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Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional. Even qualified doctors can't diagnose over the internet, so keep that in mind when seeking or offering advice.

Alcohol support

Charged with Drink Driving

136 replies

PurpleDaisy2114 · 01/09/2019 15:23

Hi all- I should have joined this thread much sooner. I have been charged. With drink driving and have a pending court date. I can't believe it has taken this to make me wake up to my behaviour. The alcohol consumption has been increasing last few months and whenever I'm out I'm always the most drunk, I don't know when to stop.
I like how alcohol makes me feel, the way it turns off all the voices and thoughts and stops me being so awkward and self conscious. I definitely self- medicate but after spending a night in a police cell the stark reality has really hit me. I could have killed somebody. What was I thinking.
I'm not sure how to start to piece things back together. I have a family- dh and 2 children.

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Orchidflower1 · 01/09/2019 15:33

I’m glad it’s been the wake up call you need and yes you could have killed yourself or some innocent soul.

You deserve any punishment you get but you also deserve some support to get shot of the alcohol forever and move on with your life.

Make it a way to help yourself and others. Move forward with this.

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PurpleDaisy2114 · 01/09/2019 17:19

Thank you for taking the time to answer orchidflower 👍

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Gigia · 01/09/2019 17:22

Do you have support in real life? Is your DH supportive?

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pooopypants · 01/09/2019 17:27

Have you contacted anyone OP, AA etc?

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Passthecherrycoke · 01/09/2019 17:28

I’m sorry to hear this OP but well done for taking it for the wake up call it is. Best of luck.

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PurpleDaisy2114 · 01/09/2019 17:35

DH has hidden all alcohol in the house. He is upset/angry and worried for me. It's also of the how the impact of it all makes life harder for him.
Not contacted anyone yet.

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Passthecherrycoke · 01/09/2019 17:36

Are you physically addicted? Why does he need to hide the alcohol does he think you’ll drink in secret?

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Bluntness100 · 01/09/2019 17:43

Op this is very serious. I'm guessing you have legal representation? How far over the limit were you? How were you caught?

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ChefsFloozie · 01/09/2019 17:49

My DH was in this situation. Luckily for us all it was the massive wake up call that he needed and has been sober 263 days. Accessed counselling through the GP and attends AA when he can. And isn't able to drive til next May! PM me if you want to ask anything about the court hearing etc

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PurpleDaisy2114 · 01/09/2019 18:15

He can't bear to look at it. I have very occasionally drunk in secret, yes.
As for being physically addicted- I don't know. I haven't touched alcohol since in happened (48 hours) .
I don't have any legal rep yet. I am going to call my employee assistance at work tomorrow to try and get that on the go. I declined a solicitor being at my interview after being arrested.i just thought well I've done it, hands up etc. I was kept in overnight.
I was 59 mg where limit is 35.
I was driving home after night out and went over kerb erratically. No other people involved. Police saw car in the middle of road and me nearby.

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Bluntness100 · 01/09/2019 18:49

Ok, you'll probably just lose your licence. Does your job rely on it? Will having a criminal record impact your work?

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Orchidflower1 · 01/09/2019 18:57

If you haven’t drink for 48 hours I would assume you’re not physically addicted.

Take steps to get yourself help. It sounds like your dh is supporting you. Remember he can get support too as a spouse of an alcoholic.

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Raphael34 · 01/09/2019 19:01

How much were you over? You’ll lose your license plus have a heavy fine.

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PurpleDaisy2114 · 02/09/2019 08:56

I work in civil service. Am ringing employee assistance today for advice.

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PurpleDaisy2114 · 02/09/2019 14:31

I have alcohol assessment booked with a support service

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Bumbags · 07/09/2019 20:22

@PurpleDaisy2114

Has anything else happened this week to support you?

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PurpleDaisy2114 · 08/09/2019 13:28

Hi Bumbags thanks for asking. Well I've got an appt set up with solicitor and will be getting some counselling through dh work as my EAP was not that helpful to be fair. Union put me through to a solicitor who was going to charge over 1K and I was really low as I didn't know which direction to turn.
Car is written off even though 85% of it looks fine.
Dh and I have shared some wine on the house but I've not drunk out of house or in after at all. Have felt dazed all week. I've hardly told anyone I am so ashamed.

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GlasshouseStoneThrower · 08/09/2019 13:40

The possible penalties for driving while drunk are 6months’ imprisonment, an unlimited fine, and a driving ban for at least a year. Although a driving ban is a common consequence, the court has discretion in respect of all options and will determine a punishment which they deem proportionate. They will have regard to factors such as whether this is your first offence, how far in excess of the limit you were, and whether there are any mitigating factors.

It is worth speaking to a solicitor even though you've admitted guilt, because they will know how best to present your case to minimise the punishment you receive (if this is reasonable / possible). It could be the difference between a fine and a custodial sentence.

It goes without saying that you need to sign up for AA or an equivalent programme.

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mylifenow27 · 08/09/2019 14:17

You really really need to get a solicitor. Even tho you are admitting guilt the prosecution will be trying to get the toughest punishment for you and it's your solicitors job to fight your corner and reason with why that wouldn't be suitable.

My partner was in court recently for something silly (not dangerous or nasty)he thought as he was admitting it he wouldn't need a solicitor but the prosecution wiped the floor with him and even tho he's every educated under all that pressure it's very hard to perform the correct way. It ended up been adjourned He was looking a prison time but his solicitor managed to get him community service instead.

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DontLookBackIntoTheSun · 08/09/2019 14:25

You don’t need a solicitor but if you want one, you can speak to the duty solicitor at court free of charge. You are looking at a fine and a ban from driving for 12-16 months.
Sentencing guidelines here: www.sentencingcouncil.org.uk/offences/magistrates-court/item/excess-alcohol-driveattempt-to-drive-revised-2017/

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Fairylea · 08/09/2019 14:30

Your dh shouldn’t just be hiding the alcohol in the house. It should all be given away or binned. For you to be successful at staying off it your house needs to be completely free of alcohol. Speaking from experience - mine and also being in a family of alcoholics - my mum, Gran and Dad...

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sashh · 08/09/2019 14:53

Go see your GP OP Valium / Librium/other trancs are not a long term answer but can help you sleep and deal with stress short term.

There is also a drug called acamprosate that dulls the craving for alcohol.

Get letters to the magistrate / judge from your husband and anyone else who will be impacted by your ban, don't have them make excuses stick to the facts eg will your dh now have to do drop off and pick up of your children? Will you be unable to work?

There is guidance online about how to write this type of letter.

You need to show the court that

a) you are sorry about what you have done, that no one was hurt but that was luck and you realise you could have killed someone.

b)any and all action you are taking to rectify things.

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PurpleDaisy2114 · 08/09/2019 16:11

Thanks for all your comments.

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Hohofortherobbers · 08/09/2019 16:35

Relative of mine was 4 times the limit, first offence, got a 6k fine and 2 year ban. Spent a lot of money on legal bills though, in excess of 10k for best representation. There were references from a doctor explaining recent circumstances and character references which helped. Now in AA and a stint in rehab, you should not drink anymore if you cannot control your intake, believe it or not the dd charge was not the end of this sad story, its true that an alcoholic has to reach rock bottom before they can stop.

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PurpleDaisy2114 · 09/09/2019 13:28

Wow thank you Hoho.

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