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Alcohol support

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Freedom! An alcohol free thread, for alcohol free people.

999 replies

Drybird2020 · 16/08/2021 20:30

This is the latest in an established series of supportive and friendly threads, for anyone committing to a life without booze. If you have tried and failed to be a sensible, occasional or moderate drinker, and have come to the conclusion that you just can’t do it, you are in good company.

I won’t lie, the first part is tough. And it’s tougher for some than others. You will need to learn new ways of managing stress and negotiating social occasions. You will have to learn that alcohol and fun are not the same thing. Your relationships will change, often for the better, but some hard-drinking friends will turn away from the mirror your sobriety holds up to their own habits. You will find that the feelings you tried to drown in booze, come bubbling up to the surface and there’s no option but to face them. You will feel physically and emotionally low, as you relive and regret the stupid, painful and selfish things you did while drinking.

Here’s the good news: the first part will soon be over. It will be more worth it than you can possibly imagine. Life will still be messy, difficult and poignant, but so much sweeter, sharper, and more real.

This thread is a great place to ask for advice and tips, whinge and moan, check in for daily accountability, and run to when you have a craving that scares you. We also have quality chat about running, books, gardening, pets, and occasional meaningful conversations about our lives. Grin

As should be obvious from the above, the thread is a DRY ZONE. Discussion of current drinking is extremely unhelpful to anyone in the early days, and people who have been alcohol-free for a long time benefit from a safe, dry space to talk. If you are looking to stop imminently and need to ask questions, go ahead, but leave your glass at the door. You wouldn’t take a drink to an AA meeting, so don’t do it here. You are welcome to post regularly from Day 1 onwards. If you suspect you have a physical dependency and need to cut down, seek medical help. If you want to be alcohol free except for a glass at Christmas and on your birthday, that’s moderation and you can talk about it on a moderation thread.

This is a rather long OP already so might I suggest that people use their first post to recommend their favourite quit-lit or other sources of help and support? Don't forget to say hello and a little bit abut your journey (if you want to). Many thanks.

Brew Cake Flowers

OP posts:
StopWineIng · 07/09/2021 21:17

@SoberSept21 I had £40 so nice to have that back in my account. Hopefully they won’t keep emailing me about freebies and my favourite wines now 😩

Which podcast were you listening to? I need one for my walks. Although I didn’t walk anywhere today…too bloody hot! In bed already, had a chocolate bar after dinner as a treat but feel very tired and headachy so early night again.

I did feel like I had more energy toddy though and had a productive day!

SoberSept21 · 07/09/2021 21:23

@StopWineIng it was the Sober Club, Alcohol Free lives. It's very chatty which I enjoyed and there were some interesting interviews - from a tea enthusiast and a craft cider company who have a low alcohol range. It was something to have on in the background while I was sorting laundry, nothing too 'intense'.
I hope you enjoy it if you decide to give it a go

Newmum29 · 07/09/2021 23:35

Feeling a bit more positive today. Got my second vaccine and normally I’d have a wine as a reward after but instead I’m going to have a cinnamon bun from the bakery. Another reason I don’t lose weight when I go alcohol free; I just replace one form of sugar with another Blush

Newmum29 · 07/09/2021 23:40

For the I am sober app how do you actually calculate the savings / calories, I ticked the box but not sure how to input?

Newmum29 · 07/09/2021 23:48

Sorted it, can’t believe I’m going to be saving nearly 50 quid a week and 500 calories a day!

StarcourtMall · 08/09/2021 07:19

Morning all! The good news is my headache has gone (day 9 today). I think my anxiety is a bit less too. For some reason I don’t seem to have lost 2 stone yet though 😂

Had an after work party yesterday. I wouldn’t normally drink anyway as I would have to drive, but I quite enjoyed it which just reinforced that fun can be had in AF situations!

StopWineIng · 08/09/2021 07:26

@StarcourtMall that’s brilliant news. I’m permanently exhausted 🤣 doesn’t help the baby has forgotten how to sleep so keeps waking me up. The only good thing about that is whether I’m AF or not it keeps me away from wine when I know she will be up in the night!

ChampooPapi · 08/09/2021 08:27

Checking in 🙌

Nosilayak · 08/09/2021 11:35

Morning everyone, day 18 here. I'm glad to hear people's headaches are going, it must be such a big change to our poor bodies to go completely AF. I'm off to TESCO to do a big shop and intend to buy some nice AF drinks for the weekend. I bought Appletise last week but found it to be very sweet. Can anyone recommend anything good? I'm on a low acid diet at the moment so have to avoid anything orangey or lemony. I've heard people mentioning Fever Tree? Any recommendations gratefully received.

SoberSept21 · 08/09/2021 12:19

@Nosilayak I like ginger beer

Nosilayak · 08/09/2021 12:28

@SoberSept21 Thanks for that, I used to love ginger beer but not had it in years.

