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Alcohol support

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Freedom! An alcohol free thread, for alcohol free people.

999 replies

Drybird2020 · 16/08/2021 20:30

This is the latest in an established series of supportive and friendly threads, for anyone committing to a life without booze. If you have tried and failed to be a sensible, occasional or moderate drinker, and have come to the conclusion that you just can’t do it, you are in good company.

I won’t lie, the first part is tough. And it’s tougher for some than others. You will need to learn new ways of managing stress and negotiating social occasions. You will have to learn that alcohol and fun are not the same thing. Your relationships will change, often for the better, but some hard-drinking friends will turn away from the mirror your sobriety holds up to their own habits. You will find that the feelings you tried to drown in booze, come bubbling up to the surface and there’s no option but to face them. You will feel physically and emotionally low, as you relive and regret the stupid, painful and selfish things you did while drinking.

Here’s the good news: the first part will soon be over. It will be more worth it than you can possibly imagine. Life will still be messy, difficult and poignant, but so much sweeter, sharper, and more real.

This thread is a great place to ask for advice and tips, whinge and moan, check in for daily accountability, and run to when you have a craving that scares you. We also have quality chat about running, books, gardening, pets, and occasional meaningful conversations about our lives. Grin

As should be obvious from the above, the thread is a DRY ZONE. Discussion of current drinking is extremely unhelpful to anyone in the early days, and people who have been alcohol-free for a long time benefit from a safe, dry space to talk. If you are looking to stop imminently and need to ask questions, go ahead, but leave your glass at the door. You wouldn’t take a drink to an AA meeting, so don’t do it here. You are welcome to post regularly from Day 1 onwards. If you suspect you have a physical dependency and need to cut down, seek medical help. If you want to be alcohol free except for a glass at Christmas and on your birthday, that’s moderation and you can talk about it on a moderation thread.

This is a rather long OP already so might I suggest that people use their first post to recommend their favourite quit-lit or other sources of help and support? Don't forget to say hello and a little bit abut your journey (if you want to). Many thanks.

Brew Cake Flowers

OP posts:
AlloftheTime · 15/09/2021 06:52

Good post to start the day @Kittenminion positive and realistic about the issue of moderation.
Newmum I’m guessing many of us can understand how you were feeling, well done!
Have the best day you can 👍

Perriwinkles · 15/09/2021 07:11

Resisting makes us stronger. Well done @Newmum29 for resisting.

Have a great sober Wednesday all.

mumtoallbhoys · 15/09/2021 07:36

I have a Friday night visitor who is just starting their AF journey, I'm so proud of her and what she has achieved and she looks fab.

Anyway tell me the best alcohol free drinks to give someone? She still likes the taste but I haven't bought zero booze. Obviously I won't demand they are consumed if she wants to stick with water but I thought it would be nice?

SoberSept21 · 15/09/2021 07:45

@mumtoallbhoys I quite like Heineken zero (or whatever it's called). Would y consider getting in the ingredients for a mocktail or 2?

Kindtomyself · 15/09/2021 08:09

Morning. Day 11. I’m so pleased to be here. I’m sleeping very well but still tired in the morning. I’m so proud of myself, I definitely won’t be drinking today. I’m meeting a friend for a walk later which will be lovely. Hope you have a great day all.

Nosilayak · 15/09/2021 08:46

Morning everyone, well done for getting through another AF day and night. Wishing you all a lovely day x

imamearcat · 15/09/2021 10:18

Morning everyone. Day 10 for me. Feels like a little milestone.

mumtoallbhoys · 15/09/2021 10:37

@SoberSept21
Mock tail is kind of what I was thinking, but discrete... eg I have this lovely sparkling water and grapefruit. I think she wants to be discrete and the alcohol zero is too loud if you know what I mean... also if she doesn't take I am stuck with it

BunniesBunniesBunnies · 15/09/2021 12:02

It’s so lovely to see the thread so busy! Well done everyone!💪

StopWineIng · 15/09/2021 13:10

@Newmum29 I have a 5m old that is waking me up every 2hrs again at the moment so that gives me a reason to avoid avoid avoid at the moment! Well done for not giving in x

