On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstaining - new thread for summer 2024

[Bigbus]

@amdone123 @touty @coppergate7 @swannyb
@Hohofortherobbers @YoghurtPotWashingMachine @Mj20 @Freezingfeetwarmheart @Needtokickthehabit @OhShitImNearly40 @Nowstrong @enoughisenough4

The last thread got full before a new one could be started. I’ve tried to tag some of the regular posters but I don’t really know what I’m doing! Let me know if this works and please tag people I’ve missed.

Morning all! Welcome to the newcomers. Had 3 glasses, nah, 4, 5 stop lying to myself, yesterday evening. I'm totally fed up of having to cook for my DD and her partner as they're still moving (cleaning old flat and new flat, emptying boxes, organising furniture, all that I managed to do by myself at least twice) but DD's partner is out of action for the moment and can't help. Yes, I understand that this is a pain in the nether parts, but poop happens in life, frequently. Very polite little 'ole me. I'm helping as much as I can, so is HIS family who have really rallied round to replace his, for the moment, unable arms. BUT she's driving me to drink!!! Complaining about it all. Sorry, this thread is not for that, but really had to get it out of me.
Gosh! Feel better for that. Thank you and sorry for the moan.
Anyhow. Result is me feeling slightly anxious this morning with heartburn really searing, heart racing but blood pressure normal. Just the good old after effects of having too much.
Good news is weight is down. Could get into new jeans that I bought one size too small and couldn't be bothered to send back. Haven't had time for a nibble, so that is good.
Going to try to get DD to calm down and keep myself off the rosé this evening, even if only to prevent the discomfort of the heartburn.
Sending painful vibes to all to keep the WWWs away.

@Nowstrong I'm right there with you with the racing heart and anxiety this morning. Had a bottle and 3 mini bottles last night 🤦‍♀️ well done on the weight loss!

Normally I don't want to drink if I've drank the night before but I was just so fed up yesterday. An old friend was meant to be coming to stay but she bailed on me last minute and that coupled with some mum friends being unreliable just made me feel a bit shit and rejected, so I turned to the drink 🤦‍♀️

Monday: Bottle of wine, one whiskey and coke
Tuesday: Bottle of wine

Morning all. Last night I had a can of beer, three quarters of a bottle of red, and two of those M&S gins in a can. I feel like a rubbish, sweaty hungover mess.

The best part is, I bought one of those hypnosis apps and had been listening to it earlier. I actually drank more than usual!

@SisterMaryLuke how are you doing ?
@Nowstrong oh god, the heartburn. One of the reasons I hate Christmas - I always get it then because I just mindlessly drink. Hope things are settling down and well done on the weight loss.
@YoghurtPotWashingMachine 🤣 - you probably drank more because it was on your mind.

Home from holiday and had a fantastic time. I was there for 5 days and only drank too much on 1 day.
The other days I moderated but it was so hot, I was definitely drinking more water than wine.
The one day I felt delicate ( after the day of drinking too much), I was really annoyed with myself - I looked awful, head was banging, just bleurghhh.
The days I wasn't delicate, I walked, swam, drank water ( and 2 or 3 glasses of wine), and was overall more content.
Funny how, now I'm home, I was earlier, contemplating drinking today.
I'm not going to - it's just tiredness and being happy to be home. ❤️

Amdone123 Thank you for asking. All is well. The dreadful hangxiety has dissipated, thank god. Downloaded the I Am Sober app. Feeling very positive and reading lots of quitlit blogs and watching YT videos. Day 5 nearly done.

@SisterMaryLuke well done on nearly day 5 - that's great.
It's also great that you're feeling positive - half the battle methinks, or at least a third.
What are your plans for the weekend, drink wise?

To keep on keeping on Amdone123. Am going out for a naice lunch on Sunday, but will stick to fizzy water. I'm also going to restart my calorie counting which is a lot easier and calories go further when you're not drinking them!

@SisterMaryLuke that's great. You can do it.
And yes, calories go a lot further when you're alcohol free.

Good morning everyone. I had been doing so well but Thursday had a massive fail - drank goodness knows how much red wine at a party, talked shite, ended up crying at some point and got home in a cab at 4am. I’m managing to moderate really well and comfortably in normal life and then it seems that every few months I have a massive binge and embarrass myself. Luckily I don’t really know the people concerned except the host who is lovely so hopefully I’ll just be an amusing anecdote for them. I’m so fed up if this though.

