Mindfulness, Moderating and Not Texting In The Kitchen !

[Amdone123]

Morning all..hope you're all ok. Well I had busy weekend. I didn't quite stick to my plans : I drank Friday evening ( didn't eat), and drank last night, too. I don't feel great today but I am looking forward to having a break. I know I want to get back to being af and all its benefits.
I was thinking that I am able to stay in and not drink. My next step will be going out and not going mad !

Hi all! How are we all doing???
I’m day 10 A/F!!! Had a near miss Monday as went to a friends for tea and there was wine… I was driving so could of only had one but decided not to! Took a lot of Will power but I did it!! It’s given me a lot of confidence that I was so strong willed.
I’m sleeping so good right now- thinking it’s a side effect of booze free!!!

@Amdone123 defo making a plan is the way forward!!! Filling up on lots of food is a great idea! Also do you drive??? That always stops me because I won’t drink drive. Or perhaps if you do want to drink opt for a long drink like gin and tonic??? I find that slows me down???

@Hohofortherobbers I totally agree that it’s harder now everything’s opening back up! You sound like your managing it really well.

I’m not sure what the plan is for me/what goal I have but right now I seem to just be in the zone! I’m already thinking I might do another A/F weekend- I just had such a great weekend last week that it’s kinda spurred me on! Anyway! We shall see!

Have a great day all xx

Morning all ! I've just woken up, so tired. I'm probably catching up as I didn't sleep well on my weekend break. @Buntyforgirls, your break sounds great! Good that you've not had hangover but I know what you mean about the 3 or 4 glasses, it does make you feel sluggish I think. Still, enjoy your break. When you're home you'll definitely want to drink and eat less. I think most people are good at listening to their bodies. It's probably why everyone eats better in January!
@Mj20, Day 10 is brilliant. Well done ! You are smashing it. And definitely better sleep is a brilliant reward for being af.
Thanks for your suggestion of trying a long drink. That would definitely work for me. I just have to remember to do it. I automatically buy a bottle of wine so I will remember to order a beer or gin n tonic. One of my friends, ex colleague, drinks southern Comfort and lemonade so I might join her. I don't drive no. My dh will take me and I'm going to ask my ds to come for me at 4pm. 3 hours is sociable enough. I do have my granddaughter Thursday evenings so that's my incentive to just have a few drinks, a nice meal and not stay out. In fact I'll text my friends now to tell them I have to leave at 4pm. And I'll be up for an af weekend definitely so will do that.

@Amdone123 that sounds like a perfect plan! I think being so mindful Is really the key!!!
You’ve got this!!
Keep us updated on how it goes! We are all rooting for you xxx

@Mj20, awh thanks 😊

@Amdone123 a curfew is a great idea(one I am very bad at sticking to unfortunately!)
I also find a g and t etc has not such a wipeout effect as the evil vino, also trying a non af after a couple of glasses, as at that point you have had the best of the alcohol and anything else is habit- drinking- but easier said than done often...!
And such fab work@Mj20!

@Buntyforgirls, that's a great idea, thank you. The good thing is I'm not in the mood for it today. One of my Danger Areas is when I wake and KNOW I'm going to drink. That's a hard one to overcome. But today will be fine and I'm not even bothered about tomorrow night. I'm looking forward to Saturday and Sunday and chilling out ! I'm not a social butterfly at all.

@Amdone123 you sound completely in the zone! You not being in the mood and not being bothered could potentially be because your creating these new habits!!!

I’ve gone oooooh it’s Friday tomorrow it’s going to be hard not to drink! Then I’ve thought hold on! No it’s not.. it’s like any other day! So yup trying for another AF weekend xx

@Mj20, you're so right ! I'm equating drinking 🍸 with a headache etc !
Yeah that Friday thing is weird for so many people, drinking whether you want to or not ; letting the day dictate !
You're doing so well. Thanks for your support; everything everyone says, sticks in my head and helps so much.

Evening all ! Well, a good day. A strange day really. Probably because I've never gone out and not been at least tipsy on arriving home. So, I had 3 beers in total. Really enjoyed them. I didn't eat as everyone wanted to eat within 30 minutes of arriving and I just wasn't ready. My friend then bought me one of the beers ( I requested sparkling water but she insisted on a beer !). We had a lovely time, reminiscing about the good old days. Laughed a lot. One of the best things was that I felt more engaged with them ; like I was asking more questions about them because I wanted to know, where previously I was kind of worried ( perhaps not the right word - preoccupied? ) about where the next drink was coming from. Also, because I wasn't smoking I wasn't in n out and missing the conversation!
Dh picked me up at 4.30pm. I was hungry so got the ingredients to make king prawn chow mein...and a bottle of white wine. My dh will have 1 glass and I'll have 2. I've already had 1 whilst cooking, but I feel in control. And happy. There is no way before I would have done my day out like this. That's why it feels a bit strange!

