On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstaining - new thread for summer 2024

[Bigbus]

@amdone123 @touty @coppergate7 @swannyb
@Hohofortherobbers @YoghurtPotWashingMachine @Mj20 @Freezingfeetwarmheart @Needtokickthehabit @OhShitImNearly40 @Nowstrong @enoughisenough4

The last thread got full before a new one could be started. I’ve tried to tag some of the regular posters but I don’t really know what I’m doing! Let me know if this works and please tag people I’ve missed.

@NextPhaseOfLife glad you had a nice meal and had a great time , for me I need to enjoy a proper night out without the need to drink loads.
@Liverpool52 the better sleep and having energy next morning is lovely , I still miss drinking at night so much but the benefit of the next morning and day outweighs (at the moment) hope your week work isn’t too bad and next weekend be here before you know it
@Amdone123 hope you had a great holiday and so well done for reining it in , at this stage I don’t think I will on my holiday but it still 10 weeks away.
@Needtokickthehabit don’t be too harsh on yourself . One of my main reasons alone with mental health issues was that was when I was drunk I would think , say and text horrible stuff to my partner. I’d either regret it next day or my ego wouldn’t allow me to back down from what I’d said and it would carry on. I would always turn to the drink when I was down even knowing what it would result in , that night and next day but would I stop , no! All we can do is our best that day and that’s all we can ask of ourselves. At the moment im in ok place but last Sunday I was in bits drinking silly amounts and I cried all way to work Monday. Yes being af has helped so much this week but what happens when there is crisis or whatever, If I’m honest with myself I would probably have a drink as I don’t know nothing else. Hope you have a decent sleep tonight and work is fine for you , keep posting as I only been on here 7 days and it’s helped me no end.

@Amdone123 regarding Mounjaro, honestly, I can say to you that I have not had a drink for eight days and normally I would've had a couple of glasses every night. I haven't given this a thought. I don't really think about food except as fuel and if I start to eat something I can leave half the plate if I don't want it. Apparently it gets rid of the urge for cigarettes as well. It affects the reward centre in your brain so you don't see these things as treats or things to look forward to even. I know it looks as though it's expensive but I can't tell you the peace of mind it has brought me. I am pretty sure that over the month it will pay for itself and I think it would for anyone who smokes and drinks every day.

@determinedtomakethiswork thanks for the information. Glad it's working for you.
I'm on holiday again in 8 weeks so I'm going to see how I get on regarding weight and alcohol, but it's definitely something to think about.

My holiday taught me that I want to be healthy, fit and active. I loved hiking even in the heat.
It also taught me that I can have a good time without it - we laughed so much and none of it was due to alcohol ( my sister doesn't drink).
Also, a few restaurants didn't serve alcohol due to religious reasons which I obviously respect, but it did make me think how it's such a habit ordering wine with food.

@Jbob1976 you're doing really well. I hear you regarding the possibility of drinking if a crisis occurs - one thing I've learnt is that if I drink when I'm upset / angry / pissed off, the problem is still there except now I'm upset/ angry / pissed off but with a headache !
I journal a lot - do you do that ? Helps me put it all into perspective.

Regarding the restaurants , I actually ate ! I dont always eat here - I drink and push my food around the plate 🥴

Hi @Amdone123 I know the consequences of drinking when upset angry and pissed off yet it’s never stopped me in the past, the opposite in fact as I get that I don’t care attitude. I then pay that night or next day and it has rolled on. No I don’t journal really , I talk a lot to myself in my head but again that could be a problem. So far the “buzz” of waking up next morning feeling fine, clear headed and not desperately down is out weighing urge to drink , I’m hoping that lasts. I’m starting to think now how I’ll be once I have that first drink again ? And if I can restrain ? One day at time and today has been good day, nothing special but I have felt calm again.
I really want to have fun without alcohol being involved , hard when all my adult life going out has involved booze. My issue I associate drinking as the fun and not what I’m doing ? Daft concept but it’s what it’s been. I hope everyone has had a good start to the week.

@determinedtomakethiswork can I please ask about the Mounjaro? What is it please ?
Not doing very well here need a kick up to stay AF the rest of the week. It's that finishing work moment when I put dinner on ..... need to plan ahead and do something else. Walk the dog or go for a swim. Haven't even got to cook this evening as made a huge chilli last night and there's plenty left.
Have a good day everyone .

Evening everyone , how are we? First big wobble tonight, I became anxious because of situation at home. First time I really craved a drink , I was indoors on my own and there is alcohol here, I was so so tempted but just kept pacing and pacing until I calmed down . So far resisting but feeling on edge and don’t feel like going to bed yet.

