Freedom! An alcohol free thread, for alcohol free people.

[Drybird2020]

This is the latest in an established series of supportive and friendly threads, for anyone committing to a life without booze. If you have tried and failed to be a sensible, occasional or moderate drinker, and have come to the conclusion that you just can’t do it, you are in good company.

I won’t lie, the first part is tough. And it’s tougher for some than others. You will need to learn new ways of managing stress and negotiating social occasions. You will have to learn that alcohol and fun are not the same thing. Your relationships will change, often for the better, but some hard-drinking friends will turn away from the mirror your sobriety holds up to their own habits. You will find that the feelings you tried to drown in booze, come bubbling up to the surface and there’s no option but to face them. You will feel physically and emotionally low, as you relive and regret the stupid, painful and selfish things you did while drinking.

Here’s the good news: the first part will soon be over. It will be more worth it than you can possibly imagine. Life will still be messy, difficult and poignant, but so much sweeter, sharper, and more real.

This thread is a great place to ask for advice and tips, whinge and moan, check in for daily accountability, and run to when you have a craving that scares you. We also have quality chat about running, books, gardening, pets, and occasional meaningful conversations about our lives.

As should be obvious from the above, the thread is a DRY ZONE. Discussion of current drinking is extremely unhelpful to anyone in the early days, and people who have been alcohol-free for a long time benefit from a safe, dry space to talk. If you are looking to stop imminently and need to ask questions, go ahead, but leave your glass at the door. You wouldn’t take a drink to an AA meeting, so don’t do it here. You are welcome to post regularly from Day 1 onwards. If you suspect you have a physical dependency and need to cut down, seek medical help. If you want to be alcohol free except for a glass at Christmas and on your birthday, that’s moderation and you can talk about it on a moderation thread.

This is a rather long OP already so might I suggest that people use their first post to recommend their favourite quit-lit or other sources of help and support? Don't forget to say hello and a little bit abut your journey (if you want to). Many thanks.

Morning all Day 13 for me. Thanks @Drybird2020 for your reassurance on feeling tired. I’m taking B vitamins so hopefully will feel more lively soon. I’m reading all the old threads which are really motivating- I’m up to thread 4 or 5 (can’t remember which). The only problem is that I keep wanting to comment on the old thread when something resonates with me and then I remember it’s an old thread!
@Adm1010 glad to hear you’re feeling good today and that your headache has shifted.

I’m still feeling very positive, I hope this continues. I’m just so happy not to be thinking about alcohol in a ‘what time can I have a drink tonight’ ‘I mustn’t have too much to drink’ (and then always do). Now my life is easier because I don’t have to have an alcohol discussion with myself because I’m just not drinking.

Have a good day all 😊

Lovely to hear from you Iamyourequal and all the others.

Not been on much lately but I have been dropping in to read some posts. Loving seeing the days and weeks ramping up for those starting out. Keep going! It's so worth it and your future self (if even just tomorrow's self) will thank you.

I had to actually think about how long it's been , I don't count even in months anymore. It's somewhere over 13 months though.

It's my birthday on Sunday and I realised it didn't even cross my mind to drink or that I was missing out. I LOVE not drinking. It's just part of my life and who I am now.

For those that have Friday or the weekend as a trigger it does get better I promise. I went from drinking AF alternatives every night to it being my Friday treat. I still usually have an AF cider on a Friday but more because I enjoy it as a drink in itself rather than needing it as a placebo if you know what I mean. I have no desire for it to be an alcoholic version. And tonight I was thirsty and had some mango juice and enjoyed that. I have some nosecco and a bottle of cider for the weekend but I had no desire for it tonight. In my past, desire or need wouldn't even have come into. I would have been through the same alcoholic equivalent, and more whether I really wanted it or not. Because that's what I did to celebrate. And with a birthday on Sunday and a first weekend off in a while I would have been fairly pissed by now. No thanks.

So just over a year ago, I am so, so grateful that I stopped drinking. It really was the best 50th present to myself then. Yes, I have pangs now and again but they pass fairly quickly and most of the time I don't even think about it. I've broken the habit as much as anything and evenings and/or are not dedicated to alcohol.

