On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat *2024*

[Swannyb]

@amdone123 @mj20 @touty @Hohofortherobbers @Coppergate7 @bigbus @colouringindoors @wellitywellness @Atacamadesert @Freezingfeetwarmheart @WouldRatherBeAPieceOftToast @Hohofortherobbers @mickandrorty @Mykittensmittens @afaloren @NoTeaNoShade @CrackersCheeseNoWinePlease @LynnThese4reSEXPEOPLE @Needtokickthehabit @OhShitImNearly40 @Nowstrong @enoughisenough4

I was googling it the other day as I didn't know either and have never counted until now. Yes a single shot of spirits is 1 unit and a medium white wine of 13% abv is 2.3 units. But the try dry app works it out for you when you add each drink. I just need to add the same discipline to the food I'm eating now ha ha. Here's hoping I stick to it most of the time and don't go back to old habits because of peer pressure or just because I no restraint!

I count my units too - but I use a spreadsheet, I don't always drink a full glass - sometimes just pouring it and having it sitting there is mostly all I need - sometimes!😉I hate not being able to calculate the exact amount as I see it. I just want to put in alcohol percentage and number of mills and sum it for the week and I don't want the app telling me I'm a good girl or I've been naughty - I can figure that out for myself. I couldn't find an app that would mind its own business!😂

This time last year I'd have said 14 units was impossible but I'm doing it - mostly on the back of no midweek drinking at home (Sunday - Thursday). And not drinking more than 6 units on a single night (this keeps my anxiety under control). Dh and I agree it's what needs to happen, it's been ok - doable - I haven't found myself desperate for a drink. I think it's about keeping going and finding out what works for you, isn't it?

@StitchRipper yes I think by trying to stick to 14 units on a weekend only is (mostly!) doable.

I don't drink in the week anyway unless it is a special occasion but got into the habit of drinking Thursday night with my mum (I go there for dinner that night when she has picked my daughter up from school until I get home from work), then Sat and Sunday. At one point I drank Thurs-Sun but stopped the Friday night unless I had a night out planned.

But if you stick to the weekend then you don't feel like you're depriving yourself, as you are still enjoying a drink, just stopping earlier than you would have done. And the feeling the next day is great! I had enough yesterday (3 medium glasses) and didn't wish I could have carried on, but I know there will be times that won't be the case and I'll get carried away. So let's hope moderating becomes a habit!

@Amdone123 well done on trying to stay AF until Easter, you can do this!!!

Finally has an AF day after 7 days! Only one of those days was OTT but I had definitely got into the habit of at least one drink a day. Feeling better for it.

I track my units and I try to stay under 20 but don’t always manage. I think I’ll stick with the 20 goal now and no more than 6 in one go. I think I would just fail at 14 every week and that would be miserable so I’ll start with 20 and then go down to 14 once I’m comfortable with 20.

I hope everyone has a good week and remember no judgement here if things have derailed a bit. This is a thread for everyone who is just going along trying their best, sometimes succeeding and sometimes not!

@Bigbus well done on your af day. I know it takes a lot to step off that treadmill !
Having 20 units sounds like a good plan for you. You don't even have to cut to 14, you could lower it in stages - say, 18, then 16.

My day 1 was a great day. I ate healthily, walked for 2 hours before work, drank water not diet coke and generally had a lovely day.
I know I'm better being af so I'm going to really try to stay away from the wine. It's only wine, nothing else !
On my walk I thought about things that have been irritating me recently and I'm going to make a determined effort to not sweat the small stuff. It's this that does lead to drinking so if I face the issues and put them into perspective, I might find I lose myself less with wine.
One can only hope 🤞

How are we all doing ? @Swannyb @Freezingfeetwarmheart @Gemstonebeach @Hohofortherobbers @MoodyBlues1 @Mykittensmittens @Needtokickthehabit @OhShitImNearly40 @Touty @enoughisenough4 @rickyrickygrimes

Also, @Tilllly I know you've got bigger fish to fry, but I hope you're doing OK ❤️

Am doing ok @Amdone123 thank you
Going into town shortly for a few bits, coffee with an old colleague and eyesight test

Moderating my intake well tho had a couple of glasses at lunch yesterday (met up with old friend) so will be off it till the weekend now to compensate

I kinda charge myself more points for daytime drinking

Bad bad weekend. Not happy with myself.

I'm doing well @Amdone123 thanks for asking. Your day sounds great, I really need to start taking exercise.

Weekend a bit boozy but back on AF for a few days. Monday night is always terrible to sleep only managed about 4 hours. I also need to stop stressing about everything. My mind runs at a million miles an hour.

Hi @Amdone123 and others, thanks for checking in. Sorry have been rubbish with posting but have been reading along. Sounds like you're doing well!

I'm doing so-so. I planned with slimming world to only drink once a week, but last week I drank 3 times 🤦‍♀️ I really need to lose this weight though so I need a new frame of mind.

It was interesting reading about anxiety after drinking - so far I've never had it during the night, but I do sometimes get it the next day

@Needtokickthehabit want to talk about it here? Safe space x

@Needtokickthehabit hope you're ok.

@enoughisenough4 yes, I often have weeks when I say I'm only drinking one day, but end up 3 or 4 times a week. I think for me, it's thinking about it ( though I have to think about it, otherwise I'll be dead), and putting too much pressure on myself.
I'm best one day at a time.

