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Alcohol support

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Freedom! An alcohol free thread, for alcohol free people.

999 replies

Drybird2020 · 16/08/2021 20:30

This is the latest in an established series of supportive and friendly threads, for anyone committing to a life without booze. If you have tried and failed to be a sensible, occasional or moderate drinker, and have come to the conclusion that you just can’t do it, you are in good company.

I won’t lie, the first part is tough. And it’s tougher for some than others. You will need to learn new ways of managing stress and negotiating social occasions. You will have to learn that alcohol and fun are not the same thing. Your relationships will change, often for the better, but some hard-drinking friends will turn away from the mirror your sobriety holds up to their own habits. You will find that the feelings you tried to drown in booze, come bubbling up to the surface and there’s no option but to face them. You will feel physically and emotionally low, as you relive and regret the stupid, painful and selfish things you did while drinking.

Here’s the good news: the first part will soon be over. It will be more worth it than you can possibly imagine. Life will still be messy, difficult and poignant, but so much sweeter, sharper, and more real.

This thread is a great place to ask for advice and tips, whinge and moan, check in for daily accountability, and run to when you have a craving that scares you. We also have quality chat about running, books, gardening, pets, and occasional meaningful conversations about our lives. Grin

As should be obvious from the above, the thread is a DRY ZONE. Discussion of current drinking is extremely unhelpful to anyone in the early days, and people who have been alcohol-free for a long time benefit from a safe, dry space to talk. If you are looking to stop imminently and need to ask questions, go ahead, but leave your glass at the door. You wouldn’t take a drink to an AA meeting, so don’t do it here. You are welcome to post regularly from Day 1 onwards. If you suspect you have a physical dependency and need to cut down, seek medical help. If you want to be alcohol free except for a glass at Christmas and on your birthday, that’s moderation and you can talk about it on a moderation thread.

This is a rather long OP already so might I suggest that people use their first post to recommend their favourite quit-lit or other sources of help and support? Don't forget to say hello and a little bit abut your journey (if you want to). Many thanks.

Brew Cake Flowers

OP posts:
ChampooPapi · 18/09/2021 20:11

@Breathmiller all good here, thanks for asking. Just had a very very busy day with 3 of my girls (the 4th is actually in hospital , just a chest/sinus infection they think but they are monitoring her overnight). It would for sure have been a couple of large glasses of wine after the relentlessness of the twins and pre schooler high jinks, especially mixed with the worry about the 11 year old. But her father is with her, we are all okay and it will be fine. No booze will help and I'm just about to go to bed to bless the end of this day.

Start my nursing degree Monday, it is giving me even more of a reason to keep a clear head.

How are you doing? What do you do for a living yourself ?

Nosilayak · 18/09/2021 20:16

Hi everyone, hope you are all enjoying your AF Saturday night. For me it's the worst time of the week as its when I always drank. In fact, I can't remember a Saturday night over the last 30 years when I haven't drunk alcohol. I could do it no problem in my younger days but gradually over the years, my drinking has increased and so have the hangovers. I must confess to feeling a bit bored tonight and I was nearly tempted to buy red wine in Asda earlier but I resisted.
Usually, at this time of night I'd be happy in my alcoholic fuzz, spread out on the settee watching any old rubbish and nodding off. Then waking up about midnight and going to bed dreading how rough I'll feel in the morning. Whereas now I'm wide awake and scouring Netflix and Prime for something good to watch, knowing I'll be able to get up early with my dog in the morning and go out. I enjoyed a glass of Appletise with my dinner tonight but I'm going to have a try of this Nosecco you are all talking about. Hope you are all enjoying your evening and staying strong x

iamyourequal · 18/09/2021 20:21

Evening all. @Breathmiller, I’m so pleased it gets easier every time as I really want this to be my last time giving up! Glad the running is still going strong @BunniesBunniesBunnies. Exercise is part of my long term goal but not making it past yoga and walking at the moment!
I’m on my phone and can’t scroll back up to remember names, but I can report Nosecco (Nozeco now as they lost trademark court case against Prosecco producers) is drinkable, more so if very well chilled. It’s sweeter than Prosecco and has a strange musty note at first, but you can learn to love it! I have an M&S alcohol free G&T can chilling so I will report on that later. My other favorite is AF Becks Blue, as it’s like real thing and not sweet.
I had a good day today and hope you all have too. Blitzed kitchen and baked early morning, ran errands late morning, took my mum for long walk and tea & cake in afternoon. Were having pizza for dinner. This is something I dreaded first couple times I gave up booze as couldn’t face it without wine. It seems a bit easier this time. Enjoy Saturday night all.

StopWineIng · 18/09/2021 20:22

@Adm1010 well done for not giving in. I’ve been so proud of myself this weekend. I have been in 4 social situations where I would have usually jumped at the chance of a drink, club house, beach, pub and away for the weekend. I have been offered drinks & said no. My DH even just asked if I wanted a glass of wine with our takeaway and I said no, and it felt good.

@ChampooPapi I hope your daughter recovers quickly. So many nasty viruses at the moment. Congrats on the start of your nursing degree too. I hope you enjoy it and succeed.

Well done for staying strong @Nosilayak I’m with you on the Saturday night thing! Well Friday and Saturday I usually always had a drink. Lots of water consumed today!

iamyourequal · 18/09/2021 20:24

@BunniesBunniesBunnies. Forgot to say , craving did pass last night, so day 18 here. Well done others reaching big/bigger/never seen than one before AF happy numbers. Check us out! 😇 👼 ☕️

BunniesBunniesBunnies · 18/09/2021 20:29

Glad the craving past @iamyourequal!

