On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstaining - new thread for summer 2024

[Bigbus]

@amdone123 @touty @coppergate7 @swannyb
@Hohofortherobbers @YoghurtPotWashingMachine @Mj20 @Freezingfeetwarmheart @Needtokickthehabit @OhShitImNearly40 @Nowstrong @enoughisenough4

The last thread got full before a new one could be started. I’ve tried to tag some of the regular posters but I don’t really know what I’m doing! Let me know if this works and please tag people I’ve missed.

@Flumpywoo thanks and well done on Day 6. You sound like you're in control, and working hard to stay on track. It is hard work sometimes isn't it, but as you say, it's best to address it.

Morning everyone, hi @Swannyb and welcome @FiveShelties ( this really is such a great group)
@Amdone123 good on you for going af last night , it’s the getting up fresh and full of beans that I love being af. I know it’s easy the next morning to say that as they night before it’s hard.
@enoughisenough4 2 at days in 3 weeks is brilliant , is it getting easier or is it still on your mind all the time ?
for me this is day 13 af, I’m finding the not drinking actually ok now, I still would love a drink badly but at the moment the downsides to it isn’t worth it. I’m on my own tonight as partner away, got my af beers in and ok with that. The main concern I have now is when I do decide to drink again and how I feel and will I have the urge to drink regular again? Won’t know until that happens ? I keep thinking of upcoming things I have on where big drinking sessions would be the norm and why I looked forward to them so much. But that’s another day and like so many people say, worry about that when it happens. Hoping you all have lovely weekend ahead

Morning all, thank you for asking @Amdone123 not doing too well here, but have my sister and BIL staying with me. So let's just say it's complicated... I am trying to moderate a lot, but every evening am drinking. But then I say to myself, they will be going home soon, so will just start afresh then. One positive, she is being a little less bitchy with her remarks this time, but stay isn't over yet. BIL is being kind and has offered to do odd jobs for me, so can't always complain.
Will catch-up with you all next Friday, liberation day.
Stay strong you lot!

Good morning and thanks for the tag, @Amdone123

I’m generally doing ok. I went out last night and chose wine when I should have chosen G&T- would have been three units instead of 6, but still I am proud of ordering actual small glasses of wine (125) and stopping when I’d had enough. I’m due to go to a friends house tonight but she’s not a big drinker and some of the others going are af so I might see if I can stick to non-alcoholic. That would be a big achievement!

@Bigbus good luck tonight and it's hard when you have that internal debate and go from 'I am definitely not drinking' to 'oh it won't hurt'. Sometimes you drink but don't even enjoy it and it was a waste but other times it's worth it, when not going overboard of course lol. So good luck with whatever you decide.

Getting there slowly. No full on breakdowns, havent been 'drunk' but am still drinking.

Good morning everyone, thank you for the tag, @Amdone123 🙏🏻

Good morning @FiveShelties - welcome to the group. We were all at Day 1 once (me, several times), and we get it - you've made a fantastic step posting 💕💕💕

I'm 7 weeks AF now - 😮🥳🥳

I don't miss it. I had a big work thing on Thursday - it went tits up and was actually pretty hideous in a corporate-not-life-threatening in any real traumatic way - way.

In the past I would have drowned my emotions, but this time, I took my team out, we agreed that it was shit but we did our best with it, tomorrow would be a new day but we were allowed to wallow that evening.

It felt good to feel the feels with a clear head.

Also finding my appetite has normalised - oh my fucking life - it's a bloody miracle! I'm only eating when I'm actually hungry and no longer eating crap for the sake of it.

Who is this new me?😂

I'm not being complacent - I'm very aware there could be blips - but it's so nice experiencing the real me for a change, without the effects of alcohol and what it did with wiring my brain.

Great to hear that you are doing SO WELL @Jbob1976 - I remember your very first post and how worried you were. I think you might be my hero - you're bloody epic 💕💕

Morning all. Going into my fourth weekend of successful moderation. Had a couple of danger points - a weekend away on my hobby and a couple of nights away with work but survived both with no mishaps. A couple of drinks catching up with people and then to bed for a run in the morning with a nice clear head. And the difference to my weight is noticeable (wearing a top today that hasn't fit me in a couple of years).

Like you @NextPhaseOfLife I'm not being complacent. It's hardwork and I'm sure there will be blips but I'm doing OK at the moment.

Really grateful to @Amdone123 , @Bigbus and everyone on this thread. It's the thing that provides the biggest support.

Excellent, @Liverpool52 - so glad it's going well. And wearing clothes that haven't fit for a long time is such a boost isn't it xx

Great to hear from everyone - you're all doing so well, whether abstaining or moderating. The main thing is we're mindful and doing our best.

