Mindfulness, Moderating and Not Texting In The Kitchen !

[Amdone123]

Morning all..hope you're all ok. Well I had busy weekend. I didn't quite stick to my plans : I drank Friday evening ( didn't eat), and drank last night, too. I don't feel great today but I am looking forward to having a break. I know I want to get back to being af and all its benefits.
I was thinking that I am able to stay in and not drink. My next step will be going out and not going mad !

@indieray , I'm the same. I won't go out and buy it. However, if I had the half bottle, I would then go out and buy it. That's why I pour it away.
Well, you've done the first step regarding the gym. Now all you have to do is schedule in that first visit, and you're on your way.
And, getting healthy, losing weight, feeling energised, will all encourage you to drink less. You'll find a different high.

Hi all!!! Just catching up….

firstly @Soberjan @Amdone123 remembers very well…. And in fact it could have been me writing your anxious post yesterday!!!! It’s very common for me to get awful anxiety after drinking! Analysing everything I’ve said and over thinking, whilst in a panic. It’s so horrendous. I often get it mildly but after a big night it’s like next level!!!!! I hope you’re feeling ok and brighter today!!!!!!

@Amdone123 you’ve done so well with your sobers days as has @indieray!!!! good work to you both!!!! @Amdone123 as always I just love your easy going, measured, reflective approach to everything!!!! It’s so refreshing and inspirational and I’m really trying to follow your mindset! @indieray not drinking certainly helps the diet…. Well in my case it does! As I don’t eat loads of rubbish when drunk and am full of energy the following day!!!! I’ve lost 4 pound this month…. I know it’s not huge but a pound a week is my target for the next 18 weeks so I’m on track 🥳

so although I’ve abstained through Jan….and reaped the benefits My test will now be what many of you are mentioning…. The treat days!!!! This is my difficulty where I want a couple and then over do it. I’d plan on buying the small wines but I have loads of full bottles that were left over from Xmas/gifted……. Watch this space as I’m sure I’ll be on here looking for support and advice on limiting amounts!!!!!but for now I’ll carry on abstaining till mid feb!

How are you @Hohofortherobbers????

im really up for a new thread…. It’s going to be hard to beat our last title 🤣 but would be nice to do a fresh thread for a fresh month xxx

Awh thanks @Mj20 , I don't feel inspirational but I'll take it 🤣.
I'm definitely reflective, but sometimes wish I didn't think so much.
Oh yes, regarding the thread title - I never text people now when I'm in the kitchen - I leave my phone upstairs or tell my dh to hide it 🤣. It works. Plus, I got fed up of only texting people when I'd had a drink. I don't hear from anyone otherwise 😏 ( and, indeed, I haven't heard from anyone in 2023 ! ).

@Amdone123 i Also leave my phone upstairs to avoid the drunk dialling 🤣🤣🤣

Omg I never knew what txting in the kitchen was on the thread title as I joined late and never read the first messages lol I tend to drunk text too well I used to. What shall we name the new thread then? Moderating Minxes lol sorry sounds awful erm Moderation or Abstaining all welcome ? Bit generic I guess but wanted to welcome all so they aren't just stuck on the dry thread I can't remember what it's called so if someone has blips we are non judgemental. Also what shall I change my name to?

And yes @Amdone123 I too feel you are inspiring and @Mj20 I feel you get everyone and are quite upbeat I love it!

