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Alcohol support

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Freedom! An alcohol free thread, for alcohol free people.

999 replies

Drybird2020 · 16/08/2021 20:30

This is the latest in an established series of supportive and friendly threads, for anyone committing to a life without booze. If you have tried and failed to be a sensible, occasional or moderate drinker, and have come to the conclusion that you just can’t do it, you are in good company.

I won’t lie, the first part is tough. And it’s tougher for some than others. You will need to learn new ways of managing stress and negotiating social occasions. You will have to learn that alcohol and fun are not the same thing. Your relationships will change, often for the better, but some hard-drinking friends will turn away from the mirror your sobriety holds up to their own habits. You will find that the feelings you tried to drown in booze, come bubbling up to the surface and there’s no option but to face them. You will feel physically and emotionally low, as you relive and regret the stupid, painful and selfish things you did while drinking.

Here’s the good news: the first part will soon be over. It will be more worth it than you can possibly imagine. Life will still be messy, difficult and poignant, but so much sweeter, sharper, and more real.

This thread is a great place to ask for advice and tips, whinge and moan, check in for daily accountability, and run to when you have a craving that scares you. We also have quality chat about running, books, gardening, pets, and occasional meaningful conversations about our lives. Grin

As should be obvious from the above, the thread is a DRY ZONE. Discussion of current drinking is extremely unhelpful to anyone in the early days, and people who have been alcohol-free for a long time benefit from a safe, dry space to talk. If you are looking to stop imminently and need to ask questions, go ahead, but leave your glass at the door. You wouldn’t take a drink to an AA meeting, so don’t do it here. You are welcome to post regularly from Day 1 onwards. If you suspect you have a physical dependency and need to cut down, seek medical help. If you want to be alcohol free except for a glass at Christmas and on your birthday, that’s moderation and you can talk about it on a moderation thread.

This is a rather long OP already so might I suggest that people use their first post to recommend their favourite quit-lit or other sources of help and support? Don't forget to say hello and a little bit abut your journey (if you want to). Many thanks.

Brew Cake Flowers

OP posts:
Usernameucreate · 06/09/2021 18:40

@AlloftheTime
I will have done 6 weeks on Thursday. I did 6 weeks off last year so it is my record so far. Smile

Perriwinkles · 06/09/2021 18:41

@Nosilayak & @Kittenminion

Thank you both so much for your messages. It helps so so much. It’s true that I shouldn’t let the boss affect me to the point that I’d drink. It’s such a shame - if only people knew the effect unkindness has on others. I find work can be stressful because of all the game playing etc. After they bit the head off me, they went out of their way to be nice to others. Such games & I felt so belittled. I still feel like crap& wish I didn’t. But I did load up on treats in the shop just now & I’m sitting in the car munching! Riding it out is right …

I am planning to tackle my diet in due course but I agree - it’s too much right now. In The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober, she says that there’s so much sugar in alcohol that eating lots of sugar when first abstaining is fairly normal.

Thanks again Flowers

Nosilayak · 06/09/2021 19:33

@Perriwinckles, you are NOT crap and please don't let them belittle you. You are doing what not many people could do or even attempt to do, you are bravely getting rid of something that has been a crutch to you for so long and they have no idea what struggles you are currently going through. I've never met you but from getting to know you in a short time on here, you are a kind, supportive, strong person. Let them play their silly little power games and rise above it. Inside, you should feel very proud of yourself and know that we are all here for you x

Perriwinkles · 06/09/2021 19:47

Thanks @Nosilayak I appreciate that so much. You’re actually bringing tears to my eyes. My mother told me once that alcoholics (she came from a family of alcoholics) feel deeply and that is why they need to drink: to cope with the strong emotions. It’s interesting really because maybe it’s true. I’m not saying I or any of us are ‘alcoholics’ but I think it can apply to dependence/inability to moderate etc. Maybe!

I suppose regardless of anything else that is happening in life, cutting out alcohol will always be a win for us…& a consolation too. StarFlowersStar

ChampooPapi · 06/09/2021 19:52

Early night here, everyone has this late summer cold going round, including me. Hope it avoids the rest of you 🤞

Clouds78 · 06/09/2021 20:17

Just checking in. I’m so impressed at everyone’s efforts. Newbies - you’ve got this!

@Kittenminion yes that’s totally it isn’t it - we are labelled the ones with a problem yet are clearly the ones addressing it. I can just imagine a certain family member, who drinks like a total fish, making a big deal of my decision - yawn!

@Perriwinkles your boss sounds horrid. You sound lovely. Keep going with no alcohol. You’re doing amazingly x

whatever47 · 06/09/2021 20:29

Just checking in, day 12.
Still sooooo tired, I'm off to bed.
Does the tiredness get better? X

Perriwinkles · 06/09/2021 20:32

Thanks @Clouds78 I’ve been the most tempted I’ve been so far & still feeling really down but I’m holding strong (my stomach bursting with pasta & jammie dodgers helps Grin). I agree with you and @Kittenminion that we are addressing it. I don’t think I was ready to really address it before now as it’s just so normalised.

Perriwinkles · 06/09/2021 20:33

@whatever47
I think the tiredness slowly improves. I still feel tired but I don’t feel as shattered as I did last Monday.

