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Alcohol support

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Freedom! An alcohol free thread, for alcohol free people.

999 replies

Drybird2020 · 16/08/2021 20:30

This is the latest in an established series of supportive and friendly threads, for anyone committing to a life without booze. If you have tried and failed to be a sensible, occasional or moderate drinker, and have come to the conclusion that you just can’t do it, you are in good company.

I won’t lie, the first part is tough. And it’s tougher for some than others. You will need to learn new ways of managing stress and negotiating social occasions. You will have to learn that alcohol and fun are not the same thing. Your relationships will change, often for the better, but some hard-drinking friends will turn away from the mirror your sobriety holds up to their own habits. You will find that the feelings you tried to drown in booze, come bubbling up to the surface and there’s no option but to face them. You will feel physically and emotionally low, as you relive and regret the stupid, painful and selfish things you did while drinking.

Here’s the good news: the first part will soon be over. It will be more worth it than you can possibly imagine. Life will still be messy, difficult and poignant, but so much sweeter, sharper, and more real.

This thread is a great place to ask for advice and tips, whinge and moan, check in for daily accountability, and run to when you have a craving that scares you. We also have quality chat about running, books, gardening, pets, and occasional meaningful conversations about our lives. Grin

As should be obvious from the above, the thread is a DRY ZONE. Discussion of current drinking is extremely unhelpful to anyone in the early days, and people who have been alcohol-free for a long time benefit from a safe, dry space to talk. If you are looking to stop imminently and need to ask questions, go ahead, but leave your glass at the door. You wouldn’t take a drink to an AA meeting, so don’t do it here. You are welcome to post regularly from Day 1 onwards. If you suspect you have a physical dependency and need to cut down, seek medical help. If you want to be alcohol free except for a glass at Christmas and on your birthday, that’s moderation and you can talk about it on a moderation thread.

This is a rather long OP already so might I suggest that people use their first post to recommend their favourite quit-lit or other sources of help and support? Don't forget to say hello and a little bit abut your journey (if you want to). Many thanks.

Brew Cake Flowers

OP posts:
Adm1010 · 16/09/2021 07:24

@SoberSept21 that’s a great idea . I dread to think the money I’ve wasted ! How long did it take to hit a hundred?

@Kindtomyself I’m day 12 as well and feel like you . Hope this headache lifts soon!

Perriwinkles · 16/09/2021 07:39

@Newmum29
Yeah! Moderation is the hardest! How is it that some people can take or leave a drink? I’ve never understood that!

AlloftheTime · 16/09/2021 07:55

I am sitting in bed with a lovely clear head working out how to juggle what I need to do today. It struck me how much easier it is to make good decisions and carry through on them with no lingering effects of the day before. I don’t say this to boast, I realise where I am in this journey. It just seemed worth saying to those who have a headache, fatigue or may just be thinking about alcohol, the reward is there for the taking - hang on in there.
Put your best self out there today and tell yourself you’re worth it!
Checking in here cos it really helps.

🌺

Kindtomyself · 16/09/2021 07:58

@Adm1010 sorry to hear you’ve got a headache too. Let’s hope they clear soon, I would love to curl up in bed and sleep.

@Perriwinkles and @Newmum29. yes I don’t understand the moderating thing either

SoberSept21 · 16/09/2021 08:03

@Adm1010 I had £40 credit in a wine subscription scheme and I'm saving £7.50 a day - thinking that's a bottle of wine a day on average so just 10 days (I'm ashamed to say)

Adm1010 · 16/09/2021 08:07

@SoberSept21 ashamed??? You should be proud that’s amazing!! £7.50 a day sounds great , might think about doing that .

I’ve got a day off today ( shift work ) I plan to potter . Thinking of making pizzas for tea , nice and easy! My DH has bought me some nice juice and posh lemonade if there is such a thing … I’ll report back Grin

Drybird2020 · 16/09/2021 15:44

@Kindtomyself - great name! And a nice wee reminder to others. Tiredness is definitely A Thing. I saw it as recovery from a decades long bender, my body needed rest time. I had headaches too, probably the detox effect.

But, and this goes for everyone near the start, TAKE SOME B VITAMINS if you are not already doing so.

Keep going. You're doing so well to be where you are, and it's all worth it.

OP posts:
Kittenminion · 16/09/2021 16:17

So glad to hear tiredness is a thing, I feel like my brain is tired. It’s functioning fine but I don’t feel altogether present. It’s almost like my brain is a bit blurry and it makes me tired because I feel abit disconnected from everything. Not sure if that makes any sense at all! I’ve just started taking floradix which I think has some b vits in too. I was really beginning to think something is wrong with my brain, but maybe I need to calm down and patiently wait it out a bit longer! I’m only 2 and a bit weeks in.

After the initial few days when I slept brilliantly, I am finding my sleep is not that great. I am waking up between 5 and 6 every morning. I have been getting up and reading some AF books. At least it gives me some quiet time to reflect and remind myself why I am doing this. But I think I’d prefer the extra sleep!

Adm1010 · 16/09/2021 18:39

So I’m following in sobersept21 footsteps and I’ve put 5 pound into my savings . I plan to do this every day I don’t drink .

