On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstaining - new thread for summer 2024

[Bigbus]

@amdone123 @touty @coppergate7 @swannyb
@Hohofortherobbers @YoghurtPotWashingMachine @Mj20 @Freezingfeetwarmheart @Needtokickthehabit @OhShitImNearly40 @Nowstrong @enoughisenough4

The last thread got full before a new one could be started. I’ve tried to tag some of the regular posters but I don’t really know what I’m doing! Let me know if this works and please tag people I’ve missed.

Ok here goes my list of reasons why not.

Lack of decent sleep.
Anxiety oh the anxiety
My face looks awful and puffy
Ruins my exercise regime ( exercise is so important to me as bloody peri menopause has made me emotionally flat)
I spend a fortune on takeaway
The house descends into disarray in terms of cleaning and chores.
I say stuff I don't mean
My kids remind me of embarrassing things I did.
Long term health effects.
I feel ashamed after I drink.

@Amdone123 you sound so postive and yes agree one day at a time. Hope you had a nice holiday ?
I can't face the scales today because I'm so puffy after flight but expect I've gained the 8lbs I lost. I'll weigh in tomorrow!
If I don't drink I don't munch and I'm much more active then too. I can feel myself on edge already just at the thought of not drinking this evening. It's become such a habit on holiday .
Well I have 5 cases to unpack and that post holiday food shop so will be busy enough. Maybe listening to Day 1 Annie Grace I find her programme really helpful.
Coming back from hols when you've had time to reflect on things can be quite postive I guess !

@40andlovelife yep, all those on my list.

I love Annie Grace . Catherine gray too.

@40andlovelife oooh I'll google Catherine Grey thank you !

@mumzof4x she has a brilliant book called The unexpected joy of being sober, I listened to 1 or 2 chapters a day on audio and it kept me on track when I was boredom/stress drinking. She has loads of funny stories

Hi all.
lovely catching up on everyone’s news!
well done on another A/f day @Nowstrong and I’m glad your finding Andy ramages reels useful, they’ve been such a great resource for me too.

aw @Amdone123 and @PositiveDays ty for your kind words… I’m literally just doing one day at a time, and it soon adds up. Particularly once you hit double digits in terms of days…. I will just say I’m still having wobbles, the days I crave it, the days I feel flat, like @Nowstrong but I just know it’s all for the greater good. Keep going guys! You’ve got this!!!!

welcome to @40andlovelife…. think we can all relate to your post, best of intentions and somehow we lose sight of it. Be kind to yourself today, it’s a new day! Set some booze free goals to go with your reason list and that should help too. Also welcome home @mumzof4x good luck with your day 1 xxx

@40andlovelife We share nearly the same list. 😬

I'm going to try and stick to one or two beers a night and avoid the wine. If I can't do that until Friday, I'm going to speak to my GP.

@YoghurtPotWashingMachine I think that's a good idea. I don't enjoy beer, it just makes me pee all night - I'm better avoiding any alcohol really. If I drink spirits, I don't enjoy them and then crave wine.

Cheering you on on your day 1 AF @Amdone123 and @mumzof4x

Morning! Had a brilliant sleep. Feel really refreshed and "there". Am a bit stiff from sport, but it feels good.
Still AF but still look a bit bloated, in my eyes. Or my mirror is on a mission to depress me. Was invited last night to DDs, took 2 bottles of AF beer with me, but only had one. Refused the wine. Didn't even fancy it. Which is strange, normally if I go without, it is with an effort, as I would fancy one. Still early days though. Today is AF day 5.
Otherwise. I have been busy planning trips for later this year and next. Off on 1st September with a friend who doesn't drink at all. Funnily enough, after a very serious operation to remove a benign brain tumour, she developed a hatred of the taste of alcohol. Even in chocolate, can't stand the taste. So of course going away with her makes being AF pretty easy. And she is good fun. But, I refuse to sell the bear skin before it's been killed and will just continue my daily battle against the booze.
@Amdone123 I drink AF beer, but not "real" beer, and yes I'm up all night to the loo. Definitely don't enjoy spirits anymore at all.
Also cheering on @mumzof4x and @Amdone123. Know how you are most probably feeling. Strangely I'm in a very good AF place at the moment. Just hope it lasts.
Sending positive vibes, even if I haven't tagged many, thinking of you all. SSS!

@Nowstrong well done on Day 5, that's brilliant. You can do it. Glad you had a great sleep, I did, too and I'm feeling really positive too.

@YoghurtPotWashingMachine how did you get on ? And @mumzof4x hope the washing's done and if you needed a drink after all that, don't worry, just keep trying - it's hard when you get back off holiday for lots of different reasons.

@Jbob1976 how are you getting on?

Can you all believe that yesterday I was so determined and yet in work I had ' the thought ' ?!
Good news is I've learnt so much about cravings and hurdles and obstacles that I was ready mentally for the wine witch bitch.

