Calling Time on Wine - the next 100 days after the first 100 day reset | Thread 3: Continuing to support and navigate together.

[needastrongone]

As promised, a new thread.

As the title states, this is the third thread. It started for those of us who wanted some support and a safe place to navigate a 100 day alcohol reset. Most of us on the thread wanted more time and space than Dry January to fully reset and maybe reflect more on our relationship with alcohol than one month.

What we also found was the most wonderfully supportive and uplifting set of folk, all with the common intention of being AF from January for 100 days. A few blips along the way for some (including me at the beginning) but for those that have, we’ve tried to understand why they happened and most of us have continued to be AF going forward and managed 100 AF days since January.

We are going for another 100 (we all liked the idea of breaking being AF into chunks of time) and I don’t think it matters one bit if new folk want to climb on board and start from here, we can all offer a friendly and non judgmental place here.

Gosh it sounds like there are quite a few of us with the dog for sole company ( and previously the wine!)
I didn’t lose weight for ages but then I started to reduce what I ate and walked more and it’s come off. Without the hangover munchies it’s a lot easier to stick to. I saw a photo taken last year of me in a pub and my God the chins! The eye bags! The bloated face and body.
I realise my drinking was mainly to blot out my loneliness. She was my constant companion and as soon as I started drinking I could lose myself in her. She was a faithful friend lol but a bit too clingy!!
so lovely to hear from everyone again. Whether it’s one month or six, we are smashing it. People still can’t believe that I now don’t drink.

Morning all hope everyone is ok xx
With regards to weight loss, I did feel like initially I' lost some of the bloat but then quickly replaced the wine for the chocolate, this was a crazy few weeks I couldn't get enough of chocolate and I' don't usually have a sweet tooth but I was eating the huge bars of Cadburys most nights!! Now that need had also gone and I've been just been a lot more conscious of what I'm eating and I can definitely see an improvement!
I feel for the first time in a good few years just so much better and healthier,
@SwiftyFifty there is a photo of me from December when we were out for a meal that really shocked me, my face is so bloated, my eyes are tiny and i just look so bad, there's no way I want to go back to that!
Love the analogy of the clingy friend that's how it ends up becoming doesn't it, I say it's like the friend who gets you to do all the stupid stuff and stands by laughing at you!
Who wants that kind of friend in their life!

Morning.

So interesting reading all the updates and our reasons for drinking and also for it sticking re being AF.

I also have a dog who is also getting on a bit (nearly 13), but thankfully in excellent health. We lost our other one last year and it’s awful.

Ticking along here, melting slightly in the weather - but no desire to drink thankfully.

Genuinely nothing to report - which is a good thing I think. Glorious monotony!

Hello all, back for my 6 week check in 😊

It feels much less isolating when I can dip in here and see how everyone’s getting on. @needastrongone I’m finding that too, it’s so encouraging to read everyone’s experiences.

Today I had my toughest challenge yet. Out for tapas. The sun was shining. It felt like being on holiday. My brain was insisting that literally the only thing it is possible to order in that situation is a large glass of red wine.

i didn’t, i ordered sparkling water. And when it came, weirdly it hit the spot, I didn’t feel like I was missing out any more. It was the thought of it and what it represented. It was the first time I doubted whether I have it in me to do this long term.

Hi all
Just checking in on 90 days !! I can't believe it, it has literally flown by!

Well done to you all , keeping going and just getting on with it xxx

Apparently it's been alcohol awareness week, there's so many people who are sober or sober curious now , even though we live in a country dominated by a drinking culture I do think there are more and more people who are looking for something else, I think having somewhere to talk about this and being able to express how I'm thinking about it without embarrassment or feeling like I'm going to offend someone has been great for me ,.
I'm so grateful that I found this group because it's really helped me keep on track xxx

@PeacheyPeach i didn’t realise that! I feel the same, you’ve all really inspired me.

Today I’m not feeling well, and resisting a large brandy for medicinal purposes. The number of times I have to choose not to drink each week makes me realise I was drinking more than I thought!

Checking in still dry

Will read the thread back and catch up. @DaftPenguin hope you feel better soon. We'll done on sticking with sparkling water especially in this heat.

@PeacheyPeach I didn't know it was alcohol awareness week. I have noticed since being dry how many people don't drink alcohol both in real life and celebrities its a lot more common than I thought.

@SwiftyFifty your relationship with your dog sounds lovely. Sorry to read about your feelings of loneliness.

@needastrongone glorious monotonous life indeed who knew it could be so good.

Another one here who looks back at puffy photos of myself and can't believe the difference. My obsession this week has been a tall glass of water with lots of ice and a slice of lime so refreshing.