Thanks. I had been doing well, mentally and physically and was driving home from work friday, kids go to dads after school and I was meant to do a few things but I got this hard hitting punch in the gut thought about my ex and I literally sobbed all the way home and instead of just driving past the offo and coming home and dealing with it mentally I stopped off and bought for the first time in my life a bottle of captain morgans. I drank the whole bottle. Then of course hair of the dog sat and mothers day sunday.... I need to find something else as a crutch. I just dont know what.

Hi @Amdone123 thanks for asking.

Had a bit of a tough day today. I went for a walk outside and it was a lovely day sun shining, sea a lovely turquoise blue. All of a sudden this wave of craving for a drink hit me, I imagined sitting in the sun with a cold alcoholic drink. I think I have this cracked but I haven’t.

i really don’t know how I’m going to survive this being sober all summer, especially in the deep summer. I’m not too bad at the moment as the nights are short and it’s dark early so I still have some feeling of it being winter with the hot chocolate by the fire cold night feeling.

i don’t know if I’m expressing myself properly.

anyway i trudged home and made a cup of tea.

@Touty I think you might be expecting too much of yourself - the cravings might take a while to stop, we haven't had enough blue skies this year for you to find new associations, so it'll get less intense as you experience more sunny days.

Hello to all! Am having a great time and just proves that when no worries, not bored and always on the go, no cravings for nibbles. Also have drowned the WWWs in the sea and swimming pool.

AF day 4. Stay strong! X

@Nowstrong that's great ! Enjoy.
I'm staying strong on day 3, can't believe how well I've been sleeping.
@Touty you didn't give in, so that's a great step. I worry about the summer too - one day at a time, you're doing really well.

Hi sorry been a bit absent from this thread, I must come here more as it really does help.
Still doing ok-ish here apart from a couple of fails. I appear to be losing my tolerance - not sure of it's my age, because I've been drinking less, or a bit of both! I broke my "only two drinks" rule last Thursday and had 4. Honestly felt like I was dying the next day and a half - and then like the idiot I am went and had another on Friday 🙄 (just the one though!)
Then I invoked really bad day clause on Monday - first my sodding engine light came on - then I got home with my feet absolutely freezing (see user name) and went to get my heated socks only to find they weren't charged. So I went to put the fire on and the bloody gas bottle had ran out. So I had a drink. Then another as the first one didn't warm my feet up enough.
That is IT now until Saturday though!

We put the glass bin out a couple.of weeks ago - it's only collected every 3 months - and it was only a third full. We normally can't always shut the lid! The bin men must be thinking one of us has died! I think that's a good sign!

@Touty I sort of know what you mean as I am the exact opposite - the cold dark nights make me want to drink more, only it's a whiskey in front of the fire not a hot chocolate for me. I was actually just thinking before reading your post that I'm hoping the summer will be easier. Although I do like the odd gin and tonic in the garden.

Hope everyone is doing OK!

Good morning everyone.

@Freezingfeetwarmheart it sounds like you’re doing pretty well! Reduced bottles by 2/3. I would need a very big bottle recycling box if they only came every 3 months!

tracking my units has really been an eye-opener for me. It seems that what I think is moderation is actually not! For example, I’m away at a hotel (always a trigger!). I had two glasses of Prosecco and two glasses of red (one at dinner, one after). I actually felt like I’d done well as I spread the drinks out over the evening and only had one at dinner where usually I would have at least two. Turns out I had nearly 10 units!! I have a lot to learn.

@Bigbus gosh, that is eye opening. I'd class what you had as a good result. I still think you did well, but yes, I should look at units. My problem is binge drinking as well - even worse.

I'm on day 4 here. I have noticed that around about this time, I start to get a little irritable. I know why, so I'm tackling the issues, instead of planning a binge.

I've lost 2lb since Monday weigh in and I'm optimistic about the weekend and staying af. It will be a quiet one ( and will probably feel long), but I'm changing my mindset to make it a positive one.
I must remember I've done many before and really enjoyed them.

@Amdone123 yes exactly one day at a time, it’s the only way.

So Ive thought today how I’ve struggled most of my life with addiction. I had a bad sugar addiction when younger, as a young teen I would eat chocolate cake and biscuits until I felt sick and had to go to bed to sleep it off; I couldn’t have one biscuit it had to be packets. Needless to say I suffered with weight problems.

Ive read that sugar has the same effect on children’s brains as alcohol.

Eventually I managed to give up sugar but then I found alcohol and we all know how that finished. Again done to excess.

i think i was always trying to escape from myself, always looking outside of myself for a buzz.

Ten weeks sober.

@Freezingfeetwarmheart isnt it funny how the weather effects us.

But I’m really worried about the summer, I live in Spain so it’s not easy. I’m just gonna have to shut my curtains at 6 o clock and pretend it’s winter.

@Touty well done on 10 weeks. I know it hasn't been easy for you, and that you're still facing challenges but you're fantastic proof that it can be done.
Day 4 done and dusted. No cravings today ( or yesterday) or even thoughts, but I was enjoying myself at work so it proved a good distraction.

@Amdone123 the irritability comes from having desire for the drink but knowing you're going to not have it. Actually this is a really good sign. It shows your brain you are making different decisions for yourself. It doesn't feel great to feel irritable but it's not some big problem either. The more willing you are to feel irritable (as in really allow the irritability in rather than pushing it away), the quicker this will change.

@change2022 wow, I didn't know that, but it makes sense. Great to know it's a good thing, and yes, it ( the level and depth of irritability) has decreased.
A few years back I'd have seen it as a sign that I was a raging alcoholic and the wine had won.
Thank you for that.

Well, day 5 today and whilst I'm not too irritable 🤣, I have had the wine witch tapping away.
I do need the shop as I need a few bits for weekend but I won't be buying wine.