@Jbob1976 well done for resisting so far and don't give in now!! You've come so far and you won't thank yourself tomorrow! How about something funny on TV or a good book or a game on phone to distract you? X

@theflyingcow thank you, I’ve put the tv on and trying to watch it , I won’t give in as I know tomorrow I will be gutted and feel awful. Think I may try and just go bed and eventually nod off. Been feeling really quite positive last few days but I guess only a moment away from slip and still
shows first sign of trouble and I want to reach for a drink

@Jbob1976 how did you get on ?
I can't have alcohol in the house, it just gets drank. My sister's the same with chocolate whereas I have lots of that in and don't touch it.

I had half a bottle of red wine last night - because it was there. It wasn't even mine. Dh likes a small glass every blue moon, but I drank it anyway.

I still consider it a good day though. I had to pop to the shop on the way home from work for powder - I took just £5 - leaving money / cards at home really works for me.

@Amdone123 Thank you for your message , no I didn’t drink thankfully. It was by far the strongest urge yet. There’s loads of alcohol in our house as my partner drinks. I also watch a podcast last night on alcohol explained by william porter , although brilliant it really scared me. I realised that I may never achieve what I want to and that maybe I need to give up for good and that terrifies me. I always look for quick fix and thought do a month dry, then only drink weekends and that’s that, but I realise that may not happen as last night showed I drink for all the wrong reasons. I have loads of will power and will continue to be af for now, scares me though once I start again can I moderate ?

@Jbob1976 well done ! You certainly do have willpower, and strength and determination that's so admirable.
The book is supposed to be really good, too.
Lots of people have found on here that abstaining is best, moderating being too difficult. I think it starts well, then gradually creeps up again til we're back to square 1.

Try not to think too far ahead - Just For Today, I Won't Drink is a good mantra.

And yes, the thought of giving up for good is terrifying. It's why most people don't even try - head in the sand scenario.
But, you've already shown that you can resist the urge, so who knows how your future could pan out ?

Hi @Amdone123 I beat a gambling addiction before through sheer will power and breaking the habit but this is on a different level if I’m honest. That’s my worry the creeping up and up, also I am loving the feeling of not feeling constant lows and so anxious , yet last night I felt so anxious again with no booze for 9 days! One day at a time is the correct way to look at it. I don’t doubt I can limit my drinking when out but can I will it be all I think of when out and not relax and just enjoy that moment ? I have phone appt this Friday as I self referred to nhs for it. After watching the podcast it is such an eye opener but it scared me too. I’m at work now and although I’m fine I do think about it all the time. Hope you having a good day and I appreciate yr kind words

Morning, folks, how are we all doing?
Well, I drank last night. Had 3 af days - so not too bad. I made a decision to drink, took my purse to work etc, so it felt a bit different, like I was in control. Don't know if I'm kidding myself but hey ho.
I had a lovely evening, watching the tennis. And, I did no stupid texting so there's progress.
I don't want to drink this weekend though so I'm aiming for at least 5 af days as we're eating out next Tuesday.

Hi @Amdone123 are you feeling in control when you drink? I know it’s hard but if you can stick to a set of af free days and it works for you then great. How do you find the weekends being at? Day 11 af for me, feeling calm and already posted the feelings that I’m experiencing out weighing those when I do for now. Football starts tomo and I know that’s going be tough. I don’t know about anyone else but the drinking or not at the moment is constantly in my head now. I guess that’s when you know it’s definitely a problem.

@Jbob1976 11 days is brilliant, keep going. I know it does take up a lot of headspace but I suppose that's part of the process.

I feel in control when drinking I think. I only drink what I've got in - I don't have to run out for more or anything.
My (other) sister commented that I often say on a Wednesday, that I feel like a drink. So true. Weekends af I've done many a time and quite enjoy them. I get loads done.
Sundays are very tricky - I think it stems back from teaching and not looking forward to Monday!

I do like the idea of several days af then having a drink. I feel better when I have a break.
Regarding the football, I always drank when tennis was on, but gradually I stopped and bought af drinks instead. Now, I sometimes drink when it's on ( like last night), but not always.
Have you tried any af beers ? They're really good, unlike af wine.