I had dinner with friends last Saturday and we laughed like we hadn't for ages. The other adults were drinking, i wasn't. Didn't in anyway make any bloody difference, I had a ball. And it didn't put them up nor down that the bottle that topped up my glass was nosecco instead of prosecco.

And/or weekends

Hi @Breathmiller. So pleased you are continuing to do so well. What a comfort it is to hear the cravings diminish. I can remember you were having a family weekend away for your birthday last year, booze free. It’s great you are still going strong. I’m day 17 and worst cravings yet crept up on me after work today. I took myself out for a walk, listened to a sober podcast and had a hot bath on my return. Made it through. I hope everyone else is managing too.

Hi @Kindtomyself. You are right, the only decision at the moment is not to drink. It is easier in a way isn’t it?!! I should maybe start taking some of the stacks of unopened vitamins lurking in my medicine cupboard too. Could certainly do with some energy 😂

@Breathmiller I love that thought and comment that my future self will thank me. Looking forward to tomorrow as I will feel so much better having replaced my usual bottle of wine (sometimes an extra glass too) with 2 pints of squash. We went to the club house on the holiday park site we are staying on and it was so tempting to drink with everyone else. Even at 9pm when asked what I wanted to drink I thought ‘one glass won’t hurt’ but I managed to ignore it then came back shortly after to settle the kids and get into bed myself!

The “ one glass won’t hurt “ voice is awful . I KNOW one glass isn’t enough because I’m confused by people who sip at one glass and say it’s “ relaxing “ . The first glass to me was the starter , the aperitif, an amuse bouche! It didn’t touch the sides . So for me I have to never have “ one glass “ , which makes that particular voice the most dangerous .
Feeling clear headed . I’m up this morning to work overtime at my second job . Needs must when children are at university ! But I’m not dragging myself there with an hangover which is a bonus
Happy sober Saturday everyone

I roll my eyes at the “one glass won’t hurt” voice, because both the dreaded voice and I know that I don’t want one glass, I want four!🤣

@iamyourequal I’m sure many of us will relate to your attempt at moderation - I know I do. Sorry you had a bad craving yesterday, I hope it passed and you’re feeling okay. You’ve done AF before so you can totally do it again👍💪💪💪

I’ve been doing okay, just kind of plodding along. Work busy but kids are back in school which makes a difference, and yes I’m still running! I don’t seem to be getting any faster😅 but I love it anyway!

@Adm1010 sounds like a good day in the making!
And bunnies it not speed it’s your style and hat counts.

Another Friday night done successfully and a full Saturday ahead, bring it on!
A good weekend to all.

@BunniesBunniesBunnies I never get any faster either! But it's lovely to ge able to get out for an early run because I'm not dying of a hangover in bed!
@Adm1010 I laughed at your post about the first glass being the starter 🤣 I knew I had to stop when the first bottle was going that way...
Happy sober Saturday everyone, day 24 for me!!! Who even am I any more!?!

iamyourequal
Yes, I went away for a week for my 50th with my family, how lovelyof you to remember. And half way through the bloody covid rules changed to no house mixing. But we did have a great week.

It's funny how a year makes such a difference. Last year, I wondered how or if I'd manage. My daughter would be bringing red wine and that would surely be my downfall. Or the thought that I'd cave. Or the question of what on earth was I doing not waiting til after my 50th to start?

But it really was a perfect week. (Covid rules aside) and I enjoyed every moment. Not in spite of not drinking but I think in part because I wasn't drinking. It enhanced the week, not in any way lessened it. And it definitely made me feel a bit invincible. If I could celebrate a milestone birthday without booze then I could do this!

I have been where you are many times though. It's not my first run around this hamster wheel. I have tried over the years to moderate, cut down, to stop for long and short periods. It just never stuck. But one of these times it does. It just does. And with a little bit more ease each time. Whatever behaviours we practice we become better at. So I continue to practice notdrinking. And I'm getting better at notdrinking every day.

Keep practising, everyone.

