Mindfulness, Moderating and Not Texting In The Kitchen !

[Amdone123]

Morning all..hope you're all ok. Well I had busy weekend. I didn't quite stick to my plans : I drank Friday evening ( didn't eat), and drank last night, too. I don't feel great today but I am looking forward to having a break. I know I want to get back to being af and all its benefits.
I was thinking that I am able to stay in and not drink. My next step will be going out and not going mad !

@brightspice , yes, thinking about it, I enjoy lots of meals without a drink so that makes sense. In fact, brunch is my favourite meal of the day, and I'm not drinking at 11.30am 🤣
Also, I like the idea of not drinking in response to emotions. If I'm upset, I don't drink - never have done. I guess it's all down to habit because boredom, feeling happy / content - these emotions can lead to drinking .
Thanks, again.

Hi there, thanks for the link @brightspice, I scored 8-10, depending on how I answered the question regarding prioritising food over alcohol, if I wasn't cooking for the family I'd probably eat toast and drink wine. But I don't think that's prioritising wine, just being lazy! I cook for the family so meals are planned and at set times, I wouldn't get the chance to prioritise drinking over eating.
Good day here, early to bed last night and a good night's sleep. Hope you're OK @mj20 after your disturbed night, I'm sure it was all the better for being sober, tired and hungover is always worse. So Friday night is looming folks. Who's planning on it being AF? Raise your Mugs

That was a mug emoji when I posted, not flowers....

Planning to be AF here again this weekend. I am SO hungry at the moment. Think its hormonal though and itll pass but honestly I'm eating constantly this last few days......

Morning all!
Happy Friday!!!! Just catching up on the thread!

Thanks for asking how I am @Hohofortherobbers after the sleepless night! Bizarrely…. I was really energised and felt fine!!!!! And yes better tired than hungover! 🤣

Interesting thoughts @brightspice! I took the quiz and scored 6! With the questions set to detect alcoholism I was pleased to get a low score but tbh I never worry about that aspect of alchol, for me it’s more that drinking really affects my mental health so I’m anxious and panicky the next day. So usually when I’ve over done it it’s not that I’m horrendously drunk it’s that the day after I go through hell mentally. @Amdone123 and @Hohofortherobbers and @Buntyforgirls may remember my hangxiety posts back in the day!

I think I’m very much like @Amdone123 and drink to celebrate and enjoy the finer things 🤣 I drink when I’m happy, I drink because im out for a nice dinner etc. and I’m confident I could engage in those activities minus the booze but I like it (until I over do it and get anxious)!

Anyway I’m rambling!!! @TripleTipplePipple and @Hohofortherobbers im with you on the AF weekend….. 14 days alchol free here! Seems longer 🤣

@Amdone123 are you away on your walking weekend this weekend did you say? If so enjoy!
and @Soberjan how are you getting on!? I hope you’re ok! Your alchol free days are really adding up, good on you!!!your doing great! I hope the kids are giving you a bit of peace- can be so tricky navigating parenting! I was thinking regarding your son and have school said how he is there? Just wondering if they could offer some support or advice in managing the outbursts. Xx

think thats everything for now!!!!
have a great day xxxx

Great tips @brightspice ! If someone told me I could never drink again I wouldn't mind but I start thinking way ahead about occasions that people celebrate like even big birthdays etc...and you ask can we do things like meals out and girls nights out etc without alcohol and the times I have done that I've got bored and want to leave early so I feel I don't have fun if that makes sense? The emotion thing makes 100 per cent my triggers are stress which makes me want to reach and boredom is that an emotion. I could be getting on with a million other things to receive boredom but I reach for the wine. Even after I had a conversation with a random person about how they don't drink they don't like the taste of wine etc I was like yay I'm all geared up for not drinking last night and then I did. After a few glasses I didn't want anymore but because I was on my own (kids their own devices ) I just carried on thinking no point leaving a glass. It's weird. AF stuff just doesn't do it for me feel like I'm drinking empty calories without even it being alcohol!

