On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat *2024*

[Swannyb]

@amdone123 @mj20 @touty @Hohofortherobbers @Coppergate7 @bigbus @colouringindoors @wellitywellness @Atacamadesert @Freezingfeetwarmheart @WouldRatherBeAPieceOftToast @Hohofortherobbers @mickandrorty @Mykittensmittens @afaloren @NoTeaNoShade @CrackersCheeseNoWinePlease @LynnThese4reSEXPEOPLE @Needtokickthehabit @OhShitImNearly40 @Nowstrong @enoughisenough4

@afaloren that's a great goal.

Just copying my post in the other new thread over first...

Hello @Hello2024

Absolutely loved reading the positivity in your post this morning @Amdone123 made me smile! Thank you for starting the new thread 💫 (EDIT: and thank you @Swannyb 😂)

AF#9 Clears the path for better things

I'm actually quite excited that I am so close to double figures now, and I am feeling better with an afternoon off today and a day off tomorrow!

Well done on day 11 @Freezingfeetwarmheart !

Hi all,

Thank you for including me here even though I've not been on in a while. I'd like to say my habits have improved but unfortunately they have not. I would say the extreme I take it to has improved but the frequency has not.

DH and I have been drinking wine every other night for the last week, and inevitably I'm already craving wine for tonight now 🤦‍♀️

I have however found a nice little hobby that keeps my hands busy and is something I want to do/low effort, however I made the mistake of doing said hobby with a bottle of wine the other night and realised that I thoroughly enjoyed my evening 🤦‍♀️

How is everyone else doing? I'm so sorry I've not been on top of the thread x

Yo! Joining here, will check in properly later, thanks for the new thread

@enoughisenough4 you don't need to apologise. I think people pop in n out of the thread all the time. You're always welcome no matter. You don't even have to reply to people, you can just get it all down in a safe, supportive place.
I sound like an advert 🤣
So when you've been having wine, have you had a lot or a couple of glasses ?
I wish I could enjoy a couple of glasses a night. I'm on day 10 - thankful that I've reached double figures, but I won't get to the teens 😩

@Amdone123 it's always always a bottle. I can never leave any in it. Sometimes it been a bit more, like a premixed tin of something (classy 😅🤦‍♀️). I've not feel out of control drunk for a while but I have been drinking more often than is healthy. I'm dreaming about it already and hoping DH suggests it so I don't feel bad about. Pathetic, I know! I don't think he will so I'll just sit here all evening wishing I had a glass in my hand.

Thank you so much for the lovely welcome back and support 🤗 well done on ten days! That's amazing!! We did also make noises about dry January but lasted until 4th 🤦‍♀️

Hello everyone on this new thread. I’m in a horribly busy train which is a good thing because train journeys out of London are a bit to a trigger but no what am I drinking on this train!

I am feeling so much better for just these 10 days sober, I am sleeping well, I feel much less anxious and so much more energetic. Such weird vivid dreams, quite racy Ravenously hungry today, but I have been exercising more so have built up an appetite. I need a morning I can sleep in, I'm so deeply asleep in the morning at the moment when my alarm goes off and it would be lovely to just wake up naturally

Found you! Still in the game this end, though just trudging through the days at the moment. Not having a good year to date on a number of accounts.

Today's offering is another quit lit one - hope it's of interest.

https://wellitywellness.com/2024/01/10/dry-january-10-mrs-d-is-going-without/

Day 10 almost done. It is SO annoying that not drinking makes me feel so much better. Why can’t wine be good for you?

@afaloren a very good point ! 🤣
Apparently it is - in small doses. So, a thimble full.

@enoughisenough4 always a bottle for me too. I tried buying an expensive bottle in the hope I'd make it last... nope.

@Hohofortherobbers what is it with the vivid dreams? last night was mental. its a big disadvantage

Trouble for me with not drinking is having to feel all the feelings. Really want a drink tonight.

Morning, I miscounted and did myself a disservice - it was actually day 12 yesterday and now I'm in day 13 - nearly 2 weeks in the bag!

I've been having vivid dreams too, I enjoy them. No waking up dehydrated after 4 hours is great

It is absolutely freezing which is a big trigger for me in the evenings as a drink would warm me straight up - could have had a hot toddy last night easily but resisted. I have some time off at the end of the month too which is normally a green light for me to drink as much as I like - need to get through that too.
But if I can survive the coldest month I think I can do this!

I'm aiming to have the month off, then after that only weekends - which for me will include Friday, Saturday and Sunday but I can only choose two of them, and then only when I have an evening with DH. Going to keep the Extremely Bad Day Clause (although it has to be REALLY bad like someone died or something, not just a bit busy at work) and also maybe have an exception for work nights out, they are rare but often in the week as we do shifts. Or I might just not drink on the work nights out then I can drive!

@Freezingfeetwarmheart well done ! You're doing really well.
This cold weather is good for me, drink wise. I struggle in summer. Thankfully, we never really have one.
I like your plan. Last year, from September to December, I was only drinking on a Friday. It was going well - I'm back to that I think as the whole month abstention is not realistic for me. And you have to do what works for you.
Sundays I always struggle with, but recently they've not been as bad.

@Swannyb @Amdone123 thanks for the warm welcome.

I've drunk daily bar pregnancy and severe illness since lockdown now. A bottle of wine a night. More at weekends. Then it was a bottle of wine and a whiskey chaser midweek.