Well done on 90 days @PeacheyPeach time has certainly flown.
@needastrongone I am also really enjoying the monotonous routine of life without alcohol the problems it caused me and those around me feel so abstract now. It's as though I was completely detached from reality.
@DaftPenguin hope you're feeling better, it's so insidious how the alcohol industry has given every situation a reason to have a drink.
I'm off all weekend and I'm up nice and early to get a few jobs done around the house before it gets too hot. Hope everyone has a lovely weekend.

Morning all, checking in on day 194 alcohol free 💪 another England win without a drop .. didn’t even think about having a glass or two! The benefit of waking up with a clear head and restful sleep is far more appealing than the alternative. Well done to all those still going strong, I to have looked back at photos of me looking flushed and puffy 🫣 people must have known I was tackling a drink problem - did they just not care. I have many friends drinking far too much and that’s their path, I stay in my lane and remind myself often not to preach.. I’m away next week for three nights at a conference (don’t ask how I’ve ended up two speaker panels). Could I have done this with a daily hangover - who knows. I’m packing my gym gear and a good book, how life has changed lol. Happy Sunday all xx

@therockingbird we re the same days wise. When I added the 200 days to my calendar it seemed a long way off but now it’s in 6 days!
Well done you. I think we’re similar as I’ve not had cravings despite the heat/ football etc and am now a Pilates person!
I went to the pub with a friend yesterday. She had five large wines - I’m so glad that’s not me anymore as it would have been. By drink four it was starting to get a bit repetitive and I would never ever judge but to me now that seemed like a lot. I recognise that I was one of those drinkers - I never had enough. Whereas now I’m surprised she kept going, back in the day I would have too plus then got a bottle on the way home. I’m actually horrified at how much I used to drink.
I know some of us have struggled with this particularly, but when you can learn to be by yourself happily ( without the need to numb or self medicate or just alter your mood) this I believe is the key to not drinking ( well for me) I was home alone last night whilst the world was out watching the football and I felt content and actually relieved I wasn’t out getting smashed. I played it forward and my morning dog walk and Pilates class are now way more important to me. ( aware I may sound like a pretentious prat here)
So lovely to hear from you @therockingbird

Day 193 for me and this day next week I'll hit 200 days.

Wishing everyone a great Sunday!

@SwiftyFifty it's fascinating isn't it to see other people drink and realizing just how we don't want that in our life, how much fresher and cleaner our lives feel without alcohol or hangovers,
I woke up early morning Sunday, and one of my kids was just coming in from a night out, now obviously we've all been there as young ones I imagine but to me now the thought of being hungover and spending all day feeling rough is just so grim to me , but thinking about it that was me only a few months ago ( not the coming in at 6.30 on a Sunday morning!) but the idea of wasting days feeling ill through drinking to much the night before, I just wish I could go back in time to my 16 year old self and say don't even start to drink, don't think it's the best thing to enjoy yourself, keep away because this is going to get you into lots of trouble and scrapes over the years and you'll put a ton of weight on!!!!

@PeacheyPeach funny enough I have no regrets whatsoever drinking in my teens/ my 20s/ 30s and even 40s. I wasn’t a bad drinker then, never the most pissed etc.
I wish I had binned the wine though and had a serious word at 50 but instead I seemed to drink more from then on and my tolerance became worse.
Nit something I ever say as it’s always used now for everything but I do think it’s harder for women to drink ( to excess) during before and after the dreaded menopause

Checking in dry on day 194 only 6 days left until the 200 dry days challenge is completed.

Thought I would share this alcohol free rose fizz https://www.aldipresscentre.co.uk/product-news/aldi-returns-best-selling-alcohol-free-sparkling-rose-that-is-57-cheaper-than-kylie-minogues/

I had a few glasses of it yesterday at a bbq found it a really refreshing light drink especially in this heat. Hope you are all getting on well.

I've not been in here for a while but I'm happily AF still. One of my targets was to be a non-drinker at DD's wedding and dh said he would do the same. Well, we managed it both of us! It meant I really enjoyed myself and we also didn't need to wait ages for a taxi, we just went home in our own car which was amazing (with other family members who had a baby). I had a small sip of alcohol for the toasts, but then it just sat there and I had water. I honestly didn't miss it at all, which is fantastic. I will allow myself a drink now if I feel like it, but not sure I really want to.

@thisoldcity wow that's amazing that you stayed Af at the wedding. You must feel so proud of yourself that you got to take the whole day in and enjoy it without any feelings of anxiety or having been out of control how fabulous 🤩
@Ladymuckypuddle I've had that zerosecco from Aldi, it's nice and refreshing isn't it and if lovely for sipping in the garden! Tesco do a lovely one toit actually tastes like cava !
Well done everyone on coming up to 200 days what an achievement xx

@thisoldcity that's amazing well done on af wedding. Hope you all had a great day and have lovely memories.