Overall, it's a habit and one I've had for nearly 30 years - I've had 1000s of day 1s, but one day it will stick.
Day 2 and I can do it.
Keep on keeping on, folks.

Hi @Amdone123 thank you for asking, I’m on holiday at the moment in Spain , it’s all inclusive so it’s a case of staying in control as bar open already. Haven’t been doing good at all lately with everything really, been hammering the drink and moods terrible , go hand in hand. the next 10 days are written off then it’s a must to start again when I get home for so many reasons

Hi @Amdone123. I had three beers last night. Not amazing, but it's nice to wake up without a hangover. Good luck on day 2. You can do it :)

@YoghurtPotWashingMachine that's a great result. Aim for 2 this evening but if you have 3, it's still a good start.
@Jbob1976 make plans for when you get home, it will be ok.
Have a lovely holiday.

Morning all!
just wanted to cheer on @Amdone123 and @mumzof4x for day2 and a special well done to @Nowstrong on day 5!!!!
the first days are the hardest…. And even now @Amdone123 despite my resolution and determination I still have the thought of…. I could have one tonight. Well done to @YoghurtPotWashingMachine on your moderating too and @Jbob1976 enjoy your holiday, you’ll be ready for a reset of sorts when your back, so don’t be hard on yourself xxx

Have a great day everyone xxx

@Amdone123 Have bought a light beer which is in a smaller bottle, so even if I do drink three it's still a win. I think I need to get to the stage where the pull of waking up feeling good is greater than than the pull of drink.

@YoghurtPotWashingMachine that's a good way of looking at it.
I always feel better after just a couple of days af - honestly, I sleep better, my skin is clearer, I'm happier - then I think wow, I'm in a great mood, I think I'll have a wine.
So, the cycle continues.
I'm in a great mood today and the thought has crossed my mind ( to drink later ) but I recognise these patterns now, and I'm saying No.

Morning, folks, how are we all doing ?
Day 3 here and I'm feeling great - slept well, I'm up nice n early to sort a few things.
Even looking forward to work and I'm doing extra hours ! - I'm on my own today, which I love.

I had a moment yesterday when the wine witch was harassing me about my future plans ( going out, holidays, tennis events - what yer gonna do then ? ), but I told her, in no uncertain terms, to get back in her box, and I will cross that bridge when I get to it 😇

One day at a time.

Morning @Amdone123! Ty for your lovely, upbeat message and congrats on 3 days.

coming on today to share I have hit 6 weeks…. That’s 42 days! It’s crazy looking back how this started with one day, on holiday, thinking I don’t want to do this anymore, and here I am still going 🙏🏼 There’s still lots of sober firsts to experience…. But I’m almost seeing it as a challenge now as in well if I can go abroad, do a festival and socialise sober I can do all the other stuff too.
and when that feels too much…. @Amdone123 is right…. One day at a time xxx

Morning all! AF day 6 here and starting to look (in my eyes) less bloated, but do have a headache, took a couple of paracetamol and that should kill it. Sleep is getting so much better too. I'm even getting up after 06H00, which is rare. I don't think this headache has anything to do with being AF, most probably muscle tension in the shoulders. I am stiff and sore from Pilates yesterday.
Glad you're doing fine too @Amdone123 and well done on giving that witch a piece of your mind. Yes, 1 day at a time, as you and @Mj20 say, is the way to go. Hopefully for me, they will start to add up.
@Mj20 that is amazing! You are an inspiration. First times AF are becoming little battles and wins for me, but I'm managing, for the time being. Have even developed a taste for water, so am hydrating myself better.
@YoghurtPotWashingMachine finding what little things encourage and help is the way to go. You can do this.
@Jbob1976 enjoy your holiday and when you return you can start again. Knowing the reasons why will be encouraging.
Been looking at podcasts for encouragement. I'm really thinking that AF and not moderating, is the way to go for me. I think the ups and downs of moderating and going AF are mentally tiring me. Well, can only do my best. AND 1 day at a time.
Sending positive and properly hydrated vibes to all. SSS!

@Nowstrong well done on day 6! Week one almost in the bag. Excellent.
I chose A/f as after a couple of years of “successfully” moderating I was tired of it. Tired of wondering if I could have the 3rd glass, tired of the occasional binge and just tired of trying to have a relationship with something that’s so destructive to me. That isn’t to say despite knowing all this it’s an easy choice to make, but here we are xxxx

Thank you @Mj20, your words really resonate with me. I'm finding myself in the same situation. Especially the 3rd glass, or even 2nd. Then I'm on my 4th without realising it. Also the good days after being AF, and then the night sweats after just 2 glasses. The body readapting to being with or without. I'm going to try. All I can do. But somewhere in me I'm feeling that this is the road to follow. Not saying I'm going to succeed at all. But I'm going to see and try.

@Nowstrong i think we are both in very similar situations. And on the same page. Here’s to another A/f day xxx