On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstaining - new thread for summer 2024

[Bigbus]

@amdone123 @touty @coppergate7 @swannyb
@Hohofortherobbers @YoghurtPotWashingMachine @Mj20 @Freezingfeetwarmheart @Needtokickthehabit @OhShitImNearly40 @Nowstrong @enoughisenough4

The last thread got full before a new one could be started. I’ve tried to tag some of the regular posters but I don’t really know what I’m doing! Let me know if this works and please tag people I’ve missed.

@Amdone123 Glad you enjoying your holiday, must be so hard to moderate on holiday , I have all inclusive booked for August , long way off so see where I am? Yes, I want to set ground rules , at least 4 ideally 5 days at a week and not drinking alone like I have done. I’m better tonight than I thought , first af free weekend bar illness in 30 years ! Did make me chuckle about you cant win! I’m just going to drive when I go out in next month, that way takes temptation away, hope the sun is shining

@Jbob1976 - Don't think about August yet. Just think about today. You're doing really well.

Oh, the sun is shining - it's actually making me drink less. I'm having about 4 litres of water a day ( it's 38 degrees). Not much room for wine.
I know if I drank wine during the day, the nights would be horrendous, so I haven't.

Lots of us on here 'play it forward '. Just thinking about how your choices today affect tomorrow, etc. Helps me loads.
Stay positive ❤️

Well I have given in to the wine witch 🤦‍♀️

Morning all! Don't really know if I slept well or not, am so stiff will be downing a couple of paracetamol before going to meditation, as sitting will be too painful otherwise. Who said no pain no bloody gain? I think I was slightly over enthusiastic squat wise.

Otherwise feeling holier than thou. Was invited to lunch yesterday, was driving, they served me a glass of rosé, I pretended to take a sip, to be polite and only drank my water. Went for a digestive walk in the heat, mind you, should we complain when the sun comes out at last? Well I hobbled along.

Having a quiet weekend for once, then family are staying for 10 days. Will stay AF before they arrive, so hopefully will be AF day 4, then will play it by ear. Will be driving a lot, so good excuse to stick to AF beer.

@Amdone123 glad you're enjoying your holiday, I feel for you that you're still feeling so down after losing your dog. Time will do it's job, and all that. Know how you feel about never being how others expect you to be. Can't win. I just get snide remarks such as "how long will you be able to keep that up for?" Or "well you've got nothing to show for all that sport that you seem to be doing". ARRRGGGHHH! My favourite last one was, upon buying a size smaller T-shirt than usual, was, "well when you put it all back on again, you can give that to XYZ". So encouraging. Must get to the swimming pool sometime in the weekend to swim off my stiffness,
otherwise I'll get the "sport doesn't seem to agree with you" .

@enoughisenough4 sorry about that. Don't worry. It doesn't matter. Climb back on the wagon, head high. Off you go again.

@Jbob1976 you're doing fine. One day at a time. Don't stress about the future, it's not here yet, don't stress about the past, it's gone and you can't change it. Enjoy the present. Says she who is already stressed out about sibling's stay.

Well I'm going to hobble off to take my paracetamol and try to meditate through the pain and drag myself to the pool after my ton of chores.

Wishing you all a pleasant Saturday, sending positive, even if stiff, vibes better than a stiff drink, stay strong. Kick those WWWs to the curb! 💪

Morning all, morning @Nowstrong

You are an epic woman. Those muscle aches and DOMS are a badge of honour!

Those snidey comments in your post stood out to me - Who is saying them? Do you have to be around them or can you put them in the bin for jealous poison people?

Just wanted to join on in on this for a second. If any of you need to lose quite a bit of weight and struggle with alcohol in the evening then I would recommend using Mounjaro. I haven't even thought of having a drink since I used it and I was used to having up to half a bottle of wine every single night. I have drinks in the house and it just hasn't occurred to me to have a drink. This is just not something that happens to me!

This isn't just me by the way. It stops the food noise but it also stops the drink noise.

Morning everyone

@Nowstrong like @NextPhaseOfLife said those aches you should be proud of, don’t listen to those comments, crack on and do what you need to do, people saying just being spiteful .
@enoughisenough4 I’m sure we all done this and I have mine coming , it’s done and just go again, you’ll do it.
off to theme park with youngest today , so nice waking up clear headed and having energy , I feel I’m so much more positive in the mornings and that wanes as day goes on? Anyone get this? Looks like a lovely day out there, have a lovely Saturday everyone and take care

@Jbob1976 sadly I didn't experience the extra positive feeling by day 10 but hopefully would if I abstained for longer.