It's so miserable here. The tennis is non existent. My granddaughters have just gone, dh is working away......I thought should I have a Netflix afternoon with wine and crisps.
Fortunately, that involves leaving the house so it's coffee and cake.
Wine Witch 0. Me - 2.

@Amdone123 Always great to get one or two over on the wine witch.

I find DH being away is the worst because I think ooooooo I can settle down with a nice bottle and a boxset he's not interested in but of course the one always turns into more and it all goes pear-shaped.

Thank you so much for the lovely welcome everyone, you are all very kind. It is interesting reading the posts, some of which I could have written myself and I am grateful for the sharing.

Saturday was not perfect but amazingly good for me. We went out at 2pm, there was a Ladies afternoon and then a dinner in the evening, then back to friends for a drink. I arrived home at midnight and although I cannot claim to be alcohol free I had a glass of Prosecco at 3pm, and a small glass of wine with dinner. Over this time frame I would normally have been well into the second bottle of wine so I am so pleased with myself. I did drink numerous glasses of water and two cans of Coke Zero as well.

So here I am Sunday morning at 10 am, have stripped the bed, the washer is on, the sun is shining and I am about to take the dog out for a walk - definitely not my usual Sunday morning. Have a great week-end everyone and thank you for your support😁

@FiveShelties that's a great result, well done. I'm up bright n early too - need to do the bedding but can't trust the weather here ( any excuse).

I was a bit tempted last night. We've not much food in so was ordering a takeaway but decided I wanted wine with it ( that all or nothing again). I made tea instead. So, I win again!
I really need to go to the supermarket today but I know I'll pick up wine, and that will mean a hangover tomorrow so I'm going to try really hard today to not drink.
Have a lovely day, folks.

Morning all, having a quick visit to the thread in between breakfast services...
Was woken up very early by my sister creeping around in the dark (so as not to disturb anyone she's a specialist in this domaine) and of course banging into things and making such a racket that I woke up. She then shuttles off to bed to catch-up on her beauty sleep.
In the afternoons I'm saying to myself, I'll be AF this evening when I serve them their evening drinks, then I fail dismally and have one too. Talk about being driven to drink...
I'm OK in the daytime as I'm driving so I manage. It's the evenings, when some little remarks are made, and of course she is SO perfect... I'm a mother and a grandmother but hey ho, I have no experience (in her eyes) whatsoever, so I have to have everything explained to me... sorry I'm derailing.
Well that was a just get it off your chest moment. Will try to remain AF today. Never know, might succeed.
Sending strong vibes to you all, hope it has a boomerang effect on me.
@Amdone123 well done for beating those beastie WWs, welcome @FiveShelties and to everyone else : stay strong.
Hope you all have an excellent Sunday

Good morning all, I decided after all that I would have a drink at my friend’s house yesterday. The reason for this is that I am trying to achieve moderation so that it is possible to go out and have one or two and I don’t have to either abstain or get absolutely wasted. This is the friend’s house I was at when I had the incident that set me on this path - got so drunk that I don’t remember coming home and lost my bag etc - I’ve posted about it before. There was and still is a great deal of shame attached to that incident.

Anyway, I’d like to report that I managed to have a few drinks slowly over the evening, stopped early, moved to water and stayed chatting until the early hours. Not drunk, home safely and no hangover this morning.

Like others have said, I’m not taking this for granted or going to become complacent- I did that before and ended up black-out drunk again- but there is more of a pattern now towards moderation and on nights like last night it felt easy and normal. I didn’t want to get drunk and talk nonsense.

This thread has really been the thing that has helped me. Most importantly it’s the lack of judging and the acceptance when things go wrong. Thank you all.

Morning all
Just reading through lots of your posts to pick up some inspiration as not been on it recently. Started out really well with my plan to abstain week days and moderate at the weekend . Was doing really well and got almost too complacent. Slowly crept up back to drinking the best part of a bottle nightly again.
DH away all week now so not sure if that makes it harder or easier !!!
Need to get through day one which is always the hardest for me. If I can abstain Monday it really sets me up to stick to it all week. Like others have said, how wonderful is it to get that better nights sleep and wake up with clearer skin and eyes. I even focus better at work.
Need to lose a stone before a holiday in 7 weeks too so might go back to swimming or take a Pilates class or something. But most of all if abstaining means going to bed early with a book and a brew that's okay too .... whatever works.
Hope everyone has a good Sunday and manages to see some sunshine x

Lovely to hear everyone's updates.

Well done @FiveShelties that is amazing!!!

@mumzof4x we are all behind you and know you can do it this week. Don't worry about the past and it creeping up again, you can start again from day 1 and stay AF during the week. We are all going to have blips but what matters is we can change it again. Any moderation is better than no moderation!

@mumzof4x yes, you can get back to your af ways. It's just a blip, it happens, but you can do it.

