Calling Time on Wine - the next 100 days after the first 100 day reset | Thread 3: Continuing to support and navigate together.

[needastrongone]

As promised, a new thread.

As the title states, this is the third thread. It started for those of us who wanted some support and a safe place to navigate a 100 day alcohol reset. Most of us on the thread wanted more time and space than Dry January to fully reset and maybe reflect more on our relationship with alcohol than one month.

What we also found was the most wonderfully supportive and uplifting set of folk, all with the common intention of being AF from January for 100 days. A few blips along the way for some (including me at the beginning) but for those that have, we’ve tried to understand why they happened and most of us have continued to be AF going forward and managed 100 AF days since January.

We are going for another 100 (we all liked the idea of breaking being AF into chunks of time) and I don’t think it matters one bit if new folk want to climb on board and start from here, we can all offer a friendly and non judgmental place here.

@HeadingforaHundred welcome! This was me constantly hungover, anxious, angry and resolving this thst and the other- daily. I was someone who did not feel the benefits until last week. The tiredness was shocking tbh but I was out with the dog earlier, full of beans, looking smart, speaking to everyone I met, loving life! Previously I would have been hungover, angry and resentful at having to venture out and longing to get back to sit ok the sofa all afternoon eating.

Its not been too tough my advice would be to read as much as you can sbout the dangers of drinking, whst it does to you etc etc. That really helped me as I’ve started to think of it as poison… whatever works eh!?
Good luck- it really is worth it

Thank you for the welcome 🤗

I was looking at the threads to join and the long established ones feel a bit intimidating. A hundred days feels like an achievable target for me if I can apply myself. Drinking at home is my biggest issue. I don’t want my children seeing me with a glass of wine in the evenings like it’s perfectly normal.

@needastrongone I have had a few dry spells. Pregnancy and bfing but that was years ago now and my relationship with alcohol has always been….problematic. I’m ready to try another break from it. My skin looks awful. I feel bloated and all my new year exercise goals have faded away.

@HeadingforaHundred we all feel the same about 100 days. It’s why we collectively decided to break it down into another 100 after the first - it feels less intimidating. I also like the notion that I read online about just telling yourself that you are not going to drink that day. That feels really easy, but the ‘not drink today’ days really do add up.

I too have a problematic relationship with alcohol. I used it as therapy after my husbands stroke 4 years ago, but I drank too much before then too in truth, the stroke just took it to a different level.

I’ve also found that I have different triggers, and you almost have to experience each trigger to find a strategy to work in place. I too mainly drank at home - in fact, I’ve never been that much of a social drinker - more pouring a glass while cooking and then taking the bottle through to the room after supper.

I felt the benefits pretty quickly, but others like @SwiftyFifty it’s taken a lot longer. Some of us have faltered - I drank wine after my father died recently after sitting with him all night - spoiler - it didn’t help…. Most of us have found it hard. Some have actually found it easy. All of us have benefited. And we’ve all found an unexpected and unbelievable support mechanism right here!

Just checking in to say HUGE congratulations to everyone who has reached the 100 days milestone. It’s an incredible achievement, you should all be so proud of yourselves.

Sadly I am not among you. After the best start to a new year I’ve ever had, I’ve fallen back into old habits. I drank two days last week and three days this week. I had a row with DH and he’s saying he wants a divorce. He’s been very difficult for years TBH and is a big drinker. In a lot of ways I think my life would be better without him. But I have no idea how I’d manage to hold down a job and childcare as a single parent. In fact I don’t think it would be possible. Things were so positive before I started drinking again and now look where I am. I’m so upset. Sorry for the rant x

@HeadingforaHundred welcome to the chat this thread has been a massive support.
I'm on day 97 just had two nights out after pretty much hibernating since the start of the 100 day challenge. I was worried I wouldn't have fun or would be too tempted to drink. However I had two amazing nights, no temptation to drink, and I can remember every moment. As I face each trigger head on and sit with the thought or feeling, I realise it eventually passes and the belief I had previously that a needed a drink changes.
Waking up fresh, sober without crippling anxiety is the best feeling.

