Mindfulness, Moderating and Not Texting In The Kitchen !

[Amdone123]

Morning all..hope you're all ok. Well I had busy weekend. I didn't quite stick to my plans : I drank Friday evening ( didn't eat), and drank last night, too. I don't feel great today but I am looking forward to having a break. I know I want to get back to being af and all its benefits.
I was thinking that I am able to stay in and not drink. My next step will be going out and not going mad !

Just came back from a conference quite far away so had to drive but took a lot of colleagues and they were squealing with laughter the whole journey there and back because that's my thing I make people laugh but I don't need drink!!!! I was thinking about it and they're all like you so funny and a colleague and I started off AF sometime ago and I think that's when I did my longest stint and he carried on as is now 4 years sober! Amazing and he's much younger than me lol so I'm getting all that positive vibes tonight etc and I feel on top of the world and have not had a drink! Very well done to @Hohofortherobbers and @Mj20 and I hope you had a fab break @Amdone123 and thanks for your words of support as usual!

@Soberjan , you're going great guns, keep going. And laughing!
Hope everyone else is OK. I obviously drank Saturday but didn't on Sunday, yesterday and not today - it's not bothering me much. Wednesdays are quite tricky though, so I'll be on my guard tomorrow.
Surprisingly, I lost a pound this week ( I thought I'd have put on, because I did drink 2 days). Slow n steady winning the race here.

Hi can I join please ??

Hi @indieray of course welcome! The usual crowd are so supportive and amazing ! What are you goals with drinking ? X

Hi @indieray, welcome and thank you for joining us. Good day here, still dry, gym session, just read to my dd for an hour at bedtime, wouldn't have done that if I was heading back to my vino!! I am a better mum when I don't drink. I need to remind myself that more.

Thankyou both @Hohofortherobbers @Soberjan for the warm welcome 🙏🏻
I am currently off work due to depression n stress after having 3 miscarriages in a row last one being last year. I'm hoping to try again in a few months but due to maybe escapism n boredom I am drinking 4/5 out of 7 days a week! Mainly wine & vodka. I am tired fat and miserable and just can't continue this way !
What are your reasons for drinking?
I want to drink no more than 1-2 bottles a week! I wish I was one of these people who could take it or leave it ! I am thinking of joining the gym to help give me a kick in the right direction! Has anyone got any advice on cutting back ? As I don't want to completely give up !
Thanks so much xx

I'm sorry to hear you've had such a difficult time . I find it's difficult to cut back, I am quite a habitual person so my 2 x 250ml glasses of wine became my daily habit and almost impossible to limit to one glass, which I would find acceptable. What helps me is a reset, a set time off which is alcohol free. Do you think you could face that?

Thankyou @Hohofortherobbers do you mean a set time off alcohol completely ?
Yes I could manage that. It would be hard as I use alcohol for lots of things! Have you managed it and for how long ? Thanks

Morning all and a warm welcome to @indieray . Sorry to hear you've been through such a horrible time. Your drinking sounds a lot like mine was like - escapism ( work / stress related) and definitely boredom. It sounds to me that, like me, you were on that treadmill and just couldn't get off.
The 1st thing I did was sign up to the Annie Grace 30 day alcohol experiment. If you Google it, you can start today or whenever is best for you. Its free.I did really well on that. I lost weight and got a proper spring in my step !
I haven't given up completely ( hence my presence here, but I'm in a much better place).
Other things that have helped / help ;
Club soda, Soberistas, journalling and of course, here. Being on this thread is great because you can be honest, there's no judgement - we're all actually very similar.
Keep posting and we'll help you ❤️

@indieray , hi again. I was just thinking about maybe stocking up on some af drinks ? I don't really like af wine ( I don't think anyone does !), but af beer is good. I'd rather drink sparkling water / lemon and the odd diet coke or Pepsi max.
Also, some snacks - I know you're wanting to lose weight ( and you will ), but I limit myself to 300 cals of treats ( so, a packet of square crisps, a kit kat, etc), as otherwise I'll eat a family sized bar of chocolate and I don't really want to do that.
I also have a lot of baths, and get into the habit of face masks, creams, etc. It makes me feel so much better and of course, when I'm not drinking, I don't look / feel hungover, I look good - also better sleep is a no brainer ❤️
Hallo to everyone else !
I'm doing well here, even if my sleep pattern is reversed ( thanks Australian open !). I'm on day 15, I'm pleased with that. Lots of energy, positive attitude, too.