Had a bottle of wine and half a bottle of beer last night. Not great but not catastrophic. Also not worth the sky high anxiety today about kicking off another racing palpitations episode, so lesson learnt.

@Nowstrong I really enjoyed reading your post - it made me laugh in places 😅 your style of writing reminds me of one of those Sunday Times best seller type books (a compliment!)

@Nowstrong did not enjoy the parts about the horrible comments of course!!

Sorry triple posting - @Jbob1976 I did notice my skin looked much fresher on my face though. Probably around day 7?

@Nowstrong thanks for making me laugh 😂 And for your understanding regarding the dog. I hope it gets better, people keep telling me it will, but it's not, not yet anyway.
Actually, I'm good today. Was up early, out walking in the mountains. 3 hours and 3 litres of water. Having a drink shortly with lunch.
@Jbob1976 you're doing so well. I understand that brilliant feeling of no hangover, and yes, I recognise it waning as the day goes on. It's weird - like we've all got short memories 🤣.
I know you want to do a month and that's great but I was thinking that you could do what many of us do on here ( myself included) and have say 5 or 6 days af, then a drink. ( Ignore that if you're intent on a month. I don't want to derail you).
@enoughisenough4 you didn't have too much, but I understand if you're feeling down about it. And yes, we live and learn - it's a process after all.
@determinedtomakethiswork that sounds like something that would be good for me. I'll Google it. I can lose weight when I put my mind to it, it's just the struggle with wine cravings that puts me back to square one 🥴

Hi all, I thought everyone had stopped posting then found this new thread. I wondered where you had all gone!

Had a quick read of all the posts, so sorry for not tagging everyone. Well done to all of us still moderating or getting back on the moderating again (like me!)

I went away last week for half term and although I still drank every day (Mon-Fri), it was a lot less than I usually would have done. Oh but on Sunday went over the top with my mum and ended the night with a massive baileys that gave me a headache next day. But I didn't have hangxiety, I was just tired and really thirsty.

I was going to be under 14 units this week (had a funeral and a birthday and still stayed below) but remembered tomorrow I have an occasion that means I would usually drink, so I'm having that internal debate on whether to drink or not. It's hard work this moderating!!

I need to try the CBD drinks, thanks to whoever recommended them. I also just tried an apple and watermelon j2o spritz of my daughters and it's lovely! Definitely gonna get some and pretend it's a cocktail in a can!

Forgot to add that after many a hungover day /week for my husband and him telling me to stop banging on about moderating, he has finally seen the bright side and downloaded the Try Dry app, cutting down his drinking. Early days but 🤞🏻. He can go all weekdays without a drink but then go way over the top at the weekend, but is worse than me with no off switch, and it has caused many an argument over the years when he just doesn't learn. It affects him all week as well with tiredness and has denied that it's alcohol related, but now accepted how much better he feels when he moderates. So wish me luck that it stays that way! Obviously we all will still have the occasional blow out, but on the whole Iess is more!

Welcome back @Flumpywoo sorry I didn’t tag you in the new thread. I am generally aiming for under 20 units, I’ll be happy with that. Following a total disaster 2 weeks ago I am managing to moderate again, one glass last night which is an achievement for a Friday! Im not finding it that difficult at the moment.

@enoughisenough4 did you feel like you had too much/were not in control? I think the point about moderating instead of abstaining is that we should be able to have a drink without feeling guilty as long as we don’t feel like we went too far.

@Amdone123 enjoy your lunch. I hope the holiday is helping - I’ve heard a lot of people saying that going away can be really helpful in the early stages of grieving. Thinking of you.

@Amdone123 i want t do a month just to prove to me I can really, but I see your point, I’m on my own on 22nd this month all day and night and my partner is out(long story) and if I don’t drink that night I will have done well. These type of nights in past I’ve hammered it.
@enoughisenough4 my skin won’t look no different really, how are you feeling ?

After a day out in the sun and cricket to watch perfect storm for a drink , could so easily sink half dozen drinks but don’t want to break my run and feel like rubbish tomorrow which I know I will. Feel like I’m punishing myself

Ah no worries @Bigbus, there are too many of us to remember tagging everyone.