@Soberjan i think me and @Amdone123 titled it because we both kept texting people drunkenly from our kitchens and then so many other people were like omg I do that too 🤣 it was very funny! But perhaps not relevant anymore 🤣

how about….no longer texting in the kitchen…. But still trying to mindfully moderate ! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

sorry I don’t really have a great suggestion!
and @Soberjan its really funny but you’ve actually described me perfectly! I’m a real people person and really upbeat 🤣 unless hungover and anxious xxx

Evening! Ah @indindieray , I would drink the half bottle too, I can only abstain if my poison, red wine, isn't in the house. I might just be able to hold out if it is not open. Game over if its open, its already gone. Definitely up for a moderating February thread. Thread title.... Little Miss Moderating?

quite like that title @Hohofortherobbers or Little More Moderating and Less Drinking Daily? I dont know im shite at these things. And yes as there was a tiny bit in the bottle (why on earth was it left there anyway from sat night) I drank it but then DH opened more and more, red is also my poison. I have a full on work week this week so my plan is actually to not drink all week. god help me .
@Mj20 I am also upbeat and fun but not when hungover and anxious and I dont want my kids to see me getting tipsy and its beern quite a few occasions this month thats happened. I am determined to do this now.

Morning all. I like the suggestion titles. We'll keep thinking but anyone of those sums us up.
Or...On A Mission to Moderate ?
I looked at my tally for January and worked out I'm 81% for this month. I love a percentage 🤣 - I think I'll aim for 80% every month as I try to follow that weight wise - 80% sensible, have a break 20%. Does anyone else do this ?
Really, I'd like to abstain but I don't think I can.
Anyway, have a good day, folks - at least Monday is not as problematic as weekends.

I like 'on a mission to moderate' let's run with that, all in favour say aye.... Aye!

@Hohofortherobbers 🤣.....or...
On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining ?
Come onboard !

I swear I need a life

AYE AYE 🥳🤣

I love the supportive nature of this thread, without judgment and shame. It’s really great.

But here’s my thought for the day and piece of homework if you’re up for it.

Step into the future version of you who has achieved her drinking goals. As though you are now able to drink just one glass of white and stop there. Or to go AF entirely. Whatever you want. Close your eyes (if that works for you) or just stare into space and go really, really, really quiet with yourself. Soak in the possibility of this actually really happening. And far more quickly than you may think possible. Get to that place in your imagination.

Then learn from that future version of you.

What has she learned? What does she do differently?

And what has she given up? (The answer to this is not “drinking” but what has she given up in her life to achieve her goals. Has she dropped caring whether friends think she’s boring if she doesn’t drink? Has she dropped needing to drink to stop feeling stressed and just accepted that life will feel stressful sometimes? Has she dropped the story that she will never figure this out?)

The simplest way to create a permanent change is to start by believing it’s possible. That it’s DONE. Right now. So you’re not TRYING to drink less, but you’re taking the actions of someone who does drink less to become her now.

Great message and something to think about tonight @brightspice when I have a minute to myself once kids are in bed! Thank you for all your guidance and advice on this thread too its really helpful! I haven't thought about wine tonight even after a shite day at work which usually is a trigger (well I saw 2 empty bottles just sitting there from last night staring at me and I know I need to chuck them out of sight but I don't want to touch them if that makes sense!) Thinking about my actions yesterday I was pissed and didn't realise it. I'm also purposely not going out for whole of Feb because I feel that's also a trigger everything is a bloody trigger ! Definitely need to start acting like I'm a non drinker as @brightspice so I can believe it.
I like the titles @Amdone123 ! I like the Abstaining one too as some might go from moderating to abstaining or other way round etc room for all!

@Soberjan I would get really curious about the fact that you haven't thought about wine today despite having a bad day at work. Hmm - interesting, eh? Does this go against a story you may tell yourself that you get triggered to drink after a bad day at work?? 😀 So now you see that both are possible for you - to get triggered or not after a bad day at work. So that means it's no longer a foregone conclusion that you'll drink after a bad day at work. Right? Which opens up possibility. Real possibility for change. I love it when that kind of thing happens, when we see our thoughts for what they are: just sentences in our brain. We get to choose which we listen to.