SoberSept21 · 16/09/2021 19:41

@Adm1010 that's great - it really helps me. I like seeing the money accumulate and that it's actually mine. The I am Sober app shows the money you've saved if you'd find that helpful but without actually moving the money if that makes sense?

iamyourequal · 16/09/2021 20:31

Hi All. I hope it’s ok for me to rejoin you guys? It’s been a while! I’ve really appreciated dipping in to the thread and I am, as ever, super impressed with you all for embracing sobriety, especially those of you who are already long-haul T-totally fantastic and leading by example (@Drybird2020, @Breathmiller, @BunniesBunniesBunnies etc). Hello all newbies and folks I’ve temporarily forgotten. 😀

imamearcat · 16/09/2021 20:37

So in-laws arrived today. I was out with the kids until 6, got back and MIL already sozzled. She then started kicking off about someone not coming to the party and then stormed off to bed! Just made me realise how ridiculous people are when drunk.

Has anyone read the easyway book? Just reading it now but pretty hard going.

BunniesBunniesBunnies · 16/09/2021 20:46

@iamyourequal welcome back🤩
How have you been?

StopWineIng · 16/09/2021 21:35

Checking in. Day 12… I stopped counting daily but felt I needed to check. Feels like day 112. My actual days seem to fly by but it feels like I’ve been doing this much longer than 12 days.

Still knackered…. I blame the baby though.

@Kittenminion I have also recently started Floradix. I’m taking a magnesium supplement too which could help with sleep and anxiety. Although, I have a small person more in control of my sleep than any supplement.

Coming up to the weekend I am feeling positive.

Perriwinkles · 16/09/2021 21:35

I love hearing from those of you that are longterm sober. I’m honestly amazed at it because to me it’s all a novelty right now and I worry I’ll crumble once the novelty wears off. Ye are my heroes!

Day 26 ✔️

I ate a stupid amount of sugar today tbh so I’ve decided to allow this madness until the end of September & then I’ll make some changes to my diet …….which means not stashing jellies & chocolate all over the house & eating cake for shits n giggles.

Perriwinkles · 16/09/2021 21:36

@StopWineIng & @Kittenminion I am going to start on floradix too. Why not

Perriwinkles · 16/09/2021 21:37

Night all ye Sober superstars Flowers

StopWineIng · 16/09/2021 21:56

I just have to remember to take it twice a day now @Perriwinkles 🤣

Perriwinkles · 16/09/2021 22:07

@StopWineIng
Oh I know what you mean!!! Think of it as another AF alternative Grin

iamyourequal · 16/09/2021 22:56

Hi Bunnies! I’m good thanks. Plodding along as usual with work, kids etc. Are you still doing your running? What’s it like being AF now?
My near year of moderation wasn’t working out. Rationing out a measly 10 or 14 units a week became harder and harder. The mid-week glass or two crept in , then Thursday as it was almost the weekend etc. a couple on Sunday, to round off the weekend properly…I’m sure lots of folk know exactly what I mean!

We had a short uk family holiday in the summer where I had my DH drive to restaurants as I really couldn’t bear the thought of not having wine with dinner. Then back home I would have nights where I didn’t drink, but would have a wee sly one prepping dinner to calm my nerves. By then I knew I was back to square one. So here I am again. Day 16AF.

Newmum29 · 16/09/2021 23:15

Day 12 for me too. Feels nice to have other people on the same day. Weirdly feel like being AF has been much easier the last few days. Helps baby is feeling better but it’s a welcome relief from cravings.

Adm1010 · 17/09/2021 06:42

Checking in at the start of day 13 . I FINALLY feel better . The headache has gone , slept well last night, I’ve woken ready to face a busy work day with a good attitude .

I think I’ve had a 12 day hangover Shock

Have a great day everybody and thanks again for all the support on this thread , it’s helping me stay sober

Perriwinkles · 17/09/2021 06:49

Checking in on Day 27. I’m looking forward to a sober weekend.

I know exactly what you mean @iamyourequal I did all of those things you mentioned too when trying to moderate.

That’s great it’s getting easier @Newmum29 and @Adm1010 I definitely feel it’s becoming more of a habit not to drink even though I know I’m not out of the woods yet.

Have a lovely sober Friday you sober superstars. Star

Nosilayak · 17/09/2021 08:22

Just checking in, day 27 for me, @Perriwinckles can't believe we are well past the 21 target, proud of us both and everyone else on here. Another weekend looming which is my most testing time as I drank mainly at weekends. I've noticed a few threads relating to concern about drinking too much on mumsnet over the last few days. It shows you what a common problem it is, maybe people have turned to alcohol more during covid times through depression, boredom etc Anyway, good luck to everyone on here, reading all your posts gives me inspiration x

iamyourequal · 17/09/2021 08:25

Hi @Perriwinkles..re moderation, see also ‘I will only drink when out….on Saturday..beer only…organic cider only…mini bottles of wine….pre-mixed cans…..I could go on! Have a lovely Friday everyone. Glad the headaches are clearing!