SoberSept21 · 15/09/2021 17:47

@mumtoallbhoys I think these look lovely www.taste.com.au/galleries/mocktail-recipes-wont-disappoint/fo39k1mt?page=9

Perriwinkles · 15/09/2021 18:30

@SoberSept21
Those mocktail recipes took yummy! I’ve saved the link for when I’ve more energy to make them. Grin

@mumtoallbhoys
My favourite alcohol free drinks are: Weigenstephaner alcohol free beer, Erdinger alcohol free beer and fancy cordials or ginger beer with slices of lime and ice. I also like apple juice mixed with sparkling water and tonic water mixed with one of the fancy cordials.

Perriwinkles · 15/09/2021 18:30

look

Adm1010 · 15/09/2021 18:30

Checking in . Wanted to share a little thing that happened a couple of weeks ago . A Friday evening . Stuck well into the wine and starting on the gin . Kitchens a bomb site and obvious drinking debris …
My youngest son ( 17 ) is out somewhere . My middle son ( 20 ) wanders in . Sees me pouring a gin . He asks me “ what would you do if there’s an emergency with “DS “ and Youre to drunk to get to him “ …

It was the question and the word “ drunk “ that got me .
Anyway Day 11 today . Onwards .

Perriwinkles · 15/09/2021 18:30

Weihenstephaner

Perriwinkles · 15/09/2021 18:31

@Adm1010
Day 11. Well done. Keep strong. WinkFlowers

whatever47 · 15/09/2021 19:01

I'm so glad to have this thread, thank you everyone 💗
Checking in day 21. Still feeling a bit rubbish (mainly really tired) but thrilled I have got this far - couldn't have done it without you all.
Just finished The Unexpected Joy of being Sober, laughed and cried so many times, so much resonated.
Early night with a cup of tea soon, too tired and headachy to think about wine.

ChampooPapi · 15/09/2021 19:02

@Perriwinkles Erdinger alcohol free beer is the best! It tastes like the real deal and is filling in a way other alcohol drinks often are not

imamearcat · 15/09/2021 19:39

Well done everyone! Feeling really good today. I've hardly even thought about it. Things will get difficult now though, in-laws coming tomorrow for birthday celebrations to begin so the drinks will be flowing. But feeling positive! I can do this!!

Perriwinkles · 15/09/2021 21:02

It's a great book all right @whatever47 I'm halfway through.

Yeah I love Erdinger @ChampooPapi It (along with the other AF drinks) helps to keep me on the straight and narrow.

You definitely can do it @imamearcat It sounds tough but you'll be able to mentally prepare.

Perriwinkles · 15/09/2021 21:03

Day 25 done. Good night to you all. xx

SoberSept21 · 15/09/2021 21:25

I've been adding the money I'd spend on booze in to a savings account. Including the credit on my wine subscription that I cancelled, I hit £100 today (and that was being reserved in my estimate of my spend). It's crazy how quickly that's happened. Feeling guilty now at the money I've wasted over the years Blush

AlloftheTime · 15/09/2021 22:31

Sobersept don’t feel guilty, feel proud of where you are now.

Night all, thanks for all the posts

Newmum29 · 15/09/2021 23:00

The Unexpected joy of being sober is what finally made me stop feeling guilty about not being able to drink on moderation. I just don’t think most people get how addictive alcohol is. Like pp I could stop for months and months and then start with just one, just two and it would quickly tip over into four or more.

Kindtomyself · 16/09/2021 06:47

Morning Day 12. Very pleased. I’m feeling lots better emotionally but I’m still exhausted. I wake up with the alarm but could easily just go back to sleep. I usually exercise but had decided to just be kind to my self (hence the name) and take it easy while my body is on the mend. I feel like I could sleep all day- very odd. I’ve got a headache today too. However, I’d rather feel like this than be waking up with a hangover and trying to remember what I said last night 🥴