@Breathmiller it is so inspirational to hear your journey and gives me hope that I can do this (27 days in) after many, many years of trying.
A million thanks to this thread 👏

Morning all. Day 14 - 2 weeks hurrah. I’m still struggling with my past and how embarrassing I have been although I’m trying to ‘be kind to myself’. For some reason I thought I was cool drinking loads and thought of others as weak. I’m 50 btw not 17 . I cringe to think about the nights I don’t remember. I’m so bloody pleased to be where I am at the moment. I love not drinking it removes the stress.
I’m off to a yoga class now and I don’t stink of alcohol! Have a good day all

Love this mornings posts. Yep I also laugh at the one glass of wine thought once I’ve pushed it to the back of my head as it wouldn’t have been just one. That one would have been enough to make me stay a bit longer and have just one more, and one more. Then probably one more.

I wouldn’t say I feel fresh this morning but that’s thanks to the kids rather than myself. I do feel much better than I would have though with 1, 2, 3 or 4 glasses of wine on board.

Good morning all. I just read all of your posts carefully and it’s so comforting to know we’re all on this journey together. So much of what you fellow newbies write resonates.

@Breathmiller your posts give me so much hope as that’s how I want to be a year down the line. I’m only on Day 28 & slowly getting energy back but mentally I feel so much better. I feel happier & more positive! It takes getting used to!! But the triggers are there & I’m just avoiding some of them! I have a lovely friend & we always drink two bottles of wine together .. I’m hoping she’ll be ok with lunch from now on! A part of me thinks, ‘I could just drink when I see X’ but somehow I don’t think that’ll work

Happy sober Saturday to all of you sober superstars. Enjoy the Saturday morning activities. It’s great to feel rested and ready for the weekend.

Happy no-hangover Saturday everyone!

Day 19 here.

@StopWineIng - I’m reading the sober diaries by Clare Dooley, she calls the voice that says ‘one won’t hurt’ and other things like ‘you deserve it’ and all sorts of other persuasive ideas the Wine witch. I definitely have a wine witch in my head.

@Breathmiller thank you for sharing your story, it’s clear to see you are in a happy place, and inspiring to us all starting out.

I’ve had a lovely morning feeling non hungover. Swimming lessons this morning and park later and bits of housework mucking around with the kids. Had a healthy lunch, usually I’d be feeling abit rough and just eat anything that might make me feel better, basically loads of rubbish.

I’ve seen mention of nosecco, I’ve never heard of this, is it any good?

@Kittenminion
Yeah I’d love a good nosecco recommendation too. I tried the Tesco one but thought it just tasted like a fizzy drink.

@Kittenminion @Perriwinkles
Good to hear you all sounding so positive at the weekend - I’ve tried the Tesco one in a nice flute glass and didn’t mind it though the one from Sainsbury’s is very nice I thought.

I prefer the Nozecco brand more than the tesco sparkling wine one. I've got a pink nozecco for later tonight or tomorrows celebrations. I used to out fentimans pink lemonade in my plain nozecco but I don't anymore. I find it a bit too sweet now.

@Breathmiller

I prefer the Nozecco brand more than the tesco sparkling wine one. I've got a pink nozecco for later tonight or tomorrows celebrations. I used to out fentimans pink lemonade in my plain nozecco but I don't anymore. I find it a bit too sweet now.

Yes! Just realised I bought it in Tesco but it is the Nozeco brand - black and gold label

Ah, maybe it is. I only have the pink one in so can't check.
If it helps I didn't like it to begin with either but I do now. Maybe took a bit to acclimatise. I also wasn't a huge prosecco drinker so probably wouldn't know the difference so much. That has been something that has come ip in my head a bit. I drink Nozecco and AF cider mostly, which are two things I didn't really drink much of before.

Checking in 🙌

Hi champoopapi
How are you doing?

I tried all sorts of AF drinks when pregnant and I couldn’t take to any of them. I haven’t tried AF cider but I’ve heard good things. I am also trying to lose baby weight though so don’t want to force myself to drive sugary drinks I wouldn’t usually drink x

I’ve never drank alcohol free alternatives. I’ve spent the last fourteen days chugging pints of water . Wake up in the night desperate for a wee though!
Had a fleeting blip earlier , was sat in the garden and thought about a drink . It was sunny and I associate the garden with drinking . Need to work on that