Welcome @HeadingforaHundred we are a friendly bunch and all been where you are at right now. I must have been barking mad when I started this original thread 🤣 BUT I was just like you - navigating daily life through a blur basically! I drank daily only one bottle (so I told myself) .. one bottle too many. I was blocking out a very nasty marriage break up and solo parenting l. Truth is, I wasn’t being the parent I should have been. I was clinging on - going from day to day, waking up saying I’m not going to drink tonight then by 5pm I’d feel better and trick myself into thinking it wasn’t that bad. What a vicious circle! Anyway here I am on day 103! Over £1k saved and as fresh as a fricking daisy. It is possible if you really want to change, I’d read somewhere that dry January was just a waste of time and that in order to change your mindset 100 days was far more beneficial so here we all are. The group support has been amazing - lean on us all, we’ve literally held each other up - albeit virtually. My one tip which has been repeated often : play it forward and remember you WHY. Write it down and refer back to it when your having a wobble. Now then @freshstart2026 take a breather, one step at a time! Can this marriage be worked out? Are you enabling each others drinking? Do you really want to be with this person in 5 years from now? Things to think about! Alcohol may numb the noise right now but it certainly won’t solve anything. Remember the clarity that comes with a clear head and a good nights sleep! I never imagined being a single parent, here I am holding down a tricky corporate job and raising two teens. Truth is I’d been solo parenting for years anyway, not sure what the acre split is in your household but trust me - everything can be worked out. Keep posting, resist the fuck it button my lovely. xx

Welcome @HeadingforaHundred!
My experience of the 100 days is that the first couple of weekends are the hardest. If you can get through that, the rest get easier. The last month has flown by with hardly a thought for drinking.

I also found it easier to break it down. 100 days felt massive and unachievable back in Jan. So it was dry January first. Then I was aiming for 40 days/50 days/end of Feb. Tiny little milestones until I realised that I wasn't really counting anymore. The TryDry app is good too. I'm motivated by a check list, so checking off each day as dry and seeing the streak count increase was hugely motivating for me. Keep posting about it too to stay accountable ☺️

@freshstart2026 Sorry to hear about your marriage. I can relate, I often think my relationship is a bit dead in the water and life would be easier single but like you, I'm stuck with the full time job and childcare situation (and selfishly, gym time). I hope you find a way through that works out how you'd like it to. On the drinking...You did amazing for 90+ days, you can allow yourself this time without beating yourself up because it doesn't take away those 3 sober months. Plus, you were so strong with it, jumping back on the wagon now will be so much easier than it was back in Jan. You've got this!

Thank you for all the kind messages. I am reading them and taking on board the advice. I’ve also downloaded the try dry app and ticked off today. Off to bed now and will be glad in the morning that I can do the school run hangover free(!)

@freshstart2026 ive had so many stop starts with alcohol over the years. Keep trying, you've done 90 days and had a feel of the benefits so don't lose faith and be proud three months sober is a massive achievement especially when you live with someone who continues to drink.
Stick around and keep taking one day at a time. Even though I've signed up for another 100 days, I'm still in the mindset of waking up and checking trydry app for my tea cup and making a promise to not drink that day.

I will reply properly later, but just checking in to say it’s 3.30am, I’m awake and feeling absolutely wretched. I was parched so had two cans of coke, I feel sick and have a headache. I can’t sleep (did go back to sleep but woke again) and am feeling super anxious about the texts I sent to various people in a drunken state, stuff I may have bought online (can’t face checking my emails now). I have a really busy day at work tomorrow and will have to face it feeling hungover, ill and exhausted. Honestly, alcohol is just poison and it’s NOT worth it.

I’ve also got that dreadful heart racing really fast thing.

@freshstart2026 sorry to hear how you are feeling. It’s grim and surprising how quick it is to get back to all those awful thoughts etc ( believe me I know from past experiences)
Its tough with marriage struggles too - I really feel for you.
Start again today and try not to drink - as others have said you have done so well and been a real inspiration to me and VITAL to this group!
It’s a new day, a new week, you have over 90 days and a few recent blips. It’s never too late to get back on that horse.
Hope today is not too tough for you

@freshstart2026 you can come back from this feeling you've done it before. I think it's really brave of you to share and be honest by posting here rather than just disappear. Anyone of us could be in your situation right now it is so easily done.
If you've ordered something you don't want check see if you can cancel or return it when it arrives and as for texts people forget I've got a massive back catalogue of embarrassing texts or phonecalls. I've deleted them all and don't give them a second thought now.
I hope you feel better later you can do this 💪

Thank you @SwiftyFifty, @Icecreamhelps and everyone else for your supportive messages. As expected I’m feeling appalling today, but I’m not going to call in sick as this is entirely my own stupid doing.

What these five days of drinking have taught me is that it’s frighteningly easy to fall off the wagon and slip straight back into old, destructive habits, even after 90+ days sober.

Also, two nights I binged but even on the nights I was more sensible (I stuck to about half a bottle of wine) I still felt the effects the next morning. I was tired and not fresh.

It feels absolutely dreadful to be back there - 3am wake-ups, racing heart, huge anxiety etc - after coming so far.