AlloftheTime · 08/09/2021 12:52

@Nosilayak

Morning everyone, day 18 here. I'm glad to hear people's headaches are going, it must be such a big change to our poor bodies to go completely AF. I'm off to TESCO to do a big shop and intend to buy some nice AF drinks for the weekend. I bought Appletise last week but found it to be very sweet. Can anyone recommend anything good? I'm on a low acid diet at the moment so have to avoid anything orangey or lemony. I've heard people mentioning Fever Tree? Any recommendations gratefully received.
Following for any good suggestions you get! I’ve tried Nozeco and found it quite palatable - it is very bubbly so might not suit your tum. Great to hear about everyone’s progress 👍
FieldGuide · 08/09/2021 13:02

@Nosilayak The Fever Tree Mediterranean tonic and elderflower tonic are lovely.

Nosilayak · 08/09/2021 13:07

Thanks, some good suggestions there. Most of the time I'm just drinking water but my worst alcohol drinking days were weekends, so I still want to feel as if I'm drinking something special, putting it in a wine glass, ice cubes etc. I'll give those a try and report back next week.

Perriwinkles · 08/09/2021 17:47

Checking in on Day 18. I’m still dropping a lot of sugar into me! So I’ve decided to give myself until Day 30 and then I’m going to make some changes - not completely give up sugar but cut out a lot of crap I’m eating at the moment.

Perriwinkles · 08/09/2021 17:51

@Nosilayak
I love non-alcoholic beers. There are so many different ones now and I find beer nice and filling.

I also buy lots of fancy expensive cordials and combine them with ice, sparkling water and lemon, lime or strawberries.

Congrats on Day 18. We’re getting very close to our Day 21 new habit celebration! GrinStar

Nosilayak · 08/09/2021 18:16

@Perriwinckles Congrats to you too on Day 18! Yes, that 21 day target is now well within our grasp. I hope work has been better today and that you are feeling happier. Those drinks you make with all the fruit in sound amazing and I've never actually tried AF beer before, any brand or you particularly recommend? Good idea about giving yourself a bit more time before you start getting stricter on what you eat. I'm in hospital having tests on Friday and normally I'd console myself by having a drink on Friday night but there's a really nice Chippy near the hospital, so I'm treating myself to fish and chips - we have to take our pleasures wherever we can find them at the moment don't we!

StopWineIng · 08/09/2021 18:54

@Perriwinkles day 5 here and also overdoing it on the sugar! I’ve had coke every day and haribo 😩 I’m going to get through this weekend then attempt to reign it in as I have baby weight to shift!!

Adm1010 · 08/09/2021 18:56

Evening , just checking in on day 4

Sober . Very headachy but sober

Thanks for all the inspiring words

StarcourtMall · 08/09/2021 19:02

I had a very upset teenager tonight (being a bit over dramatic to be honest) and previously I would have found that really hard to deal with, either getting angry or leaving me feeling stressed and anxious. Today I listened to her calmly and managed to cheer her up a bit.
I definitely feel like things are changing for the better.

Perriwinkles · 08/09/2021 19:55

@Nosilayak

The very best of luck with your tests on Friday. Mmmm…fish & chips are a yummy Friday treat! We certainly do need to treat ourselves as this is (hopefully) the most difficult stage.

Perriwinkles · 08/09/2021 19:56

@Nosilayak

Oh as for AF brands, I like weihenstafaner (sp?) for a rich taste and Erdinger for a lighter taste.

Perriwinkles · 08/09/2021 19:58

@StopWineIng
Oh Haribo I hear you! Suddenly I love jellies!!

Stay strong @Adm1010 ‘This too shall pass.’

@StarcourtMall
That’s actually amazing! I haven’t noticed improvement in mood yet as I’m so tired but what a great change to note.

imamearcat · 08/09/2021 20:07

Hi everyone, I would like to join.

Just day 3 for me. I have drank far too much for a very long time. All my family and friends do too. One of my close friends has completely fallen apart from alcohol addiction, it's torn her family apart, all she can do is drink and smoke and it's all she cares about. She's completely abandoned her child. It's just heartbreaking.

Kind of traumatised me and all I can think now is how I don't want to end up like that! I don't want my children to think it's 'normal'. So many negatives and not really any positives!?

Anyway I just wondered how to help keep the mindset? How do you keep going?

StopWineIng · 08/09/2021 20:12

Welcome @imamearcat !

This thread is a really good place to start. I’ve found it so supportive and it’s nice to be able to ‘check in’..

Still early days for me but I just need to keep reminding myself how grumpy, irritable, tired and bloated I am the day after I drink. I have much less patience and that’s not good with young children. So I’m doing it for them x