Now you mention it you are right @brightspice ! I can NOT drink because of the bad day at work, I don't feel like just because I had a bad day means immediate drinking like I deserve to damage my liver and make myself ill because of the bad day. Lol it sounds bonkers when you write it out...well I know I have been out loads in December and January and that didn't help so needs must but I am consciously not going to go out ! If I do I want it to be worn my DH as we haven't had time to ourselves since last August and I'm more likely not to go mental and over board if I'm with him at a nice meal. Not a bar where I've been the last 4 weekends getting drunk on crap wine. And also the home thing as my DH will be drinking at home at weekends I'm going to try and not...it is very hard when it's right in front of you though. But I'll cross that bridge on Friday if I get that far and I'm determined to!!!

Hi! We went out for an impromptu family tea, dh had a draught beer which looked so inviting, but as there were no AF beers available I just had Sprite. Pleased I didn't cave, 31st tomorrow!! No immediate plans to drink though. At an event on Friday which is typically very boozy, I'll make a decision about that nearer the time.

Morning all.
Well, last day of January and however far we got, I hope you're all proud of what you've achieved.
Well done @Hohofortherobbers , for having a sprite and @Mj20 , super proud of you today.
Thank you @brightspice , for the homework. I only had time to read it quickly but what I did read had me thinking.
@Soberjan , I love the idea of staying in. I'd 'join' you, but I'm going away for 5 days - maybe when I get back.
New thread is.......drum roll.........

On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining ?
Join us today for encouragement, support and non - judgmental chat.

I'll post it tomorrow.

Good morning all!!!!
@Amdone123 @Hohofortherobbers @Soberjan
31st Jan!!! We did it 🤣🥳 im so proud of us all! I think in the past month, whether we’ve abstained or moderated we’ve all made massive steps!!!!!
@brightspice really interesting post… in a lot of my goal setting in my journal it’s based around writing in the first person as if you’ve already achieved your goals as we are our thoughts! Which is super interesting!
Therefore my relationship with alcohol is high days and holidays where I moderate with ease!!

so now dry jan is done, much like @Hohofortherobbers i have no immediate plans to drink…. But I’ll obviously keep you all posted and check in!!!!!!
let’s have more of the same in feb all 😘
and I love the thread title! Looking forward to a new one.
xxxx

@Amdone123 it's me soberjan thought I better do a quick name change! Love the new title you cracked it thank you so much! lol
I didn't drink last night as I said but then I overslept!!!! So was rushing around with one eye open waking children and saying we are late we are late and even though I feel like I've drunk (think it's the after effects from the weekend still ) I still have made it to my gym class even though I am going to be in pain doing it! But yes feeling positive and understand it's very early days but I'm going to do this!!!!! @Amdone123 love that you are off on holidays is it spain or somewhere different will you be going on your own or with dH? Can the dog come??? Because I know you miss him when you are away. I am also on holiday but not until march and just a weekend it's going to be a tricky one but I'll navigate that as and when as others have said! @Mj20 and @Hohofortherobbers you should be so proud of yourselves coming all the way to the end and not a drink to be had pat on the backs and virtual hugs to you!!!!!!

@Determineddoris , love the new name, made me laugh 😂
I'm going to Tenerife with dh and dsis and her dh. I will miss the dog. I miss him whenever I'm away from him, even if it's only for a couple of hours. I admit I need help 🤣.
Well done for getting to the gym class, that's great. I can't get motivated regarding exercise though my job is very physical and after 2.5 hours cleaning pretty much non stop, it's like I've done a work out. Yeah, don't think about your holiday yet - I think you'll stick to your guns in February - I have faith in you.

Thank you so much for your faith in me @Amdone123 ! Really appreciate it ! Tenerife yay sounds fab! I can't wait for our summer holidays! When the sun shines a bit it makes me feel good. I definitely have SAD but don't do anything about it. The gym class was hard and I have been rushing around and it's already this time and got to get the kids ! I hope they'll be silent for me so I can watch happy valley . I just watched the first two seasons to get up to speed!

Also just read on the dry Jan thread some wanting a moderating thread after they've done dry Jan!

Drank Sunday didn't I even though I said I wasn't 🙄😩 woke up early Monday morn totally regretful !
Was not worth it ! So been AF since
Then!
How is everyone doing ?