Waking up feeling shit, glassy eyed. Gained a huge amount of weight. Anxious, Fat fingers. Huge belly. Stomach pains.

It was never a "problem" because I always got up for work and always had dinner on the table. Always had an internal dialogue about how I was ok and it wasn't a problem.

Since starting Dry Jan - I find have so much more TIME. I'm staying on top of laundry. Meal planning. Doing a little exercise. I'm a much nicer mother. Less stressed.

My mind was constantly on drinking on WHEN could I start drinking, how much could I drink, is there enough to drink, stop at the shop on the way home even though money was tight.

I've avoided a lot of triggers, made NO social plans this month whatsoever. Rode out the 6pm witching hour.

I've been listening to a lot of podcasts and for me I NEED to reframe it as not missing out, not giving up, but what I gain.

I'm a much better mum this week, I don't wake up ashamed of myself, I'm not mid-panic attack doing my makeup for work.

It's not easy - but I'm doing it.

The real challenge will be the end of the month. What do I do then?! Carry on sober or slip back into old habits. Today is literally one day at a time.

AF#10 Enjoy the feeling of being sober

I'm very happy to have made it to double digit land. It has been many months since I was here, and it feels good! Day off today - looking forward to getting the house in better shape for a start. I'm hoping that this feeling of accomplishment (and the habit of not drinking) are going to really help when I start feeling properly better...and the strong drinking urges strike.

Been thinking of setting myself sober challenges in the February - like 'really enjoy a sober [evening] meal out with DH'. Then the reality of the frustrations around DH's drinking strikes me and...I haven't said a word to him about dry January or not drinking. I've just stopped drinking. Likewise he hasn't said any further word about cutting down (he made a declaration in December) or cut down. We've both said nothing at all about our or each others drinking. That is a challenge right now for me - to say nothing, just do it. I know it is the best thing I can do though - for both of us.

@NCgoingdry - hello and welcome!

@Freezingfeetwarmheart sounds like an excellent plan!

@colouringindoors I've been trying to train myself to sit with my feelings too. Definitely have/had a strong urge to reach for the wine when nearly any emotion become heightened.

@NCgoingdry wow, you're doing brilliantly. So many positives and benefits for you being af. And I know how hard it is to get off that treadmill, so well done.
Definitely take it one day at a time. Don't worry about the end of dry Jan ; I found myself doing this in the early days ( still do) one day at a time for now. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

@Coppergate7 well done on double digits, that's really good.
I hope you get lots done today.
I love your idea of mini challenges. I'll have a think about this later.

Day 11 here and I am having a great week. But I am missing it. In fact, I dreamt about it. No racy dreams about heart throbs for me. Typical.

I'm not sleeping ( but feel fine) because I'm watching tennis through the night, so my days and nights are upside down. Says hi to Australia!
At least, when I watch, it's hot drinks time, not like Wimbledon - now that is a struggle.

@NCgoingdry I am also worried about Feb. I know being sober is so much better for me but I already have a couple if mates lining me up for a night out in Feb, one already pencilled in for 3rd Feb. I'm feeling so positive about not drinking I'm thinking about suggesting dinner put st a lovely indian near her, I can then plausibly drive and they may have an AF beer available, as beer with curry is good!! Alternatively I could just be brave and say I'm not drinking, no excuse required

@Hohofortherobbers that's a great way of thinking. 3rd Feb is a few weeks away so it doesn't need too much headspace, but I think you do need to think a little about it.

Huge well done @NCgoingdry . It sounds like you’re doing amazingly well. Keep it up. I agree with time - it feels like everything else (within reason) falls into place when I am not drinking.

Placemarking mainly.

I did post on the DJ thread and don’t want to be a bore to those who read both by repeating myself, but I’ve really surprised myself today by taking my blood pressure. It was high for a chunk of last year - properly up in the red. Today was the first time I’ve take it in Jan, and it’s back down to normal levels.

that’s down to not drinking. I feel less stressed, more in control, less panicky and less anxious. I am hydrated (a factor in blood pressure) and well rested. And the result is that!! I’m really surprised!! It’s a tangible thing and I think I needed that; seeing those numbers.

also banishing DH to the spare room has helped too - his snoring and snuffling and fidgeting all night has ruined my sleep for years. That’s helped me not drink too, as I often drink SO I will sleep through his noise. Which I know is counter productive now but anyway….

I feel so much more positive. I need to remember this post Jan, and sort out these stupid post work twitches and I’m there!

@Mykittensmittens that's a brilliant result. My dh has one of those machines, I think I'll do mine.
He's also banished to the spare room.
What day are you on then ? Or did you start before Xmas,?

@Amdone123 11. I’ve not been sober for 11 days since the last DJ I did in 2021, and I failed for some reason in the middle, persuading myself I’d done enough.

the big big scary one will be a health evaluation at the end of Jan. Work pay for it via bupa. It’ll mean a full spectrum blood including liver function. Whenever I’m wobbling at the moment, I keep thinking about doing that test.

P.s. Day 11 and I have cracked.

We were at a friends today and I had two glasses (but stopped after that). To be honest, they weren’t even enjoyable so there was no point to it.

I am not too disappointed though as it was moderated and I don’t feel like it has ‘set me off’ to binge drink (or eat). I just need to be careful this weekend. 🤞🏻

I am in Australia for those who aren’t aware (if the time of day is concerning 😂).