Hi @inindieray , I'm currently doing dry January, so 18 days dry, aiming for at least the 31 days, hopefully longer, (to justify my new pretty ring I bought to treat myself I need to do 5 weeks in total). How do you find drinking affects you? Are you sleeping well? How is your mood and energy levels. I find it helpful to focus on how being AF improves my wellbeing. I gave the try dry app which logs my dry days and how I feel

Hi all, @Hohofortherobbers 100% better parent when I don't drink, I actually take a bit more care etc because I'm not looking for that glass! Well done you you've done amazing.
@indieray I'm so sorry to hear about your losses it must be so traumatic and I do not blame your escapism but the fact you only drink 4 to 5 days out of 7 already says a lot that you can actually leave it the other 2 3 days whereas I haven't been able to prior to 'dry jan' so you are doing really well . I don't think I had one day off for the last 6 months or so. My longest stint was nearly 1 year and I had one of those memories of photos and I looked bloody good and thinner! I am so determined to lose weight too and alcohol clearly is the main belly fat carrier! I haven't had any today because I was so upset with myself (some disappointing news) and had such a wretched day at work there was steam blowing out of my ears but I started reading some stuff about how alcohol affects the brain and all sorts so today I thought no don't want it thank you very much! And yes feel more present and able to actually deal with other stresses better. Funny how we think the booze helps out the stress emotion but actually makes it worse in the long run. I have made a decision today that I don't want to drink for the foreseeable my main motivation will be the weight I think and sometimes esp for me I feel like it's more head f*#£ when I try and limit myself and then I go back to my ways so I am going to try my best. @Amdone123 great recce on the AF booze and no noone likes AF wine it's gross !! I like AF beers too and I might a mocktail on Saturday night when I'm out...I don't know but I just don't want to do it anymore. I told DH (who was in a massive mood all day) that I might drive Saturday and it's the first time we've been out as a couple in months and he said oh but they do nice drinks at this bar! Haha I don't know I don't want to succumb then I think I've also got other drinks the following Friday too ...arghhjhj as I said mind f! Hope everyone is ok @Mj20 hope you are doing well and @TripleTipplePipple great bunch of people we have here xxx

We posted at similar times @Hohofortherobbers mine was just a long ass rant sorry !!!!

Hi all, hope it's okay I post again, I've been missing for a while, I tried dry jan unsuccessfully!! I did last night AF but again drank tonite, started Annie grace 30 day! Just can't seem to get a few days ahead! House is mayhem and just that time of the evening , I just can't seem to help myself ! I tell myself all day I won't and I'm in a good mind frame until 5pm!! Any way of getting past this? Wel done to everyone, ye sound like yer fine amazing x

*doing amazing I meant x

Welcome @stoppingnow . Great to have you with us. Do you keep alcohol in the house or are you nipping out at 5pm to get something? I wouldn't be able to stay AF if there was a bottle red here, but I happily ignore any other drinks so I make sure there's no red. Other than that, I don't shop late, only go in the morning when I'm feeling my strongest, I'd struggle to pick up bread, milk and no wine if I went at 6pm. The craving around teatime passes in about an hour for me, its helpful to have a variety of soft drinks in. AF beer is a good treat on a weekend. I really like Robinsons cordials with sparkling water every other night and herbal teas.

Hi @stoppingnow I feel you!!! When the house is crazy you just think f it I'll drink. It's a hard space at that moment in time and drink we think anyway makes it all better . I'm in the same boat as you but taking 1 day at a time. It doesn't help as @Hohofortherobbers if there is booze in the house my H has a whole wine fridge and I actually hid an empty bottle the other day ashamed to say as didn't want the judgement. But then something clicked yesterday after reading some quit lit literally just a magazine article on how it effects the brain. I work in a supermarket too so even worse sometimes as I'm literally next to the booze aisle!! But there are some great alternatives or low alcohol too if you feel that might be better are you a bottle of wine drinker too? X

Morning all!!!
sorry I’ve been quite this week! My extended family have been driving my crazy 🤣🙄 but prior to that I’ve been feeling great, really energised and positive!!!!!

great catching up on everything!!!! Welcome @indieray I was very sorry to hear the difficult time you’ve had and like many of us here it sounds like alcohol has become a vice/habit! You’ll get lots of support here!!! And no judgement! So hopefully it will help!
@Soberjan i really smiled reading your post about making people laugh and not needing alchol…. Then reading you had a rubbish day and Diddnt pick up the wine!!!! You’re doing amazing!!!! I think I’m like you actually and the idea of weight loss is helping motivate me!!!
how are you @Hohofortherobbers sounds like your still doing well!!! Good for you! And I hope you’re ok @Amdone123! Also how are you @TripleTipplePipple and welcome back @stoppingnow!!!! we are growing!!!!

so I’m still AF…. Day 20!!!!!! Bday weekend and I’m staying strong! I got bought a lovely bottle of wine as a gift but I’ve decided to defo do dry jan and then make a decision moving forward! But I’m loving the benefits of alchol free!!! Xxxx