I need to lose a stone in 7 weeks too, so we'll have a go together.

Hi all I'm new here and would love to join!

I feel that over the last few years I have started on a slippery slope with booze... drink most nights, couple of gins or half a bottle of wine sometimes more on weekends... but once I start I do not want to stop and it makes me feel crap the next day.

I did 14 days off recently until last weekend when I had a small glass of wine and then I've been sober again since, I feel like a new person! I'm loving this new energy, incredible sleep and I feel like I'm finally respecting my body instead of filling it with poison!

Have been reading The Sober Girls Society Book, Annie Grace and listening to some podcasts on the damage that alcohol does neurologically which is frankly terrifying.

Morning everyone,

thank you @NextPhaseOfLife for your kind words, definitely not a hero but lovely to read
welcome @tahinitoast i only joined this thread 2 weeks ago tomorrow, 2 weeks ago I was in state quite frankly , had a wobble here and there but day 14 af and feeling all the benefits you have explained. The book alcohol explained changed a lot for me, it made me understand what I was doing to myself and what was happening to me and what had happened to me was really all down to 30 years of drinking. I was talking to my elderly mum this morning bless her and she said the change in me is stark! I’m contemplating what I thought 2 weeks ago the unthinkable and abstaining for good? I don’t know if this is pie in the sky and just a whim and I haven’t found a coping mechanism for when I will have problems moving forward ? What I love on hear is that there is no judgement and I can be so open , wishing you all a happy Sunday and if possible af

Hello all. Hope it’s ok if I join in. (Waves at @FiveShelties - we are on another thread together about beauty products. Which is another addiction of mine!)

Like most of you I have tried and failed to moderate before. But I can’t see myself going completely AF.

Wine is my thing. I love wine. And DH drinks too. We enable each other. Our entire relationship has been based on relaxing in the evenings with wine. I have had periods where I drink low alcohol white wine with soda water. And periods where I have been low carb and managed to just drink water. But the last few years I have found it harder and harder to resist wine. I’m not physically addicted as last year I was spending a few days every month or so at my Dad’s house getting it ready to sell and I didn’t drink at all there when on my own. And in the past DH used to work away a few days most weeks and I wouldn’t drink at all when he was away. But my go to every evening is a glass or two of white wine and then I switch to red and probably have three glasses of that. More if we are socialising. Had a couple of events last year where I got very drunk.

I had a bit of a wake up call this year as a relative by marriage died of cirrhosis of the liver in his early 70s. I never thought he was a heavy drinker. And he was fine for years until suddenly he wasn’t.

And I have just had some blood tests done with York Health and my liver results are worrying. And my B vitamins are low which is probably from too much alcohol.

I’m on Wegovy which is similar to Mounjaro which someone mentioned up the thread. They are both weight loss injections. For some people they put them off alcohol. Sadly not for me. I have lost quite a bit of weight but have stalled now and I know it’s because of the alcohol calories. It’s so stupid to be spending so much money in the medication and sabotaging it with wine.

So. This week I want to not drink Monday to Thursday. I’m going to an afternoon tea event on Friday and I will have Prosecco. But I’ll come home afterwards rather than go to the pub as some people will do.

I will have some wine this evening but I deliberately haven’t put any white wine in the fridge as if I do the bottle will be there tomorrow and I’ll find it impossible not to drink. So tonight will be a g&t and red wine and that’s it.

Looking forward to not waking up at 3am feeling crap, not being able to get back to sleep and scaring myself with the thoughts of what I’m doing to myself health wise.

This resonates 100%, the more I educate myself about, let's face it what we know anyway... that alcohol is a drug and is actively doing us harm.. the more I wake up to the fact it doesn't have to be this way. It's interesting your Mum said that, I feel I have far more energy and am more present for my kids and also more productive at work, it's a win win!

I do have AF drinks fairly often which I'd like to ween off.. but I guess it's gotta be better than booze!

@Flumpywoo @Amdone123 thanks both really .
@tahinitoast your post so resonates with me. Keep going , all the benefits you listed are what's going to keep me going mon to the this week .
@Amdone123 def with you on the 7 week mark and a stone .... do you have a special occasion you want to lose for ? I'll be doing low low carb and high protein as reached that age where bread just may as well slap it straight onto my stomach ! A on its eggs eggs and more flipping eggs

@mumzof4x ah, great. It's for my next holiday. I felt OK this past holiday ; it's not really for vanity reasons, more health.
( There's a thread on here, 8 week accountability - join us on there if you'd like ?).

@Amdone123 ah I will thank you !
Holiday here too
Health nut vanity too
Im 53 and actually felt confident in a bikini for the first time in forever last year (honeymoon) and want to feel pretty again this holiday.
I