I agree with you about easily managing 3 AF days and in the week, I'm absolutely fine most weeks when no plans. But I want to get to a stage where I don't feel I have/need to drink because of a certain occasion, so that some weeks I go all week without alcohol occasionally. Hasn't happened since my dry Feb, but I did have one 5 day streak and a few 4s. Just want to do longer every now and again.

@Bigbus I felt I was in control but only because there was nothing else left in the house to drink. If there was I would have had that too. I'm quite happy with the idea of going another couple of weeks without anything tbh. I woke up worrying I was going to have another heart racing episode but thankfully did not!

@Jbob1976 i don't really know tbh. I know it's better for me not to drink but as a separate issue I also feel like anti anxiety meds would be good for me and I'm thinking of taking this step when I'm back from a trip away next weekend. I didn't notice I was more positive necessarily but I definitely looked fresher and my mum said she thinks I've lost weight too which is good (and needed!!). You're doing so well staying AF!!

Hope everyone is having a nice weekend

@Flumpywoo hey, glad you found us ! You're right they're are so many of us - I hope the rest find us !
@Bigbus , yes, a change of scenery is great. This is my 2nd holiday since he died : so weird, because I used to get super excited going home to see him ! (First time home was awful - empty house,etc.)
I used to miss him so much on holiday, now I just miss him ( I promise to stop talking about the dog - I am actually on another thread for it ! ).

Anyway....only equivalent of 1 bottle today for me, which is pretty miraculous !
About 5 litres of water today as I repeated my morning walk this afternoon - feet are killing.

Positives from this holiday - no hangovers, very few cigarettes ( I think 5 ), lots of walking, grief lessening ( somewhat) - and lots of self reflection - thanks to you, lovely lot ❤️

Hi all - happy Sunday to you.

How's everyone doing?

@Jbob1976 - how has your weekend gone?

Hi everyone , hope you all had a nice Sunday
@NextPhaseOfLife I have had a pretty nice weekend thanks, had lovely day out with youngest yesterday and today been really relaxed , also over 9 hours last night, can’t remember doing that in don’t know how long? Last night was a struggle , I didn’t drink but so fancied one, it was because it was Saturday and I associate that with having a few extra and normally just drinking to I fall
asleep. 7 days today af, can’t believe I’d do it especially after the state I got myself in last Sunday. I know it’s still mega early days and be silly to think I’ve cracked it but I feel better. How are you keeping ? Weekend been good to you?

Your posts are so fab to read, @Jbob1976

What a difference a week makes 😍

My weekend has been great, thank you - drove out to a restaurant about 30 mins away last night and had a really good laugh. I've wander to go further afield for a while, but stuck to our locals as no one wanted the hassle of cabs.

Think my friends are going to quite like having a designated driver who's up for adventure!

Well done @Jbob1976 . That is one of things I love most about reducing, sleep is so much better.

Weekend doing my volunteering hobby. Long hours which would normally end with several [many] drinks in the bar and less than 5 hours sleep for two nights on the trot but had a couple and was in bed much earlier than normal. Still long tiring days but it's tired without the associated hangovers.

Long week ahead travelling with work so already longing for next weekend but I'll get there.

@Jbob1976 well fine on 7 af days - that's absolutely brilliant 👏
@Liverpool52 definitely a big difference in being tired and tired / hungover, which let's face it, is the pits.

It was my last day of my holiday today and completely af. Can't remember the last time that happened - not even a beer. I've got to be up in about 3 hours - I'm going to be tired but at least I won't be hungover.

Hello again. Following my post the other night about getting better I then woke up and could not use the site for 24 hours and it triggered me and I drank. All day I drank. I texted my ex too and I was absolutely disgusted with myself this morning. I can post again now but that feeling of not being able to access help even though I had not been using this group recently did something to me and that was it. Wine and beer. I wasted a full day yesterday and most of today just to the booze and the bad thoughts and the guilt etc because of it. It does not take a lot to trigger me I guess :(

Tomorrow I have to be in work early so going to bed now. I have drank slowly a bottle of wine today but with a decent sleep I will wake up positive again tomorrow for the week ahead. I have guests coming to stay for 2 weeks at the end of this month so I have to get this under control. I have to.

Will come on every day till then to hold myself accountable. The past few months, maybe a year have been so awful and I need to keep my positive focus that the worst is behind me and that starts with not drinking as I cannot keep my emotions under control when I drink anymore.

Thank you all for your continued support. I hate this life of positive days and then regression but I am still hopeful I can turn this all around. x