Morning all! Blissful good night's sleep after a calmer and AF day. Back on the AF or strictly moderating track. Had a peaceful lunch and dinner with one of my DGDs and feel more at peace and active today. Have just promised to help out cleaning the "old" flat this afternoon. Want to get MY place spick and span again.
Had my regular medical the other day, health wise all is well. Which is alway mind settling. It's incredible how peace and calm is necessary to be able to stick to your own healthy living programme.
@SisterMaryLuke well done! Keep up the good work! Yes, calories go hand in hand with alcohol. Together with bloating.
@Amdone123 glad you enjoyed your holiday. Also agree with you about how feeling positive helps and definitively is half the battle.
To everyone else keep up the good work and continue the battle against the WWWs. It is a tough long road, but we're all on it together. SSS!

Hi @Bigbus ! Hope you’re feeling a bit better today! We’ve all been there and done that, many times! 😂 The binge drink sessions are the worse. Do you know what may have caused you to escalate the drinking? (Hungry, tired, good mood?)

Thanks @Swannyb - I’m not sure what triggered it - I was having a good time with interesting people who were all poring the booze down their throats and everyone was pretty drunk. I think I took my eye off the ball. Because I’m managing to moderate quite naturally most of the time I’ve stopped planning to mitigate disaster.

Swannyb - I agree its the unplanned, impromptu drinking events that can catch you unawares. Like you, my drinking has drastically reduced (since the heady days of lockdown). I have pretty much stopped the habitual drinking. But, when a neighbour asks you over for a glass of wine, you don't have time to prepare a plan - you just get excited - or I do. The combo of alcohol and being over excited is lethal for me!!

Hi everyone! Just getting myself caught up on everyone’s news!!!!
firstly @Bigbus hope your ok…. You know I can completely relate with the anxiety, sadly I’ve been there too many times myself. It’s the worse!!!! Be kind to yourself, this too shall pass @Amdone123 sounds like your still doing well and nice to hear how you all are @enoughisenough4 @Freezingfeetwarmheart @Nowstrong and welcome from me @Jbob1976 @SisterMaryLuke. Reading through I think there’s a real pattern with us all…. That being moderating/abstaining is a a constant practice, and one to easily bypass when life gets in the way!!!! But everyone is trying and that is all we can do!!!! How are you @Swannyb ….

so I managed my camping trip A/f…. Had plenty of 0% cider which I’ve never done before but it helped! So I’m now week 5 sober… 38 days!!!!!! Can’t believe how quickly it’s racked up! I’d be lieing if I said there aren’t some evenings, particularly weekends, when I crave just one wine, but I know the moderating maths just does my head in and the idea of the hangxiety is just too scary. So I’ll just keep keeping on. The benefits are amazing, but I do feel flat some nights- like someone else said, but a sober friend said that passes after a while.

anyway, just touching base and checking in. Hope everyone has a good weekend xxx

also if anyone is on Instagram Ive found Andy Ramage useful for helping stay sober. He posts lots of motivational reels and there’s lots of comments in the chat that are useful etc, xx

@SisterMaryLuke @Bigbus it sounds like it was a good night, up until it escalated beyond what you had planned! I am more forgiving on those types of occasions now, so long as they’re not often. Don’t forget a bad hangover makes everything feel so much worse!

My moderating has been going really well. I aim to only drink once a week but if something is on it can be 2-3 times. I am only allowed to drink with my partner and/or friends and for a reason - we are out for dinner or having nice food at home on the weekend etc.

No drinking for the sake of it, and definitely no turning to booze if I’m tired/sad!

Well done @Mj20 ! Sounds like you’re doing amazing!

Morning all! Pouring down here. So it's spick and span home time. AF day 2 too. So full of beans, which helps. Not much of interest to say today, but just checking in to see how you are all doing.
@Mj20 you are flying and so inspiring. Thank you for the Andy Ramage link, I've peeked and he is very encouraging.
@Swannyb your moderating is going well. I like your rules.
@SisterMaryLuke I too get excited over an invitation and often let myself go too much. Trying to get a tighter grip on all that. @Bigbus climb back on the wagon, after dusting yourself off of course 😉otherwise you seem to be doing well.
I'm continuing (or trying to) my AF spin. Don't know how many days I'll manage but every AF day is a good day. In my books anyway. I'm not too good at moderating at the moment so AF seems to be the only way.
Send very wet positive vibes. SSS!

@Mj20 you're doing so well. I understand completely about going af instead of the moderating mental gymnastics.
@Bigbus hope you're ok today. Yes, we've all been there.
@Swannyb I like your rules, too. They wouldn't work for me as I'd rather drink on my own - I have no friends 🤣, and I often drink for the sake of it. Maybe they would work for me.
@Nowstrong I wish I could get excited about invitations, they fill me with dread instead - I drink to get through them.

I drank Friday - yes, on my own and for the sake of it really. I'd even been for a lung appointment that morning and still smoked. Make it make sense.