So much positivity on this thread. Your struggles are also welcome here of course😅 but it’s nice seeing people do so well.

I had a lovely day, lovely hangover free run and a bike ride with the kids.

Good luck with the nursing degree @ChampooPapi!!! That’s very exciting!

iamyourequal · 18/09/2021 20:30

@ChampooPapi. Wishing your DD a really speedy recovery. @Nosilayak, I totally get you. I gave up last summer and it was the Saturday nights I found so hard. I think I used to feel so cross with myself because it seemed fair we all get a drink on Saturday night for being good all week. Stay strong, the more dry Sat nights we have behind us the easier the ones in front will be. I’m away now, as starting to spam up the threat with my ramblings Grin!!

ChampooPapi · 18/09/2021 20:31

Thank you @StopWineIng and @BunniesBunniesBunnies 😊 can't wait!

iamyourequal · 18/09/2021 20:34

Well done @StopWineIng. Managing a weekend away is amazing.

SoberSept21 · 18/09/2021 20:50

Good evening all.
I had my first takeaway since giving up alcohol (day 13 today) and it was fine - I had ginger beer in a wine glass with ice and it was refreshing and felt like a treat.
I've realised that my wine witch calls at 4.30 pm and keeps calling until dinner is on the table so I need to keep busy to keep her quiet - once that's done, I'm fine, I can focus on how food it feels to not be drinking, being active in the bedtime routine rather than wishing it away to get back to the wine and enjoy
my decaf Early Gray. Happy sober Saturday x

Adm1010 · 19/09/2021 06:15

@StopWineIng well done , those situations are really testing!

@Nosilayak hope you wake feeling fresh and glad you managed to stay sober last night despite the temptation

I have again got up ready to go for an overtime shift . I’m very very tired this morning as I was awake till gone 1 o’clock as I waited for my son to get in . BUT as tired as I am I’m thankful I don’t have an hangover on top of that as well ! It would be unbearable .

AlloftheTime · 19/09/2021 07:23

Adm - well done you 👍
Have a good Sunday everyone
Checking in

Kindtomyself · 19/09/2021 08:04

Morning Day 15. Yes amazing to wake up without a hangover again. I also had a takeaway last night and would normally have a couple of beers and wine with it but instead had lemonade and it was all good. I do feel dehydrated this morning though. Add alcohol to the mix and I wouldn’t be feeling too great this morning.

Have a good day all

AlloftheTime · 19/09/2021 08:27

Kindtomyself it’s amazing isn’t it? A takeaway evening was just as enjoyable AF - guessing this resonates with many of us. Well done, you really are living up to your name!

Breathmiller · 19/09/2021 09:18

champoopapi i hope your daughter gets better soon. One of boys used to be in and out hospital with brittle asthma. Not so much fun but he has grown out of it being so bad now he's an adult. I hope your daughter does the same.

I am a full time yoga & meditation teacher and therapist.

It's my birthday today. Happy hangover free and alcohol free birthday to me! Grin

SoberSept21 · 19/09/2021 09:28

Happy birthday @Breathmiller Thanks

AlloftheTime · 19/09/2021 09:37

Happy birthday breathmiller you sound well suited to your profession. Have a great day 🎉

StopWineIng · 19/09/2021 09:43

Happy birthday @Breathmiller have a lovely day xxx

AM130674 · 19/09/2021 09:52

Morning, can I join you? I'm day 7. Always loved a drink, which has gotten progressively worse and through pandemic found myself drinking up to two bottles daily. I was functioning with busy life and family problems. I've never needed to drink in morning to get through, but always clock watched til 5pm. I think is longest I have gone without in last 6 years.

I knew I needed to cut down, but a kidney infection and antibiotics has put me here. I am feeling much better, think I have withdrawals (bad night sweats, waking up with headache, moody - although some of this is menopause too Grin) but I am largely dealing with it.

I need to do this for so many reasons but also know it is going to be hard, so day by day right now.

Any tips? I work full time so out of home 12 hours a day now I'm back in the office. Three kids 16, 12 and 6, youngest of whom is disabled and due surgery soon, which I am dreading, so need a new coping mechanism.

Thanks for reading.

AlloftheTime · 19/09/2021 10:30

@AM130674 you’re in a good place, well done on your first week. It won’t be easy but you will get good support here. Worth reading some of the posts at the beginning and many people use books and podcasts. I’m sure someone will be along soon with suggestions. You’ve already taken a big step so well done

iamyourequal · 19/09/2021 10:34

Happy Birthday @Breathmiller. I hope you have a lovely day. CakeFlowers
Welcome @ AM130674. Well done so far. Lots of others will be on soon to give good advice I am sure. My own tip would be trying the free ‘This Naked Mind’ thirty day experiment and read Allen Carr’s Easyway. I think it’s true that giving up by relying on willpower is doomed.
The most important thing though is don’t be tempted to have one, at all, even when you have managed so many weeks you think you are now a ‘take it or leave it’ person. Wishing you success and hope your kidney infection is better.

Perriwinkles · 19/09/2021 11:26

Happy Birthday @Breathmiller

Nosilayak · 19/09/2021 13:14

Have a great birthday @Breathmiller x

Drybird2020 · 19/09/2021 13:29

Happy Birthday, @Breathmiller, you total legend xxx

OP posts:
ChampooPapi · 19/09/2021 17:59

@Breathmiller hope you had lovely day 👑🎉