Hi @Amdone123 i feel different towards the end of the week and find it harder as I have always associated weekends with heavy drinking . Yeah I had a couple of at beers, I like the Aldi one, it’s not bad at all tbf. I think whilst I stay af I’m ok, it’s like I haven’t regressed but as soon as I have a beer I will worry that I’m back on it. My aim is 5 af days a week long term , I don’t know if that’s possible ? It’s crossed my mind to give it up forever but I know that I never will. I wish I could enjoy the beer and the buzz you get without the fall out that night next day and so on etc

Hello, all! Long time no speak…

How are you doing?

I returned from my big holiday a couple of weeks ago - I drank almost daily whilst I was away, and have struggled a little to reign it back in since getting home. I lost a bit of weight in the lead up to the trip, but put it all back on whilst I was away, which was expected but disappointing nonetheless.

I’m feeling quite uncomfortable in my skin right now but trying to turn this into motivation to exercise more discipline again…

I have already drank 3 nights this week so my goal is to stay alcohol free this weekend. I think I can do it! 🤞🏻

I am going to have a catch up on the thread now and see how everyone else is getting on.

Can I join too please? My wine consumption is far too much and my attempts to cut down have failed along with my dieting aims. I have decided I cannot lose weight and drink wine so as I can hardly fit in any of my trousers, the wine and weight have to go!

Today has been the first day I have not had some form of alcohol, for ages. To be AF on a Friday night would be unknown for years. Tomorrow out for most of the day but have volunteered to be 'sober driver' so I can watch everyone else drinking. I am in NZ so Friday is almost over and I have done DAY ONE😁

@FiveShelties hi, welcome and well done on Day 1.
We often say on here that drinking ( wine, especially) just sabotages all your good work, weight wise.
Great that you can be the driver. All these little things will help you.
Will you try af drinks or just drink water / soft drinks ?
Is the weekend the time when you'd drink ?

I dodged a bullet today. Sat this morning thinking it's weekend, have a drink tonight blah blah. I was so close. Deliberately left my purse at home, so I'm not tempted. I drank on Wednesday, that's my lot !

Thank you @Amdone123 for the welcome.😀

Tonight is a dinner function and I am planning on water/soft drinks. I used to only drink at the week-ends but it has become a far too regular occurrence during the week now. I keep losing the same 4 or 5 pounds and then putting them back on again over the week-end, when wine is often accompanied with cheese and biscuits or ice cream etc. I have gained around 11 pounds since November and at this rate it will be another 11 pounds before this November, so it has to go!

@FiveShelties yes, I'm the same. Used to be a weekend thing then it really does creep up on you.
Mine is more hangover food - I eat to stop feeling sick. Honestly, it sounds pathetic when I see that in writing.

Well, a good choice made last night - I'm so pleased. I'm now up early, and fresh, getting ready for my granddaughters. I'm not sure about drinking today. Tennis is on all day and I've no real need to go out so I'm going to try to abstain today.

How are we all doing ?
@Bigbus @Flumpywoo @Freezingfeetwarmheart @Jbob1976 @Liverpool52 @Needtokickthehabit @NextPhaseOfLife @Nowstrong @OhShitImNearly40 @Shiningout @Swannyb @determinedtomakethiswork @enoughisenough4 @mumzof4x @theflyingcow

@Amdone123 well done!

Sorry been a bit quiet on here but have been reading posts. Doing mostly ok here, I did have a bottle of wine the night before last but in the last almost 3 weeks I've had 2 non AF days which is a HUGE improvement.

I'm away this weekend and catching up with two friends, but one isn't a big drinker and the other is abstaining atm as it's better for her mental health so shouldn't be too difficult. I'm meeting a client this morning though and they have suggested the pub afterwards. Haven't made a decision on that yet but I am leaning towards something AF.

How's everyone else?

Welcome @FiveShelties, well done on Day one. You can do this and we all have our bad moments, then get back on the moderating. Any progress is better than not addressing it and carrying on as we were.

This will be Day 6 of being AF but I'm going to have a drink tomorrow for Father's Day. Thursday night I was so tempted to have one with my mum but last weekend I had a drink Sunday with someone I don't see that often and went over my 14 units a week target (when I hadn't planned to), so I stayed strong. It was worth it though on Sunday, we had a lovely time and I didn't get stupidly drunk as I had to get the train home. It also kept me on track this week and tomorrow I should hopefully not go over 14 units...I hope! I know the healthy NHS guidance isn't to drink all the units in one day but I'm ignoring that right now, it's still better than drinking tomorrow AND other nights this week.

@Amdone123 well done on not taking your purse with you so you couldn't have a drink. Good work!

I always mean to tag others but after I start typing I forget who said what and don't want to say something to the wrong person lol.