Sorry just realised there was another page of your guys responses!
Hi @Mj20 thank you so much for thinking of me ! And as above I succumbed last night FFS!!! But regarding my son since nursery I've been telling and asking them for help but because he's so good at school etc they don't do anything ! I've cried to the teachers ! But then I met a SEN child in yesterday and her behaviour was completely different to my son's so I don't think he's got what I thought he had which then prevents me from going through the doc. There was a point I looked into private counselling but never got back to the initial enquires etc anyway I'm trying ! I don't want to drink today ! Or this weekend ! But DH will! So it'll be hard. You are doing amazing and @Hohofortherobbers and @TripleTipplePipple I'm in awe. I'm also weirdly hungry ALL the time every 30 mins maybe hormones too for me! Hope your walking holiday goes ok @Amdone123 and you enjoy yourself !!!

@Soberjan for years I felt like there was something going on with my son… he’s a lovely boy, bright, funny but very forgetful, disorganised, and easily distracted!
it presented lots of challenges over the years and then not so long ago he was diagnosed through school as being SEN. It’s mild but it’s allowed us to change our approach with him! And just understand him better! So if you think there may be anything I’d approach school or the doctor!!! And having looked into this there are so many different things and individuals all present differently! My son is super social and articulate as well as having good grades which is kind of how it flew under the radar for so long. Anyway if you want to private message and chat feel free to do so! And don’t be hard on yourself for a drink last night! Xxx

@Soberjan as you drink through boredom (and I totally get this as it used to be a huge 'reason' for me), ask yourself: what's so wrong with feeling a bit bored? Or even a lot bored? Really understand what that means for you. There's no right answer, but just make sure you like what you come up with. Because THAT is the reason you drink when bored. Boredom itself is just an emotion. It has no power until you decide to respond to it. (I have a client right now who loathed boredom, always drank when bored. I set her a challenge to be bored, to seek boredom out. She pushed back, didn't want to do it. And when she finally did go for it and moved towards boredom? Well that's when it changed for her. After a few other things we worked on she no longer drinks when bored and doesn't even mind being bored!) This is possible for you too but you start by believing this can be so.

How's your evening going? I'm home and dry, heading to bed shortly, just got in from an am dram performance which was really good. My friend had a glass of red which I held as she took her coat off, it smelt divine BUT it was in a plastic cup which I cannot stand and would have ruined it for me. I saw a ring today that I might buy, it equals approx 5 weeks of wine, do am thinking it will be my dry January treat to myself and I'll have to extend my drought til a week into Feb to justify it.

hi all!
map sober Friday night complete here!
I feel bloody great! Slept deeply and feel full of energy! Starting to see the benefits now!

how is everyone else going!?
@Hohofortherobbers great idea about the dry Jan treat!!!!!! That will defo help motivate!

xxx

Morning all. @Hohofortherobbers , you're doing so well. I'm the same with wine in a cup. Absolute travesty. I refuse to accept it 🤣. Yay @Mj20 , that's brilliant. It's great to wake up feeling refreshed. You, too, are doing really well. Keep reaping those benefits.
I feel like I've done 3 rounds with Mike Tyson. Its my own fault - I was up watching tennis ( I didn't drink. I wanted to earlier on in the day as I was bored....but I decided to embrace the boredom and I was fine. Thanks @brightspice ).
I'll have to get used to feeling like this though as the Australian open starts Monday, and my days and nights will reverse !
Off to Wales shortly. Looking forward to the hike and not particularly wanting a drink. Though it is only 10am.
Have a great day, everyone.

For the second Saturday I have woken with a banging headache, it's not fair! I feel like I've had a whole bottle of wine. Is this withdrawal? Just on Saturdays?

Morning all, wow @Amdone123 well done for 'sitting' with the boredom! Hope you enjoy Wales immensely is that not that far for you? I've never been ! We were thinking about bluestone Wales for ages but kids have grown up lol it's quite expensive too. I drank yesterday unfortunately but am planning to until Sunday I don't want to pretend and be honest. @Hohofortherobbers so sorry you have a banging headache!! Is it only on Saturdays it happens ? I was going to say the virus going around gives serious headaches for long xx

@Soberjan , it's about 2.5 hours. Just arrived at the cottage. Sun's out, then rain, etc. Typical Wales.