Way to enjoy alcohol @Amdone123- well done!
And- you are forging new habits to help you moving forward too. fab!

@Buntyforgirls, thanks. And I didn't even finish the wine. Still early days for me. I don't think I can take my eye off the ball but yes, I'm getting there !

@Amdone123 I’m sat here smiling reading your post because you’ve honestly done so well!
It’s amazing that your noticing all the benefits too- like feeling more engaged etc etc! Good for you! Your doing amazing xxxx

@Mj20, thanks. I do feel good and I know tomorrow I will feel great. Have to keep remembering the pain of hangovers!

You’ll feel so proud of yourself when you wake up lovely and fresh x

Crikey!! Not quite the night I planned! I met with my friends - friends I've known since 11 ! 2 of them really struggle to get on : they were the closest historically, but my god, they clashed tonight !! I nosedived into the beer! I'm proud though that I didn't drink wine!
It's funny, in retrospect. I'm having a cider now to decompress!!
Christ, all I want is to be at home with my dog!!

Hi all!!!!
So as planned I’m having my A/f weekend! I had a lovely Friday getting organised… big food shop/deep cleaned the house. I was especially looking forward to a great nights sleep and a lie in but I’ve woken up middle of night not feeling 100%!!!!

Anyway hope your ok @Amdone123?!? Sounds like an interesting night…
But yet again you’ve done really really well! Xxx

Hope everyone else is doing ok!!!!?!
I’ve given up trying to sleep abd am on the sofa scrolling 🙄 xxx

@Mj20, hope you're feeling better and managed to get some sleep. I often wake in the middle of the night but then realise I've slept for 5 or 6 hours and that's all I need. It's frustrating though but I've probably said it before I'd rather be awake without hangover symptoms than hungover. Got a bit of a headache today but all last night confirmed for me was that I am past going out ! I much prefer just eating out with my dh really or going for a drive. I'm going to try turning down invitations and stop being a people pleaser !
Have a great day everyone. Definitely an af weekend for me. 2 days to look after myself for once!

Hey @Amdone123 thanks for checking on me. I managed to go back to sleep so although a broken night I still got sleep! So funny you said what I was thinking…. I’d rather be awake all night sober then wake up hungover too!!!!!

It sounds like as your choosing AF more often your completely rewriting your idea of a good time and I really think this is key!!!! Good for you- your doing really well!!!!!! Xxxx

@Mj20, thanks. I don't know what it is but I honestly feel like I've turned a corner. Finally!!
Glad you managed some sleep. I'm chilling today.

@Amdone123 I’m the same tbh. Feels like something clicked!!!!!
Same here! Nice quiet day! Enjoy X

How was everyone’s weekends xx

@Mj20, morning ! Hope you're ok. I'm good ta. Saturday I was slightly hungover which pissed me off ( the feeling was a bit like when you're watching what you eat and waste calories on something you don't enjoy!). Yesterday I fell off the wagon in spectacular fashion ( compared to how 'good' I've been. 1 bottle of my favourite wine, 2 beers, a brandy ((!!) And I smoked). But, I had a lovely day. I've been quite anxious as my ds has gone abroad with my granddaughter. Whilst I know he'll be fine - he's a brilliant dad and the little one is so well looked after), I feel like I needed to escape.

Anyway it's done now. I've not heard from him but no news and all that !
How was your weekend? You're doing so well. You must be on Day 12 ? I was thinking that in your last post you sounded so upbeat and positive - a far cry from your first thread. I think going af does make you happier though. Drinking makes you happy temporarily but going af makes you happier permanently! I tend to live in the moment and I've just realised why I drink!!!

Can I join? I was scanning your posts and it all 'fits'. My problem is not frequency, it's knowing when to stop. I always just go OTT. Last week I met a friend not seen since pre lockdown. 3 bottles of wine & couple of beers later I was saying let's keep going! Luckily everywhere was shut. Terrible hangover + hangover guilt. I really can't drink wine these days. Even 2/3 glasses I feel crap the next day.

So I want to not get wasted. Few weeks on the wagon then know when to stop when I am out. Nothing ever good comes of getting wasted IMO.

Welcome @DirtyDancing- yes, we are all familiar with that feeling here! And taking steps, trying all sorts of ways to change the behaviour until we find one that works.And trying to be kind to ourselves as work through it- this is so important but not easy!

Be kind to yourself too @Amdone123. In the wider perspective you are still on track, lovely x