StarcourtMall · 06/09/2021 21:10

Feeling really rotten tonight and I’m not sure if it’s my body detoxing or the effects of the HRT, but either way I’m too headachy and nauseous to even think about drinking, so that’s day 7 done and an early night for me.

whatever47 · 06/09/2021 21:16

Thanks @Perriwinkles - really appreciate that, I can't wait for it to get better. I can only think my poor old body is adjusting to the new normal of no booze!
You're doing amazingly well, it's hard enough without work stress too x

AlloftheTime · 06/09/2021 22:25

[quote Usernameucreate]@AlloftheTime
I will have done 6 weeks on Thursday. I did 6 weeks off last year so it is my record so far. Smile[/quote]
You are doing well username!
@ChampooPapi - good idea for an early night hope you feel better in the morning.
Keep keeping on folks 😊
Sorry to hear about challenges people are facing at work and with health issues also those feeling fatigued. Look after yourselves and stay safe.

StopWineIng · 07/09/2021 00:33

Checking in day 3. Been mega busy and had an early night tonight but baby had other ideas and woke me up for a feed 💤

First goal is to get through the whole of this weekend coming AF. Think the weekdays will be easier for me.

Newmum29 · 07/09/2021 06:41

Woke up to a terrible headache which feels extra mean when you’ve had nothing to drink. Reminds me of dry Jan when everyone used to say but don’t you feel better and I thought “no, not really”.

Hepzibar · 07/09/2021 06:51

@Newmum29 I woke with a headache everyday for about 2 months, I cant pinpoint when they eventually went because they gradually faded. I was really miffed too - it was like waking with a hangover, but it cleared very quickly and I didn't spend the day feeling crap.

Hepzibar · 07/09/2021 07:07

My DH works in addiction rehab and has some clients that have given good feedback on this app. I thought it might help some posters in early steps get through the evenings

clearmindshypnotherapy.com/products/takecontrol?fbclid=IwAR34kI1vCC0exXi4MH3hyWPeZiVc7FUc_q-C83G60YvOjXYXKpEX7r6mdrc

StopWineIng · 07/09/2021 08:19

Thanks for sharing @Hepzibar I’ll have a look later.

Just downloaded the ‘I am Sober’ app app cancelled my Naked Wines subscription and had all funds returned to my bank account rather than ordering a lot of discounted wine! Big step for me!

BunniesBunniesBunnies · 07/09/2021 12:31

For newbies feeling like shite: I felt awful for a week or two after I quit, really knackered and low energy (though this was early pandemic/homeschooling so I was already feeling dreadful!). I felt miffed as I had expected to feel instantly awesome😂😂😂 but I stuck with it and I’m so glad I did! I now have so much more energy, sleep better and rarely get headaches. Our bodies do need to adjust to begin with so take it easy.

Perriwinkles · 07/09/2021 16:01

Thanks for that link @Hepzibar Those headaches sounded horrendous! I have been very tired but haven’t had many headaches thankfully.

Well done @StopWineIng someone upthread said they signed up for a chocolate subscription instead. You could do that…or a beauty or literary one.

Perriwinkles · 07/09/2021 16:03

@BunniesBunniesBunnies
Thanks. That’s reassuring. My sugar cravings are intense! Grin I just had half a large bag of jelly babies & a bar of chocolate. Earlier on I had a pastry … as well as meals and it’s only 4 o’clock! Jesus wept! I know I’ll cut the sugar out downstream though & it’s great to hear you feel so great. It makes it all feel worth it.

deathbyprocrastination · 07/09/2021 18:34

Hello, just checking in on day 38. Good to read everyone's updates. Feel absolutely exhausted this evening for some reason, probably just getting back into the school / work routine but anyway, thought it would do me good to post on here for accountability reasons. Have more or less told DH who seems to be on side with me giving up, so that's a really helpful development. Overall though, still feel I'm winging it a bit and could do with more support in real life. Interested to know if others are doing anything other than posting here i.e. going to any kind of recovery meetings online or in person?

Usernameucreate · 07/09/2021 19:52

@StopWineIng
Well done on stopping the wine subscription. Smile
@deathbyprocrastination
Like you, I have a supportive partner, but no other helpers in my sober journey. I have PMDD & was feeling awful this evening. I wanted to drink wine to escape my horrible angry feelings but my partner encouraged me not to drink. Smile

StopWineIng · 07/09/2021 19:57

Headaches in full swing today. On my 3rd litre of water though so hopefully just my body detoxing! Loving the ‘I am sober’ app and think seeing the saved money and calories will really help me.

This weekend will be a challenge, we are away for the weekend and the nights are very ‘social’ aka alcohol induced. I think I am going to aim for one night out (AF) of course and stay in one night. I think trying to survive 2 out AF will be hard work at this stage. Feeling much much more motivated ❤️

whatever47 · 07/09/2021 20:42

@BunniesBunniesBunnies thanks so much for posting with that, it helps to hear that from people so much further down the line - I do, infact feel like shite Confused but expected to feel amazing straight away lol.
Day 13 here, still hanging on hoping for more energetic days. Keep strong everyone x

SoberSept21 · 07/09/2021 21:11

Hi all,
I've been lurking for a while knowing that I had to do something but read Allen Carr's book on Sunday and was compelled to just call it a day there and then so...today is end of day 2. Thanks for all of your suggestions/tips already. I have downloaded the app and have set up a separate bank account where I am going to put what I would have spent on booze, I was listening to a podcast earlier and a lady who did that has just bought a camper van Shock
Right now I feel positive and when I had the urge to open a bottle earlier (I am on leave from work so would usually have at least a couple of drinks with dinner) I convinced myself that it was my 'Little Monster' shouting and felt great not responding to it.
Thanks to the poster who mentioned Naked Wines, think I've got £60 tucked away in that subscription and didn't realise that I could get a refund.
Looking forward to getting to know you all.