It's so cool you and your DH do things like this though last minute etc it's great! @Amdone123 are you planning on drinking ? I am actually looking into something to go on my own whether it's abroad or a retreat anything!

Hi, have bought my ring, I'll post the pic from their website below, what do you think...

Oh that's a lovely ring @Hohofortherobbers !

I've sort of lost track of where everyone is sorry, I will try and catch up tomorrow! We had a bottle of red last night and have had a low alcohol rose this evening. I really enjoyed the red but unusually for me two medium glasses was enough and DH had the rest. I opened it at 8pm ok have with our steak and enjoyed it but no compulsion to have more tonight, weve got Nozecco in again. Unheard of for me so I'm chuffed!

The ring is so nice @Hohofortherobbers ! Well done for treating yourself for your bloody hard work!!! It's really beautiful beautiful colour of the stone one of my fave! I used to go a day and be like yep I deserve a treat...I am feeling all kinds of stress recently I'm thinking maybe I should find a counsellor. I ended up doing that quiz and I'm 14 moderate dependence.
@TripleTipplePipple well done !!! I stupidly started drinking at lunch one small glass which then compelled me to open a bottle at home, then DH opened another bottle ..I then didn't want to drink anymore but dH opened another one and poured me a glass I said I didn't want it but he started getting annoyed saying why didn't I say blha blah so I had it. When I didn't want it. Absolutely mind boggling

Morning all!!!
@Amdone123 hope you and hubby are enjoying the walking! And @Hohofortherobbers i LOVE the ring! What a gorgeous treat to yourself!!!!! @TripleTipplePipple sorry your feeling stressed out and sorry you feel DH is being unsupportive on the drinking situation. I think sometimes our reluctance can highlight things in other people and him feeling annoyed at you about not wanting another drink actually is more about him! Hope that waffle makes sense and I hope you’re ok!

all good here! Another sober weekend nearly done!
birthday next week…. And I’ve decided… to stay AF! Can’t quite believe I’m saying that but actually I feel really good, really energised and I do really want to redefine my relationship with booze! And I do think dry jan can be the beginning of it! So I’m going all the way!!!! Eeeeeeek!
xxxx

Just realised I tagged @TripleTipplePipple instead of @Soberjan about feeling stressed etc!!!! Sorrrrrry!
hoe are you doing @TripleTipplePipple xxxx

Aw thanks @Mj20 you are always so supportive and it did make sense what you said. Amazing you have decided AF for your birthday I really wish I had that resolve last week hehe all good though. I went to the gym and went looking for craft bits as I'm going to try and do stuff with my hands when the urge happens in the evenings!!!! My goal is just weekend but the more I try the harder it gets if that makes sense so actually it is easier going fully sober ...I just hack the forever thing x

Evening, all. Just catching up, it all sounds very positive ! @Mj20 , you are smashing it. I'm so glad you're feeling great, your positivity is inspirational. And well done for your decision to stay af on your birthday, a great gift to yourself. Talking of gifts @Hohofortherobbers , the ring is gorgeous. And @Soberjan , you're doing well, you're still here, still trying. We have to move at our own pace, so just keep trying. I think you're best just taking 1 day at a time. You have a few af days for January ( 10 ? I think, like me), which I think is good. Great idea regarding the crafts : I quite fancy painting but I'm too cold atm !!
I'm shattered after my walking. About 3 hours in total, then back to the cottage where we cooked a roast.....and I drank. I'm ok with it, but I know I need to reign it in. I haven't had an af weekend yet, so I'm going to try this weekend.

Evening all, well done on your birthday AF decision @mj20. We'll be here to support you. Your weekend away sounds lovely and cosy @Amdone123 . Another AF day here, took the kids rollerskating and hung out with friends this afternoon whilst they played. Still sleeping well and, as I've said before, sober sex is definitely another AF benefit !!

Happy Monday folks! Are you home from your mini break @Amdone123 ? I'm here and dry, hitting the sugar pretty hard though!