@PeacheyPeach it's really lovely I was impressed with it. Oh thanks for the Tesco recommendation will try that one. I'm not really into af drinks but these are nice in the summer months and something a bit different from the same old drinks.

Checking in still dry. Nothing to report just happily plodding along with life. Long may it continue.

Morning all x
I'm going on a hen do tomorrow, Whatsapp group keeps pinging about how they are going to be drunk and drinking etc, I'm just keeping quiet about that!
Am slightly dreading it now as it's getting nearer, I've emailed the place to find out the Af options, it's not looking that promising. No af processco or wines, just soft drinks and AF beers,
Do not fancy drinking diet Coke all night, I'm not going to put any pressure on myself to stay the whole night, think if I start to get fed up I'll leave!!
It's also a big group of people that I don't know which is adding to my feelings of discomfort, I'm only going as it's my cousins, and she is really excited I'm going,

Morning.

@thisoldcity - well done on hitting your target re not drinking until your DD’s wedding. It’ll be interesting to see how your feelings change now re drinking, but whether you do decide to drink or not, the fundamental thing is that you’ve changed your relationship with alcohol, well done.

Morning @PeacheyPeach - I don’t think I’d look forward to a hen do whether I was drinking or not!! Good luck - I don’t have any suggestions re AF alternatives but yes, perhaps you might need to not stay the whole night.

Plodding on here. Slept badly last night post football and very glad I wasn’t hung over as well.

Another thing I’m glad about that is a small advantage re being AF is that I’m always hydrated, or mostly so, even in the mornings (obviously we are all a bit dehydrated post sleeping all night). I realised recently how dehydrated I probably was when I collapsed into bed most nights after drinking wine all evening. Another inward cringe re past behaviour to add to the list.

Have a lovely weekend folks. X

@PeacheyPeach that's a poor show from the venue the majority of places now have af drink menu with good options. Think you have the right plan of staying until you can and leaving early if you feel like it. Hope it goes well and you enjoy yourself.

I'm not a hen do person myself so getting through it sober is going to be torture haha
I have my plan for leaving already in hand, surely they won't be missing me once they are knee deep in tequila slammers!!
I'm still going to get my glam on as usual and make myself feel nice but I really could do without it !!

I'm trying to decide if I'd dread a hen do more if I was drinking or sober!

Order tonic and lime and do your best Peachey! I do love the AF beers though (but 2 would be loads). And think you'll wake up the next morning with nothing to worry about except were you too lazy to take your eye make up off before going to bed :)

Hello! 49 days - 7 weeks - today!

@PeacheyPeach good luck with the hen do! You smashed the bottomless brunch so I’m feeling confident on your behalf!!

@thisoldcity well done on the wedding - it sounds like it was a really positive choice which is fab.

@Ladymuckypuddle I’m going to try that rosè! Thanks for the recommendation, I always find it hard to know what to choose and often end up just going with sparkling water instead.

This weekend we have a house party, I’m on cocktail making (it’s been arranged for a while)… I hope it’s not awkward when it becomes obvious I’m not drinking them, but still not enough to make me want to go back to it. I’m aiming for 100 days now and then I’ll see how I feel.

Benefits I’m noticing… not having to write off parts of my week to accommodate drunkenness/hangovers, not a single terrifying wake up since that first week, feeling generally fitter and less bloated.

Something I wasn’t expecting… I’m completely re-thinking my life. I feel boring, and far less tolerant of things that I don’t want to do without the promise of alcohol to blur the edges. I knew it would involve an identity shift, but I guess I hadn’t thought about what that actually meant.

Evening all .. so lovely to see so many still going strong 💪 super proud of everyone. checking in on day 199 😲 wow wow wow!! Tomorrow will be pledge number 2 of 200 days complete. I’m honestly absolutely blown away. Never in a million years when I started that very first thread did I think I’d be writing this post. Been away with work all week, everyone knocking back the booze and I wasn’t once tempted. A couple of nights I was in bed by 10 🤣 to be fair I had several panel speaking sessions so a level head was needed, in the past I’d have pushed on through - full of anxiety and winging it. I’m still a winging it kind of girl but do it in a far more relaxed manner if that makes sense. I never prepare for speaking events, but it felt different somehow this time round. So.. the next hurdle needs to be set if I can do 200 days, another 165 won’t hurt. New goal set - one year, alcohol free!! There.. I’ve said it. Happy weekend all xx