for a few days , gone in an hour or two, which is just mental behavior!!!

Evening all, well done @PeacheyPeach on 100 days 👏huge achievement!!

I’m having a moment of reflection this evening.. summer off-site this week (Thursday & Friday) last year the wine was flowing at dinner and I started knocking them back.. not sure I remember much about the conversations past glass number 3/4 but I was up dancing then knocking back tequila before knew it with the roudy bunch..! I had the good sense to take myself to bed after shot number 8.. but I was still drunk when I woke up the next day. I literally passed out in my posh hotel suite. Did a 5k run at 8am then led a country walk through the woods to a lovely pub in soaring heat .. yep - I pushed on through. This year I’ve been asked to do the same 😆 The difference being, I’ll be completely sober the whole time. I remember coming home from last years event with terrible anxiety (what did I say to who/have I embarrassed myself)..! Took me all weekend to recover. I’m a fast blackout drinking girl, tiny size 8 so it doesn’t take much to hit the spot. I’m looking forward to it but know there will be raised eyebrows as I’m usually the one to get the party started so to speak. Truth is, I’ve spent years in this cycle, battering my body and poisoning my mind. If I’m honest I’ve never had a healthy relationship with alcohol! Oh good Lordy I’m in a reflective mood tonight 🥴

@therockingbird it's good to be reflective about the relationship we've had with alcohol.
The way we've let it control us or the way it would make us behave in a certain way that we wouldn't dream of usually, I think we can have a tendency to have rose tinted glasses about drinking,

I tend to associate it with sitting with my friends and laughing a lot, which are lovely memories, but I should also remember the times I've woken feeling rotten, with a lot of blank spaces in my memory from the night before, or being the loudest and most silliest person in the room and that just makes me feel so embarrassed and it's that what I never want to be like again
I had gotten myself into such a rut with drinking and I feel like I'm finally emerging from that , I don't think I've ever socialized without having a drink, it wouldn't have entered my head and yet Ive proved to myself that I actually can and it's not just going through the motions I actually enjoyed myself.

Morning.

Checking in really, I have very little to say, which is a good thing. I am happy with uneventful pootling along after the last four years post DH’s stroke. My most exciting news is winning £100 and a packet of biscuits at the local bingo yesterday. 😊

How is everyone? Trundling along nicely?

yes trundling along nicely :) I hope everyone is doing well. We are off to stay with friends at their holiday place on Saturday and if I did this last year I would be stressing about how much I could drink without everyone noticing how much I am drinking - now I am just thinking how nice it will be to spend time with them.

Hello sober friends! Checking in at the end of week 8.

@anewyearthisyear that is so reassuring to read. As friends realise that this is more than a sober month for me, everyone is finding it a bit weird - as am I to be fair - and at this stage I’m definitely feeling that kind of stress.

@PeacheyPeach congratulations on reaching 100 days 🎉

@needastrongone I would genuinely find that exciting! I never win anything and that’s a good prize 😂

@therockingbird it sounds like you’ve made a significant change, I hope it’s all going well at the event?

I have an all inclusive holiday coming up (yay!!). Normally I feel like I need to make the most of the money invested, so I eat too much, drink too much, and come home feeling like I’ve overdone it a bit. Let’s see how this one goes!

Just a quick post before work. I'm 200 days today 🎉.

@Icecreamhelps congratulations! Was thinking today what I love about being sober is always being able to show up the next day for whatever I have planned. Can’t begin to tell you the bizarre and outrageous excuses I used to come up with to get out of plans when I was hungover.

congrats @Icecreamhelps !

I've been thinking recently about how much drinking defined my life in the past - not that I was a party-goer but more getting it, having enough of it, hiding how much it mattered to me, dealing with feeling crap because of it, thinking of how I shouldn't be drinking. And now I am thinking a lot about how I don't drink which is great. But I can see a day coming when I'm not defined by being a non-drinker either. When I just am - me without any reference to alcohol at all.