As Swifty says, I am getting back on the wagon TODAY (which is day 98 for me). Thanks all for your support x

This is a silly question, but my liver results were normal when I had the tests a month or two ago. Could these five days have pushed them into the not normal range? I hope not 😢

Could I join please? I actually joined your original thread under a different name but fell quite early on...but have now just finished my third week with zero alcohol, having restarted, and feeling great. Really enjoying the improved sleep!

@CoffeeCupMilk The more the merrier, well done on three weeks the sleep is amazing isn't it!

Thank you! Yes, and the dreams. Sure there is a lot of healthy cognitive processing going on, rather than being repressed!

Morning folk. And it’s a lovely morning too. I have to run early in the morning due to life circumstances and some days that’s a real slog as it’s cold, dark, wet and grim. Today is still, sunny and beautiful and I’m clear headed as a bonus.

Well done on 3 weeks @CoffeeCupMilk- that’s fab. The dreams are so vivid aren’t they? I think probably one of the best things about being AF is the quality of sleep I get, I honestly can’t stay awake after 9.30/10pm and sleep until 6am. Even if I go for a pee, I’m straight back to sleep.

@freshstart2026 - I think you have been very brave to post. Very brave. It would have been much easier to fade away from the thread, but you haven’t - you’ve been honest and accountable. And you probably feel anxious and knackered and stressed today. I am really sorry about the marriage difficulties. That’s a tough path to negotiate. It sounds like you would be very capable of navigating any change in your situation with so much more confidence and capability than you think you would. You’ve also been a brilliant asset to the thread. We are on a journey (I know that’s a cheesy way of saying it) with alcohol, we have or will all come unstuck at some stage - if you can - and I know you can - get back on the AF path and keep going. Just promise yourself not to drink that day. That’s all you need to do.

Re liver results - I think the most sensitive one is the GGT is the most sensitive marker to alcohol intake and this can elevate levels for 48/72 hours. I’m absolutely no expert and I very much doubt you’ve done any long term damage to the good work you’ve already done. Be kind to yourself today. Hydrate. Have an early night. X

Adding support to @freshstart2026 , honesty to yourself is so important. Congratulate yourself on recognising the benefits of AF and your strength on staying connected and willing to keep going even after a blip. Sometimes we need to " test the water" to realise that alcohol isn't serving us anymore ( and is nowhere as good as our faulty memories and adverts would have us believe).
I'm an avid reader of posts and an occasional poster and @freshstart2026 , along with others,your posts are what gave me theinspiration to start this experiment.

Morning everybody 😊 I would really love to join you guys if this was ok x
My drinking has gone from drinking on the weekend to drinking nightly and I'm finding I'm using it as a bit of a crutch which is wrong,
After having about 5 double vodkas on Friday night I woke up feeling terrible but my first thought though was " oh I'll need to buy some more vodka for tonight" and I was shocked at myself, and have realized I need to reign it in and actually get some control.
Recently I had too much to drink at a family gathering and apparently I said a couple of things out of turn to some that were there, I actually don't remember this which is scary but in my head I probably thought I was being hilarious obviously not.
And now that's come to light I'm so embarrassed and it's made me think back to other social occasions were there's me thinking I'm the life and the soul of the party but I've probably making a show of myself, or talking about things that I'd never ever dream of discussing . And people are just watching on probably getting second hand embarrassment on my behalf
Back in 2021 I did the 100 day challenge on here and I absolutely loved it, I felt so fresh and in control, I looked great and just felt clean from within if that makes sense.
Now all I see is a puffy faced sluggish middle age embarrassed woman and I've had enough so I'm wanting to get control back.
I made the decision on Saturday that I'm going to have a reset ideally forever but at least three months for the start and have not had a drink on Saturday or Sunday, so I'm two days in already!!

If anyone has got to the end of this essay I applaud you !!

@PeacheyPeach OMG I so resonate with this. This was me before always thinking of where and when to get tonight’s supply. Cringing after a night out.
I am SO glad I’m doing this- I really needed to. You will find the support on here incredible and if you have time, read back on the other threads, we ve come so far and looking forward to following your “ journey”

Right. Gonna do this now. Another night of far too much booze. Drinking at home my main issue. Been terribly stressful with family illness (parents and children) but the reality is the booze doesn’t help and I need to remember that when I reach for a bottle

Hi @PeacheyPeach - I think we can ALL resonate with your post. Just a constant low level feeling of general shame at some of the things we did, said, bought, thought etc. A lot of us have thought the answer to our stresses is at the bottom of our wine glass. You’ve done it before so can do it again, and just because some of us have done the 100 doesn’t mean we are more marvellous and virtuous than those just starting. The important thing is you’ve started, and we can all help each other.

Welcome too @Goingfordietcoke - keep to the Diet Coke!

Yes, it is so nice being free from having to think about what's in stock for later, how much, etc...!