Dh accepted an invitation today on our behalf so I'm lumbered with going out. It's no big deal but it just doesn't help my l'il journey.
I know I don't have to drink but I find it boring if I don't.
Plus I've got my granddaughter tomorrow morning and I'd rather be fresh and have the house sorted. It hasn't recovered from yesterday's visit when the living room became a den and the playroom a school, unfinished science experiments everywhere I look 🥴.

Morning all! Another AF day under the belt. Felt rather flat yesterday evening but managed to keep busy and and not listen to the WWs whispering; "oh just have a drink, it will take that feeling away". Felt rather proud of myself not giving in to the urge.
So, after a pretty good night, it's another day. Still feeling pretty flat, slightly depressed I suppose.

I was watching Andy Ramage's instagram reels and he does mention, and we all mostly know, how alcohol changes our neurotransmitter chemistry, and gives us that warm, fuzzy feeling after a couple of drinks, that we I crave for. Then how, when we stop, our brain chemistry is all messed up. I think that perhaps, when I stop and start my drinking, through moderating and going AF, my brain doesn't really like being messed with and that's why it's to hard for me to stay AF, and also most probably explains this "flat" feeling I get, that pushes me back to having a drink again. These are my jumbled thoughts about why I perhaps should try to be AF for much longer so that my brain can get it's chemical balance back. Going to be pretty hard work for me, but I think it's worth a try.

Going to keep visioning his reels for a while.
Wishing you all a good day, it's stopped raining here and my place is spick and span again. Done lots, still got a lot to do, plus back to sport.

Sending neurotransmitter messed up, but as positive as possible, vibes to all. SSS!

Goodmorning all. New week, pleased to say I've finally started to make a little progress. Last week I drank 1.5 bottles less than usual & managed to go AF the whole of yesterday. Baby steps but I feel a little proud. Can't wait to be like you @Mj20 with 5 weeks AF under your belt. You're very inspiring. Well done to all those who've managed to achieve their moderating or AF targets & if you haven't it's ok, don't give up. Slow & steady wins the race. Have a great day.

Hey all I am new to this thread. Hoping to follow all of your journeys as inspiration! I am such a happy person when I only drink once per week but my problem is that I let others persuade me to drink on other nights too. Like last night. I had a drink with husband on Friday , still got up went to the gym on Saturday. Just chilled and watched my programmes Saturday night and was really really looking forward to Sunday . The plan Sunday was to get back ' on health' as I call it, after being away for 2 weeks and getting back last week. Obviously gaining weight and full of alcohol. So anyway Sunday was going great and to plan. Had a fantastic gym session on the morning and then went on a huge walk with another family and kids. Husband and other couple wanted to stop off at pub. I totally caved to the pressure and had a drink . No one said anything to pressure me, it's totally my fault. I'm an all or nothing kind of person and so ended up having loads. I'm so bloody disappointed in myself . All I wanted to do was wake up fresh and pleased with myself for having such a successful weekend. Exercise is a necessity for me, otherwise I feel very flat emotionally and now I feel like I just undid all my hard work. Need to make a list of reasons not to drink and look at it when I'm in those situations!

@40andlovelife morning and welcome. Wow, your post summed up exactly how I felt yesterday. Family gathering, I didn't want to drink, no one puts pressure on me, but for some reason I ended up drinking.
I'm sure I do it because people expect to see me drinking.
Anyway, welcome on board. You'll find lots of like minded people here.
Making a list is a great idea. In fact, I've just written one this morning stating why I'm so much better off not drinking.

@Nowstrong yes, it all makes so much sense. One thing I have done before is make a list of things I can do when I'm feeling flat - range from cleaning the house, sorting my wardrobe or going for a longgggg walk ( without money).

@PositiveDays thank you for your very positive post. Well done on making progress - it's great you feel proud, it's a good feeling.

I, too, have been inspired by @Mj20 and have been thinking about going af instead of moderating. I don't think it works for me. Well, I know it doesn't.

Day 1 today and I'm going to try af for as long as I can.

Morning all
Just returned from 15 days holiday . Drank everyday with lunch and dinner so feeling I really need to stop or at least moderate again now. Have the most enormous kankles from the plane and the heat too so water/ healthy food / sleep should help but most of all staying off the wine.
I know I'm going to struggle this evening as it's Day 1 again for me and it won't be easy.
@Amdone123 I think you're day 1 too ? Anything planned ?
Will catch up on thread this morning but thanks for having me back and happy Monday all x

@mumzof4x welcome home. Holidays are great but I love coming home, getting back to normal.
I did a lot ( more) thinking on holiday about what I really want and I really want to lose a stone. I'm active enough for my age, and it's not even a vanity thing. I lose through the week then weekend it's back on.
So, plan today is just one day at a time, and to keep reminding myself of those reasons.
2 other big incentives....if I don't drink wine, I won't smoke and I only feel anxious after drinking and I'm sick of that feeling.