Morning all, sorry I've been MIA. It's been a bit of a stressful week! I'll be glad when today is over... I dont work fridays so roll on 5pm. I was booked in for a 90 minute hot stone massage tomorrow morning but have had to cancel as we all seem to be coming down with lurgy. I'm gutted. I booked it back in december and have been so looking forward to it 😫

So, we had a bottle of red last Friday and then a low alcohol bottle on the saturday. Nothing since and I haven't been remotely bothered this week, it's not even crossed my mind to be honest. I haven't slept well the last couple of nights but I think that's just stress. Overall I feel better, only 2 nights drinking in three weeks is something I didnt think I would ever achieve to be honest!

Welcome newbies! @indieray I'm so sorry to hear of everything you've been through, it's a very hard journey. We struggled for years to get pregnant and I lost an IVF baby, it's really hard.

Alcohol was definitely ramped up in lockdown with me. I drank out of bordum which then became habit. I'm crossing everything that I'm breaking that habit.

Hello to everyone else! Sorry I'm not keeping up, I'm hoping next week will be a bit less manic!

Morning, all. You all sound like you're doing great.
Don't worry if you only post every now and again ; we're all still here, that's what matters.
Hi @stoppingnow , I agree with others who say, don't have it in : I don't buy it when I'm out. Once I'm home, all showered and cosy, I won't go out for it. Felt tempted yesterday after work - I knew I would, and did think of leaving my purse at home, but in the end, I just accepted that I fancied a glass, but was going to ignore it. I knew I was hungry, too.
@TripleTipplePipple , 2 nights in 3 weeks is brilliant. 👏 @Mj20 , you're doing great on day 20 - seems like you've turned a corner in your thinking, which is brilliant. @Soberjan , one day at a time is definitely the best approach - just for today, I won't drink.

Thanks so much for the replies @Hohofortherobbers I don't keep it in the house but just keep nipping out at 5pm saying F it il start tomorrow! Good tips about not shopping late , we always end up going in for stuff for lunches the following day so I should be more organised and go earlier in the day! @Soberjan yup , a bottle a night and can't seem to break the habit! If I do an odd night without (which is hardly ever) I wake up so happy and think Im going to do so well and by 5 o clock , it's a slippery slope! Well done @Mj20 your doing amazing . @TripleTipplePipple that's great 2 nights in 3 weeks . Thanks for the tips @Amdone123 and well done .

@stoppingnow , how have you got on this evening? Hope you're ok, whatever youve decided to do.
I've been watching tennis since about 1am !! A few naps in between but basically all day.
I was thinking before that I usually drink when I'm watching tennis, especially if Murray is playing. It didn't occur to me to go out and get any.
And I still had a brilliant day ( the Wins helped), but drinking wouldn't have made it better. In fact, it would have got in the way because I would have wanted to smoke and to do that, I go in the kitchen.
Small wins for me.....and a big one for Andy ❤️

Hi, may I join you please?
I enjoy being '2 glasses in', but find moderating after that point tricky unless I have incentive to stop, such as work next morning.

Have always drunk moderately but it crept up when I was on my own during lockdown.

Couple of weeks ago, I noticed my eyes were a bit bloodshot, and managed to convince myself that they were yellow, scared myself s*!tless! (They were just bloodshot.)

Been 9 days af now, which is 2 days over what I promised myself. It's being surprisingly easy, but I'm hungry all the time!

Have been telling friends either that I'm doing dry January, or the ones more likely to make a fuss, that alcohol has been triggering migraines so I'm taking it easy.

Would like to get back to pre-pandemic levels of drinking when I start again, or below - like somebody said upthread, to 2-3 bottles of wine a week. (Over gov limits I know, but I had a thorough MOT including scans a few years ago, and everything was in good order then despite drinking this amount for over 3 decades!)

I'd also like to drink more mindfully and enjoy it, rather than use it as a social crutch.

So...hi. (Waves). Tea?

Hi and welcome @chatelai , of course you can join.
Well done on the 9 days af ; that's really good. I know what you mean about the hunger. It's the sugar you're missing I think.
And at least you can stop after 2 glasses, that's great, too.
Do you want to just drink at weekend ?

Just catching up again @Amdone123 thanks for checking, I had 2 glasses last night as we went for dinner but did not stop on the way home! But again bought a bottle during the day today as knew I had a stressful evening ahead. Work deadline and DS was poorly so I just stress so much and think this will help, I know that's so untrue!! I have such health anxiety and worry about every little sickness with myself and kids, it's something I would love to be able to snap out of! I know that would probably improve if I could just stay away from wine for a while! It's a viscous circle! Hope yer all doing okay!